1 year old and 3 year old

What happens if you stay until 3 year old asleep? I've been there- same age difference and remember it well. Sleep wasnt and still isn't our family strong point!!! But I did have to stay with them at that age otherwise it was a free for all! Tried music on low in background? Lavender oil is great too- humidifier or just dabbled on pillows.

Can you split bedtime with their father and do one child each, one in their room and one in yours? You could get the three year old to fall asleep in your bed and then transfer them when all kids are soundly asleep.

If the transfer idea doesn't work, could the three year old fall asleep first in their room and then you slip in with the youngest when they're almost asleep - assuming you can stretch their bedtime a little due to the nap?

Divide and conquer was the only thing that worked for us...

Oh god I feel for you op. It's hard enough settling mine and they are in separate rooms.

Both have white noise to try and block the noise from each other. It helps a bit. Might be worth a try?

Are you just leaving an in possible screaming baby to cry itself to sleep? And letting the three year old run round?

It's suggest you need a more hands on bedtime, rather than just your routine, switching the light off and going, for your children's sakes if not the neighbours. Stay, cuddle, comfort, and yes it takes ages but that's kind of normal at these ages. I think your are being unrealistic to expect them to go to bed in the way that you have currently organised things -certainly for your youngest. If not a cuddle to sort, then at least since patting and shhing, be and with pain relief for those teeth.

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding, but it sounds as though you just put them in their beds and then leave them to it for the night? At that age I'd definitely expect to stay with your 1.5 year old until they were asleep, and sounds like your 3 year old would probably benefit from that for a little while as well. I think doing their bedtimes separately is definitely good advice if you can make that work.

I had an issue of ds 3 messing about and keeping up younger sibling. Things that helped, putting younger one to bed 30 minutes earlier to make sure they're asleep (no audience made ds behave better) and sticker chart. I was amazed it worked but it did, draw 7 boxes on a piece of paper show sticker explain that to get a sticker you have to go to bed stay in bed and no getting out.