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Was it more of a shock going from one to two children or two to three?

(12 Posts)
lalalonglegs Mon 01-Oct-07 15:54:30

Was it more of a shock going from one to two children or two to three? I am pregnant with third child - all planned and very happy. I have dd who will be 4 when new baby comes and ds who will be 23 months (they get on well together). Have started panicking about how new baby will fit in - will ds feel squeezed out? How will I cope (he won't have started nursery, dd won't start school until a few months after). Do other women panic? How does going from two to three differ from one to two? Keep meeting people (who don't know I am pregnant) who go on about how glad they are that they stopped at two, three would be a nightmare etc etc.

nutcracker Mon 01-Oct-07 15:55:03

One to two, most definatly. Two to Three was a breeze in comparison.

TheQueenOfQuotes Mon 01-Oct-07 15:57:35

definitely hard going from one to two - the getting used to dividing your time is a shock first time round - but going to 3 you're already used to juggling - you've just got one extra ball child to juggle with.

My DS's are 7, 3 3/4yrs and 4 months.

zubb Mon 01-Oct-07 15:58:11

none to one was the biggest shock, but I would say 2 to 3 was easier than 1 to 2 for me. I have similar gaps to you, and ds3 just fitted in with no trouble.

OrmIrian Mon 01-Oct-07 16:00:58

Initially I found 1 to 2 harder - DS#1 was only 2 when DD was born and I really struggled. But as they got older it became a breeze. When I went from 2 to 3 the first year was quite easy - but long-term it's been much much harder.

Agree with Zubb, nothing is as big a shock as going from none to one. second and third children just fitted in with the rest of the familt,

lalalonglegs Mon 01-Oct-07 16:08:05

Find OrmIrian's post a bit ominous - please explain.

OrmIrian Mon 01-Oct-07 16:21:43

Sorry lala grin

Simply that in our family DS#2 made a big difference. I had to go to part-time working so money became an issue. DD was 4 when he was born so had her nose put out of joint big time having been the baby (she still tells me that I baby him too much hmm). We've always had poor sleepers for kids - another 3 yrs of broken nights was too much. With both of us working there is never enough time for the things we need to do, let alone the things we want to do. DH and I have no time together - and I have no time for myself. The 2 boys are sharing which is beginning to be an issue for DS#1 who is now 10 and we can't afford to move. Dh and I are now in our 40s and maybe that makes a difference? if we had been younger we might have taken it in our stride better. I don't know.

But some or all of those things are probably unique to us and wouldn't neccessarily be a problem for other families. And I think the biggest issue was that we had planned 2 and no 3 was a big shock. And then DS#2 had soft markers for Downs and rightly or wrongly we decided against an amnio but that didn't stop me worrying. It had an impact on the whole pregnancy which might have affected the way I felt about DS altogether.

That was long... but you did ask grin

3sEnough Mon 01-Oct-07 16:23:25

0-1 the hardest, 1-2, pretty rotten (learned to shout!) 2-3 easy but the sheer logistics were awful - not shocking but terribly hard all the same.(Don't regret for a second though!)

lalalonglegs Mon 01-Oct-07 16:26:39

Thanks for getting back to me on that OrmIrian. Don't blame you for finding it hard with all those things going on. Luckily, in my case, although both dc terrible infants (reflux - fully expect dc3 to have it as well), few of your difficulties apply.

Zola78 Mon 01-Oct-07 16:32:46

I am having a terrible afternoon with my two children. I am pregnant with my third child and I am hoping and praying that number 3 just fits in. I too am beginning to panic. This was a planned pregnancy but what I didn't plan for was that my dh would be away from home so often and that I would be alone with two children under three on my own. I also didn't account for them (the boys) being so whingy and miserable. Rainy days and mondays always bring me down lol!!!!

I'll post tomorrow and hopefully I'll be feeling much happier.

TheQueenOfQuotes Mon 01-Oct-07 16:53:54

and just to add - DS2 was "thought about" - but not planned, and DS3 was, well ermm, a rather (lovely) large shock. Strangely DH and I are getting along even better now we have 3 children (even with DS3 being only 4 months old there's already "action in the bedroom" - sorry for TMI wink).

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