Hi all
I'm looking for some classic mums net honesty and support... Pleeeasse?!
I keep being worried about my 8 month old girls interaction with me and other people. She's an only child.
Her motor skills are great, gross motor skills so good, eats well.
But she just seems.... Antisocial... For lack of a better word.
She isn't a gooey eyed smiley baby at people. She's a death stare or no attention at all.
She does give eye contact on her terms and she does giggle when we tickle her etc.
But. I can't keep her attention. She will look to me but quickly look away. So teaching her clapping and waving is nye on impossible at the mo.
Is the world more interesting than people? Can babies just be antisocial and prefer their own thing?
Dr Google just screams autism whenever I Google anything to do with babies so that's useless as she's only 8 months!
Thank you for reading and really hope you can put my mind at rest.
C
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Parenting
Am I expecting too much from my 8 month old? How to keep their attention?
Cluhol · 23/07/2020 08:40
My DD didnt start clapping until she was well over 1 ... She could unscrew lids at 9 months but absolutely refused to clap or wave! When I raised this with our paediatrician he said exactly what pp said, 'when it's something useful to her she will do it' and that is exactly what happened.
So relax and enjoy her demonstrations of the skills she does prioritise
My (only child) is approaching 17 months, so about double the age of yours. He learnt to clap, wave etc when he was about one. Before that he was incredibly focused on one thing (usually spinning things, also a sign of autism according to Google ) and engaged much more with the wider world than he did with people. We don't think he really started to recognise "friends" until he was about 9/10 months. Now he's walking, saying a few words etc he seems a different child to how he was 8 months ago. He's fun and you can really have a laugh with him. Also, remember that she's spent the last 4+ months (half of her life) in this weird lockdown situation presumably not seeing many people to "socialise" with...
Btw we did do a baby sign class but as a parent you have to be really invested in teaching/learning the signs (kinda obvious) if you want your child to use them. We didn't go all in, for various reasons, so we only took away a few signs from the class which is fine for me but if you want to really get into it then you've got to dedicate time.
Hello there,
It’s over 29 years ago but my first was like this. She was great in many ways but hadn’t read the Penelope Leach chapters about the mother’s face being the most fascinating thing to a newborn who will study it for hours etc...
DD1 seemed to positively avoid my gaze, preferring the bold parallel bars of the cast iron bed head behind me. However when my mum appeared.....her eyes were glued to her face 
At about 8 months she went to a childminder a few times a week and she gave no fucks about being left and didn’t acknowledge it in any way, and seemed totally indifferent when I picked her up! It was mortifying!
I have to say she was very happy to see me first thing in the morning and did respond to games like peekaboo.
I don’t know what was going on but she grew up to be an affectionate, empathetic and conventionally successful child and then woman.
Sometimes I wish I had experienced the limpet-baby so many have (DD2 was very poorly and couldn’t really be cuddled much).
DD1 was a quite a fighty, refluxy feeder (bf) and I did sometimes wonder if she associated me with being drowned and smothered by enormous knockers, who knows. I remember seeing a friend bf her boy a few months after I stopped feeding DD1 and was stunned and sad to see how peaceful and blissful it was, he gazed up into her eyes.
DD1 mostly weaned herself at 7 months. I’d hoped to continue for longer, at least first and last thing.
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