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Start using Mumsnet PremiumHow to introduce children to new partner and their children
(2 Posts)I separated from my husband a couple of years ago, it ended extremely badly and was a terrible time. My children are aware when ex husband has a new girlfriend (he has had multiple) but he never introduced them.
I have been seeing someone for over six months who also has children (my ex does not know) and I am ready to move forward and want my children to see healthy relationships.
I'm just stuck on the introduction part - how should we do this?
What are yours stories, any advise on do's or don't s?
Children's age range is between 6-15
I’d only introduce them to your new partner if they’ve finished mourning your separation with their father. Children need time to accept their parents’ relationship is over. If new partners are introduced too soon they may feel a parent is being replaced, no matter how much you tell them otherwise.
First, introduce just your new partner, not his children as well. Pick an activity away from home (on neutral territory so the children don't feel their home is being invaded). It could be a bike ride, bowling, a walk and picnic lunch etc.... I’d suggest no more than about an hour and a half). Having an activity as the focus takes the pressure off.
Before hand, prepare some ideas about conversation starters - I’d suggest identifying what your children and new partner may have in common.
Keep PDAs to a minimum.
If it’s going well, slip away for a few minutes so your partner can briefly interact with the children on his own.
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