I grew up in what a lot of people refer to as a ‘toxic’ environment. Lots of criticism and negativity. Not much happiness. Never feeling I was good or good enough etc etc.
I want to be a good parent to my children and generally there is lots I do really well. I do lots of one to one time, an not harsh over mistakes they make, talk about feelings, etc.
However when I get stressed I get so grumpy and rant about things. Eg this week I got in a big grump about toys being everywhere and ranted on about not clearing up after themselves etc instead of just asking them calmly to tidy up.
I don’t like how I am when I’m stressed and I am worried I might be a toxic person.
What is a normal amount of parental grumpy ness/reasonable amount of grumpiness and when does it become toxic?
My daughter (4) was messing around constantly at bedtime tonight. After over an hour I told her I wasn’t going to stay in her room as she was Just playing and not settling. So I left. When I went in again to try settle her she was shouting singing and jumping about so I told her I was leaving again and she needed to go to sleep on her own and I was grumpy. After I left I heard her crying and saying “ why am I so stupid” now I feel like my being grumpy with her makes her feel like she is a bad person. I obviously went and spoke to her and helped her settle but I worry that my grumpiness makes my children feel like they are had people. Or maybe I’m being too harsh on myself and a certain amount of grumpiness is part of parenting and being a human?!
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Scared I’m a toxic parent
4 replies
AIMD · 15/07/2020 20:53
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