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Looking for some bedtime routine advice

(24 Posts)
zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:09:39

So...
My nearly one year old has always slept well but recently she has been going to bed at 7 as usual but then waking up at 9 and not going down until we go to bed (11/12pm). We wake up between 8.30 and 10. Nap around midday, nap around 15.00. Bed at 7 when she is tired.

Any advice from experience?

Should I be getting us up earlier? I'd prefer early morning and early nights!

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mrsmummy111 Thu 09-Jul-20 22:19:43

In my experience the 3pm nap is definitely too late, meaning she’s not tired enough at bedtime and waking after only a few hours. My 14 month old has always slept 7-7/7:30 since he was around 10 weeks old (we used to do a dream feed at 11pm until he was fully weaned and I was confident he no longer needed a night feed. You need to make the naps earlier ideally, my son does 30 mins from about 9:30-10 then anywhere between 1.5-2.5 hours at around 12:30/1pm - I wake him by 3pm latest so he’s tired enough at bedtime.
Have you sleep trained her by any chance? If my son woke at 9pm I’d leave him to resettle - but I am an advocate of sleep training (not cry it out) / gentler methods preferably but I certainly wouldn’t be getting him up and out of bed at 9pm otherwise he would begin to expect it.

mrsmummy111 Thu 09-Jul-20 22:22:04

Sometimes my son wakes at 8-8:30 if he’s super tired, in which case I forego the morning nap and just do one lunch nap around midday. I find as long as he sleeps a minimum of 1.5 hours at lunch then he can make it to 7pm bedtime (I make it 6:30 if he’s shattered) but I stopped giving afternoon naps at around 7 months as it was affecting bedtime in the way you explain.
Hope that helps! Good luck

Mangomumma Thu 09-Jul-20 22:22:40

She only needs 11/12 hours of night sleep so if she's waking at 10am then she won't be going to bed until 10/11pm. Sounds like she's treating 7pm bedtime as a nap. I'd see if you can gradually start waking her earlier. She only needs 2-3 hours in the day too. At that age my DD had naps mid morning & after lunch & generally did 7pm-6am. Good luck!

Thirdchild88 Thu 09-Jul-20 22:26:09

If you want to keep the 7pm bedtime I'd either wake her up earlier, or stop the afternoon nap.

Most babies at that age do still have two naps but that's based on a twelve hour day (usually 7-7) and yours is much shorter as she gets up later.

molifly14 Thu 09-Jul-20 22:28:36

If you want her to be down for seven you need her to be up for seven or earlier. My little one seems to be fine on 11 hours of (interrupted) sleep. So bed at 7 means up at six.

Also anything after 1/2 is too late for a nap in my experience.

Watermelon99 Thu 09-Jul-20 22:31:13

The sleep advice I got was that kids of that age generally sleep for about 12 hours in 24. If she was to sleep the whole night from 7pm to say 9am then have two naps that would be quite a lot of sleep to expect maybe? So that may be why she isn't tired enough to sleep very long after bedtime.

That said, in my experience with a terrible sleeper, now 2.5yrs, we just had to decide what we wanted re his sleep and then basically enforce it as kindly as possible. To our huge relief each change we made (starting with 'sorry but we can't stay awake and hold you all night' at 2 months old...) took only a few nights and a lot less crying than we had been dreading. We've always comforted him through it, not just CIO.

So you could just not let her get up at 9pm, instead say 'it's night time sweetheart, I will sit here/outside your door/whatever and read my book while you go back to sleep' and then if it takes her three hours of playing/objecting etc you just sympathise, comfort her but don't get her up. You can't force her to go back to sleep so don't try - but you can withdraw other options (like coming back downstairs) and your close attention so in the end she decides she might as well. Good luck!

2155User Thu 09-Jul-20 22:33:22

Would put a lot of money on the issue being that second nap in the day.
From around 12 months DS woke at 7am, napped 11:30-1:30 and went to bed at 7pm

2155User Thu 09-Jul-20 22:33:36

Would put a lot of money on the issue being that second nap in the day.
From around 12 months DS woke at 7am, napped 11:30-1:30 and went to bed at 7pm

zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:33:54

@mrsmummy111
Thank you!!! Perhaps we will her up earlier so her first nap is no later than 10!

No we haven't sleep trained just yet. We have just moved house and are moving again soon so I was kind of waiting. I can start tho as ever is the right time.

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2155User Thu 09-Jul-20 22:34:04

Babies need around 5 hours of awake time before they get sleepy at that age

zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:35:20

@Mangomumma brill! I'll do that! I also miss my early morning with a coffee so can start that again and she will soon follow! Not the coffee tho ha

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zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:36:11

@Thirdchild88 right yes. So then I can make both naps into one!

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zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:36:20

@Thirdchild88 right yes. So then I can make both naps into one!

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2155User Thu 09-Jul-20 22:37:00

And for reference, don't ever feel sleep training is necessary.
We have not ever done a second of sleep training and had DS who woke every 2 hours until 6 months... he now sleeps a solid 12 hours. I do believe children will simply sleep through when they're ready

zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:37:06

@Watermelon99 got it! Will get up at 7 tomorrow and see how it goes!

OP’s posts: |
2155User Thu 09-Jul-20 22:37:13

And for reference, don't ever feel sleep training is necessary.
We have not ever done a second of sleep training and had DS who woke every 2 hours until 6 months... he now sleeps a solid 12 hours. I do believe children will simply sleep through when they're ready

Fatted Thu 09-Jul-20 22:37:17

Ditch the afternoon nap. I would wake my DC up at 3pm to make sure they went to bed for 7pm.

I also agree that a 7pm bedtime is pretty early if she isn't getting up until 8.30am. You have to choose between your lie in or your evenings at this age I'm afraid.

zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:37:18

@Watermelon99 got it! Will get up at 7 tomorrow and see how it goes!

OP’s posts: |
AstridAv Thu 09-Jul-20 22:39:03

I would consider dropping the 3pm nap. Neither of mine were allowed to nap gone 2pm. Bring the morning nap more towards lunch, maybe after lunchtime. My LO is 17 months and for the last few months has been napping at around 10.30 for an hour or so (any later than 10.30 and he is a nightmare) he then goes to bed at 7pm and wakes around 6.

zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:40:17

Hi all! I've been replying to each person but so much advice coming in and I can't keep up!

Thank you SO much. It is so good Tomas a question and every answer is on the same wave length! I actually love early mornings and have felt sad having to have given them up! So tomorrow I will get up early and she will wake. Then I'll see how the rest of the day goes! Will update you in a few days!

OP’s posts: |
zoidforth Thu 09-Jul-20 22:41:13

Yes and I'll try to go longer between wake up and her arvo nap! Then just one nap and bed at 7! Fingers crossed!

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zoidforth Fri 17-Jul-20 20:54:04

Hi everyone, okay so it isn't really working. I've been doing:
7 - wake up and breakfast
9 - nap (1/2 to 1hr)
10.30 - snack
12 - nap (between 1hr and 2hrs - usually the former)
4 - dinner
7 - bed

She is then waking up still between 8 and half 8 and then awake until about 10/11!

OP’s posts: |
KingscoteStaff Sat 18-Jul-20 10:06:00

At 1 we did...
Up and breakfast at 7
Short nap at 9 (only 15-30 mins, often in the buggy)
Lunch at 11.45
Nap 12.30-2.30
Milk when he woke up from nap.
Tea at 5
Bath at 6, then into jamas and story in bed
Final milk at 6.30, lights down and songs
Lights off and final goodnight at 7.

Caveat is that he was cruising and walking all the time, plus we went swimming 2 or 3 times a week, so when it got to bedtime, he was knackered!

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