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When do you get your evenings back?

(146 Posts)
exhausted89 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:44:57

My DS is 10 weeks old. He’s usually a good sleeper at night, either waking for just one feed between 11pm and 6am or sleeping through entirely.

The problem is, I can’t get him to sleep in his cot during the evenings (7pm to 11pm). He will sleep, but only in the sling with me or DH.

Can anyone suggest how I can get him to sleep in his cot for those four hours? I love DS to bits but am feeling so exhausted and am struggling with having so little time to myself.

Also, is it realistic to hope for my evenings back at this early age?

OP’s posts: |
Harrykanesrightsock Tue 07-Jul-20 20:49:23

Briefly from 7 to 13 years then they’re generally up later than you

JellyBabiesSaveLives Tue 07-Jul-20 20:50:40

Well, dd goes to university in September so maybe then? Except I foolishly had 2 more children so another 5 years to go ...

Sorry, not helpful. I would suggest ds sleeps on dh in a different room to you in the evenings. And some evenings you have him.

titnomatani Tue 07-Jul-20 20:52:16

* Briefly from 7 to 13 years then they’re generally up later than you* 😂😂

My toddler is 22 months old and he still wakes up a few times during the evening/night 😭

titnomatani Tue 07-Jul-20 20:52:28

* Briefly from 7 to 13 years then they’re generally up later than you* 😂😂

My toddler is 22 months old and he still wakes up a few times during the evening/night 😭

OnlyFoolsnMothers Tue 07-Jul-20 20:52:43

Tbh I’d be grateful he sleeps through the night at this age. Evenings probably came back closer to 7/8 months onwards. I sleep trained around that time.
Sorry OP this is what is it at this age, so easy to say but it goes in a flash so try and enjoy it, you have plenty of evenings ahead.

Milly90 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:53:27

I think you get a gap where you have evenings to yourself at young school age so dc is 4.5 and is in bed by 8 giving me a couple hours
But a friend of mine has a 7yo who wont sleep till 9.30/10....

Superfoodie123 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:54:03

I didn't get mine back until she was 1 year. I settled with sleeping at the same time as her and it did me good to get those hours. Its a small window of time in the grand scheme and you'll get the evenings back OP. I know its hard though

tempnamechange98765 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:54:21

Both my DC had to naturally start going to bed earlier as they would just get too tired. I think at 4 months DC2 was going to bed around 8-8:30pm. They were both in bed by around 7pm from 6 months for sure.

Laidee Tue 07-Jul-20 20:56:29

My DS started going to bed (between 7:30-8pm) when he was about 5 months. Since then we've been able to get from bedtime to 10pm to ourselves, dream feed at 10 and then he goes back down until 7am. We think we are very lucky! But as others have said, treasure the time. It flies by! I can't believe my lo is almost 7 months 😭! Take it in turns with you DH and do something for yourself when it's his turn. Maybe a relaxing bath or even an early night xx

Incrediblytired Tue 07-Jul-20 20:57:40

I reclaimed my evenings at 8 months when I cracked and did sleep training.

I’m fine with that. Cracked it within 3 nights and she sleeps 12 hours through ever since. When all my friends are wrestling their children to bed three years later, I still have my evenings 😀😀

Artesia Tue 07-Jul-20 20:57:42

#eyes 3 children milling around and laughs a hollow laugh .....

Bookaholic73 Tue 07-Jul-20 20:59:07

My kids slept from 8pm-8am once they were 6 weeks. It was bliss.

Then they became teenagers..so no idea!

exhausted89 Tue 07-Jul-20 21:00:23

My kids slept from 8pm-8am once they were 6 weeks. It was bliss.

@Bookaholic73 one word: how? shock

OP’s posts: |
Periodprob Tue 07-Jul-20 21:00:38

Sorry but I clicked on this assuming your child would be around 3 grin

At 10 weeks you have a while to go yet. And yes, it disappears again at around 13 so if you're having any more, watch your age gaps!

Keepyourginup Tue 07-Jul-20 21:00:56

Mine slept through every night from 7/7.30pm to 7am from weaning (6 months). Never any issues - brilliant early bedtimes all through school...but now almost 11, she faffs around for hours/can't sleep/ needs light on/needs toilet...is frequently out of bed and some nights still awake when we come to bed about 11.30pm!!! Please someone tell me this is a lockdown/tween phase!

Rodent01 Tue 07-Jul-20 21:01:15

12 weeks with both of mine was when I started a bedtime routine. 6.30 bath, feed, bed 7/7.30 in dark with white noise if needed.
Usually 1 wake for feed then 6ish wake. I didn’t ever do a dream feed, never wanted to wake a sleeping baby, prefer to chance getting a 2/3am one the morning at 6/7ish.

Worked for me, but I had routine loving babies. The day feeds and naps needed to work to time to then get a good 7pm feed and bed without getting overtired or nap too late.

theproblemwitheyes Tue 07-Jul-20 21:02:05

At about 3 or 4 months DD started going down reliably at 7ish.

user1493413286 Tue 07-Jul-20 21:02:31

I started earlier bedtimes with my two when they were about 3-4 months: DS started naturally falling asleep earlier and DD I got into a nap routine so she was tired for 7.30 and spent a couple of weeks spending most evenings in the bedroom settling her. Other suggestions I’ve heard are to gradually bring bedtime forward by 15 minutes a night which may work better for you.
DS is still a baby and sometimes takes a while to settle and DD is now 3 and sometimes doesn’t go to bed well but generally I’ve found that I got my evenings back from when they were about 4 months so I don’t think it’s unrealistic as long as you don’t expect to have every evening and remember that if you want to get them to sleep to watch a film or see a friend etc then somehow they know and will be a nightmare!

Iggypoppie Tue 07-Jul-20 21:03:14

I bf so 7-9 was peak clusterfeeding time and and after that I was ready for bed myself.

Oly4 Tue 07-Jul-20 21:04:10

Three kids here, would only sleep on me or DH during those hours up until age about five or six months. Then up 2-4 times a night til age 2.
It is exhausting but it’s natural. Babies age 10 weeks prob want to feed or nap on you til 11pm/midnight

ImAncient Tue 07-Jul-20 21:04:20

Well I’ve been asked to pick up at 1am tonight as it’s someone’s birthday so 🤷🏻‍♀️😢 & though unusual for midweek it’s fairly standard for the weekend. I loved lockdown as did most of my friends as we didn’t have to do pick ups. Or deal with vomiting teens.

passthemustard Tue 07-Jul-20 21:05:53

This is your life now 😩

UltimateWednesday Tue 07-Jul-20 21:06:46

I had an awful time for the first 12 weeks or so with DS1 but I started a degree before he was a year old because I was so bored and fed up of wasting my evenings watching rubbish TV once he started with a proper bedtime routine.

SummerBreeze23 Tue 07-Jul-20 21:06:52

From around 5 months dd was put to bed and I'd have some evening time but this was a bit unreliable. I could rely on the time by about 8-9 months I think.

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