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I find my 11 yo son really annoying!

(15 Posts)
Lovingyou Sun 05-Jul-20 21:34:09

This is it in a nutshell and I'm really struggling with his behaviour. Every day we follow the same pattern - I get up in the morning and he's on the ipad (which in the scheme of things I don't have a problem with), I tell him to come off - breakfast is in 10 mins. He'll agree and "finish off what he's doing". 10 minutes later I'll call him for breakfast and it will take him 10 minutes to come downstairs - he's not on the iPad at this point, he's just messing / faffing by which time his breakfast has gone cold. This is a consistent theme for every mealtime but is a lesser problem to the one below.

Once he's got going for the day, he never stops talking. I literally have to tell him to stop when me or his brother need to say something as otherwise he would just continue with his monologue all day. It feels really inconsiderate that he does this and also whilst he's talking he's incapable of focusing on anything else. He drops things all the time, forgets things and misses stuff because he's never listening. Some of his topics are really inappropriate as well.

I'm on my own with my boys most of the time and I really don't know how to handle this. When he forgets stuff he'll always say "why didn't you remind me?" and it's like "I did but you weren't listening to me".

Does anyone know what I can do about this. He's actually a lovely child underneath all the talking but I'm struggling to access this and I'm worried it will affect my younger child too.

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TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Sun 05-Jul-20 21:36:55

I think some dc are more talkative than others.

Ds never shut up. He’s 26 now and quite quiet!!! He’s got absolutely millions of friends though. He struggles to manage/see them all. So maybe your ds will be like this?

Lovingyou Sun 05-Jul-20 22:30:22

I don't know. It would be nice if he was like this. Today was exceptional though. Trying to get back from a friend's house this afternoon I got a bit lost and when I asked him to put the satnav on he didn't do it - not because he didn't know how but because he was "busy talking".

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Bluewavescrashing Sun 05-Jul-20 22:32:46

Could you hide the ipad until he's dressed and had his breakfast?

Steer him towards making videos of his ramblings to give you a break from the monologues?

I tell my DS to talk to the rabbit if he goes on too long. He does it grin

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Sun 05-Jul-20 22:36:18

What does he talk about so much?
I think I would tell him to be quiet in all honesty. Sound harsh but that would drive me off my nut.

theproblemwitheyes Sun 05-Jul-20 23:38:27

Do you tell him to be quiet ever? What do you mean by inappropriate?

anameIcallmyself Mon 06-Jul-20 00:01:25

Your son is showing signs of ADHD. Please get him a diagnosis. I have ADHD. Diagnosed as an adult. I wish I'd been diagnosed as a child. Proper treatment will help help him immensely.

Guineapigbridge Mon 06-Jul-20 01:56:52

In the morning can you hide the ipad until he's in uniform, shoes on, bag and lunchbox ready and waiting in the car? It's a good incentive for him to get everything done. If he forgets something, that's on him.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Mon 06-Jul-20 12:48:21

I also used to say random words in the pauses like ‘hmm’ or ‘yeah’.

It worked for him but not dd, who would accuse me of not listening properly,,, which l wasnt😂

longhaulstress Mon 06-Jul-20 12:52:04

He sounds a lot like my 11 year old son who got diagnosed with ADHD last year. It was something I really had to push for though as it was more ADD and the teachers won't suggest anything.

Lovingyou Mon 06-Jul-20 22:03:03

When I say inappropriate I mean anything that he has read about that day he will be obsessed with he recently read about the BLM movement and now he's obsessed by it and talks about it pretty much all the time. What he learns about in sex ed is also a problem. Nothing he says is itself that bad but because he's 11 and naive I worry he'll say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get into trouble.

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Lovingyou Mon 06-Jul-20 22:04:42

I have always wondered if he is on the spectrum for something. He's due to start secondary in September so it might be a bit late for this year.

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petermaysawthefuture Mon 06-Jul-20 22:08:45

Sounds like my DS too. Didn't speak till he was nearly 4 and hasn't stopped since. Diagnosed with asd at 8. He has no filter at all so will talk about absolutely anything with no embarrassment at all. Which sometimes I think is great but sometimes I'm cringing!

Lovingyou Mon 06-Jul-20 22:09:51

I do tell him to stop and be quiet. It's quite ineffective at the moment and I think my frustration with him is showing more because I'm struggling.

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petermaysawthefuture Mon 06-Jul-20 22:21:21

It's the not getting a break from it that's hard. Obviously in normal times they're at school all day.

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