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child development and the concept of "Leaving Home"

(8 Posts)
YinuCeatleAyru Thu 02-Jul-20 22:30:44

obviously a very little child thinks of their situation living with their parents as the only natural state of affairs, and considers it very much permanent. I don't think its unusual for a small child to plan that they will marry one or other of their parents when they are old enough.

obviously an older teenager is usually beginning to feel the constraints and annoyances of having to live with their parents, and only puts up with the oppression because of the free taxi, laundry and catering service, but is very much open to the idea of one day being capable of being independent.

what I don't know is what the "normal" transition between those states looks like? at what age would a child start to change their feelings from one to the other, and are there "half way" points in the development between these states?

DS age 10 isn't neurotypical so "normal" doesn't apply to him anyway but I don't know to what extent his current feelings are totally to be expected for his age whatever. DH mentioned the idea that when DS is grown up he will leave home, just in passing while talking of something else. it seems to have deeply traumatised DS to have such a concept mentioned.

OP’s posts: |
Randomfires Thu 02-Jul-20 22:35:16

My 5 year old talks about when ‘she leaves home and gets married (don’t worry I tell her that’s not the only reason to leave home). Then sometimes she asks if she can live with me forever (Um yes!)

jerometheturnipking Thu 02-Jul-20 22:39:08

DS is 7 and talks about "When I am 30 and have a wife that I live with, I'll have my own Switch with Crash Bandicoot that I won't have to share."

So the concept of not leaving home is there, but still a very childlike context for it! DD (5) then usually chimes in saying "It's ok if Dbro moves out when he's a grown up because I'll live with you forever even when I'm a big lady and you're an old lady."

AIMD Thu 02-Jul-20 22:46:47

My 6 year old still talks about living at home or if I mention about him possibly wanting to live somewhere else as an adult he talks about living next door to me.

My son is a sensitive child and I could well imagine him still talking about living at home as an adult when he is 10.

Fortyfifty Thu 02-Jul-20 22:54:02

My 17 year old has had one foot out the door for the past year and my not very mature 14 year old still maintains she will live with us until she is 32! At 10 I think it would have caused her angst of weed talked to firnly about a future time when she won't live with us. Your son sounds typical in that respect.

RandomMess Thu 02-Jul-20 22:57:29

I think it's from the start of the teens years but personality plays a big part.

RandomMess Thu 02-Jul-20 22:57:43

I think it's from the start of the teens years but personality plays a big part.

FortniteBoysMum Fri 03-Jul-20 23:28:01

My youngest is 10 with ASD being honest I'm not sure when he will leave home as I don't know how he will cope based on his current situation. When we have mentioned it in the past his said his living with me forever and that he will buy the house next door and knock through. Each child is different there is no normal for this.

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