Clingy children

[Elly88]

So I currently have an 18month old and am due our second baby in 3 months time. My DS is very clingy, he always has been as I've always been his sole carer while DH worked. We also don't have any family that help with childcare. We were in a good routine where he'd go to nursery 2 afternoons a week and spend all Sunday with DH while I worked, however since the whole lock down scenario and being home full time, his clingyness has regressed. This doesn't particularly bother me, I figure he's still young and it's only natural, and must mean I'm doing a good job of being there for him! However, my MIL sees it as a bad thing and says it 'needs nipping in the bud'. What are people's thoughts on this? Has anyone experience similar? Any advice?

[theproblemwitheyes]

Its not a bad thing in and of itself, but if it keeps going he'll likely find the baby very upsetting. If i were you I'd go back to your normal routine, send him back to nursery and have your DH look after him more.

[milcmxxx]

Your MIL is talking shit. The fact that he is very clingy with you means he has formed a secure attachment bond with you and he trusts you, you meet his needs, and he looks to you for comfort.when you leave the room he is unsure if you will ever return. The best you can do is to tell him when you’re going to leave, say goodbye, and he will probably cry for a minute and then he will be fine. When you return you should just say something like ‘see, mummy will always come back!’ And give him a cuddle. I hate it when people say kids shouldnt be that clingy with their mothers/fathers!!! They literally rely on you and they are tiny they need you, my MIL is similar 🙄 times have changed!!! If she says something just be like well he’s only 18 months - he needs his mother still it’s perfectly healthy. Good luck 💗

[SnowdropFox]

Urgh tell MIL where to go. It's normal and speaking for myself and my mum friends weve all seen our LOs become extra clingy to one parent during covid. Usually the mum. I think it's because our routines all revolve around a very small family unit and seeing little to no strangers or family for months. As things ease and things like nursery start back up here I'm hoping the clingyness will subside a bit.

[Elly88]

Thank you both.
@theproblemwitheyes that isn't possible as I'm pregnant so not allowed back to work, remaining furloughed, so can't afford nursery, plus they are still only taking key workers children anyway which I am not.

[theproblemwitheyes]

Id still be trying to make sure he gets good time away from you every day, and at the weekend. He needs to get used to a bit of distance before the baby arrives or it could be brutal.

Just to be clear, there's nothing wrong with him, or with him being clingy. If you weren't pregnant it wouldnt be an issue at all, but with a new baby on the way you need to start getting him used to not being your complete focus 24/7.

[minipie]

18 months is classic regression time when they want you all the time including half the night in some cases

He may well grow out of it naturally, and trying to forcibly separate him isn’t likely to help anyway. I would try to keep up a habit of him spending time just with DH, so it’s not such a huge change when the baby comes.