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Worrying about my husband going back to work

(7 Posts)
Rosebel Tue 30-Jun-20 14:31:33

Did anyone else feel sad and slightly terrified when their partner went back to work after paternity leave? My husband has been off since March and has just had 2weeks paternity leave but he's back at work Monday.
I've done the baby stage with my older two with my husband working but that was different. Obviously this time I won't have friends or family round to help. Virtual support is not the same.
My baby wakes every 3 hours and at the moment one of us does the night and the other does the morning but my husband does a lot of driving so I can't expect him to help out when he's working. My older girls are at home, although they're not that young, they still need support with home learning.
Just feel exhausted at the thought and I'm scared of having 3 children on my own all day, every day. Just need some assurance I'll be able to do this on about 3 hours sleep (if I'm lucky). How are you coping without any outside support?

OP’s posts: |
mindutopia Tue 30-Jun-20 14:50:34

Could your dh help you get more sleep? Even with my 2nd one, I went to bed at like 7pm. I assume your older ones are old enough to bath and put themselves to bed, if needed. I would hand dh the baby and go to sleep. I'd sleep until 1am with one wake up for a feed. Then I'd take over for the rest of the night. You both can cope with 5 hours of sleep a night. Mine was slightly more interrupted, but starting earlier meant I ultimately got more sleep. And dh was fine sleeping 1-6/7am and getting a solid block of sleep. It really made a big difference over just me being exhausted every day.

user1493413286 Tue 30-Jun-20 14:57:01

I had a baby at the end of feb and my DH was furloughed just as he was due to go back to work. He started back at the beginning of June and I was nervous as we’ve also got a toddler and I was used to having his help. The tiredness is hard but I’ve started going to bed at 9ish not long after the baby and that really helps and I’ve got myself into a bit of a routine and it’s been much better than I thought it would be.

Rosebel Tue 30-Jun-20 19:47:52

I think I'll have to try and go to bed early but my husband is usually asleep by 10 which is fine because he's up early. With my second it was okay as he was doing an office based job so didn't matter if he was a bit tired. Now he's driving a lot I'd worry about him being tired and falling asleep at the wheel.
My other two are old enough to sort themselves out at bedtime so that's fine.
I think a routine is a good idea so I'll try that. I will probably be okay and find the thought worse than the reality. That's what I'm hoping anyway.

OP’s posts: |
user1493413286 Tue 30-Jun-20 20:07:46

The thought is definitely worse than the reality; you do get through it and at some point your baby will start sleeping longer.

Whatshername20 Wed 01-Jul-20 09:30:16

The thought is absolutely the worst. I had my first at end of Feb and DP got no paternity as he started a new job so we had a couple of days together and then I was alone, just as the 'blues' were hitting. I felt horrendous and cried all the time.
What helped me was just having to be thrown into it. There was no other option than for me to do it so I built my confidence that way and haven't had anyone else. Definitely try and get yourself into a routine and shelve everything house wise that isn't essential, just focus on meeting your children's daily needs. Give yourself little pep talks if needed to realise how well you're actually doing. Take as much sleep as you can whether that be in the day or going off earlier on a night.

Rosebel Thu 02-Jul-20 22:07:25

Think the tiredness is what's worrying me. Last night I got no sleep as my baby some up at 1 for a feed then didn't go back to sleep until.10 in the morning. Couldn't go back to bed as it my daughter's birthday. My husband took over for most of the day and is doing the night feeds tonight but I just keep thinking how am I going to do it next week? If I have more than 2,bad nights I'll struggle.
I know I can sleep in the day (maybe ) but my middle daughter needs support with her home learning.
In some ways I don't want Monday to come but in another way I do just so I can see how I cope. Can I ask how,you've found the lack of real life support? We've seen grandparents in the garden but it's not the same.

OP’s posts: |

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