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When did you put baby to bed before you?

(46 Posts)
countdowntobaby2020 Tue 30-Jun-20 11:09:59

Baby is only three weeks old but thinking ahead a bit here and looking for some advice/experiences/opinions...

I know the guidance is baby sleeps in our room until six months and we've got him in a next to me crib in the bedroom.
The evening goes one of two ways at the minute. We bath, change and feed at around 6.30 and then try to settle him downstairs (we have a rocker/crib that he sleeps in during the day) Either he settles quickly and then we eat and relax a bit downstairs before moving him up when we go to bed. Or other times he just won't settle and we take it in turns to eat and then I admit defeat and go upstairs with him about 8 and lay on the bed as he sleeps (quite often falling asleep myself haha) The thing I've noticed is that he always settles really quickly in the bedroom compared to the living room. So ideally it would be good to do the bath, bottle and settle straight in to the crib but at the moment this means me going up to bed for 7pm (which although I'd happily sleep from 7 at this point it would be nice to eat and see my husband too!) We have got a video monitor with breathing sensor etc and I thought about working towards settling him upstairs and having that on whilst we sat downstairs. Being a first time mum and not wanting to do the wrong thing or break any rules haha I've frantically googled this and couldn't find a definitive answer so I asked the health visitor at our appointment this morning and her response was "official guidance is that they are in the same room as you at all times until six months but it's up to you what you do with that." So now I'm even more confused! Do I go up to bed at 7 with baby for next 6 months? Do I use a video monitor? Do we persevere with attempting to settle downstairs and then move up? Interested to hear what others did from a confused first time mum! smile

OP’s posts: |
ArtichokeAardvark Tue 30-Jun-20 11:16:30

I put both my babies upstairs to bed from around 3 weeks old. I moved them into their own bedroom from 3 months. Assuming that your son is a normal healthy baby, he will be absolutely fine. A good video monitor is very useful though as then you can see that his breathing is regular etc.

theproblemwitheyes Tue 30-Jun-20 11:18:45

We started putting DD to bed by herself (in our room, with the monitor) from about 3m. 3 weeks i would say is far too little to be by themselves at all for more than a few minutes.

Oly4 Tue 30-Jun-20 11:20:21

Between four and six months. Am amazed your three week old settles in the early evening anywhere!

MeadowHay Tue 30-Jun-20 11:21:11

Not until she was about 6/7 months old when she started to go down for the night reliably around 9pm. And then we were usually in bed ourselves around 10 anyway! We couldn't have done it earlier as she didn't go down for the night before us until that age anyway, but we wouldn't have anyway due to SIDS guidance.

treehousethunderstorm Tue 30-Jun-20 11:21:36

Hi, we started putting DD to bed before us at maybe six weeks or so. I don't remember exactly but she stopped settling to sleep downstairs and preferred a dark, quiet room. We had a video monitor on the edge of the cot/moses basket.
I think it would be about 6-6.30, she'd have a bath, and feed, and then I'd feed her again at 10pm when I went to bed. She was premature though, and I had to feed her every four hours even if it meant waking her up. This might have made a difference to what age she was when this started as well.

Anyway, we started that routine soon after she started to grumble all evening downstairs with us.

needliferaft Tue 30-Jun-20 11:22:43

I have a six week old, hope you're feeling well and enjoying your newborn.

To be honest not many people I know last the full six months of having babies in the room. My SIL lasted two weeks, I lasted 6 weeks with my daughter, she's just gone into her own room. Babies are such noisy sleepers I could never get a decent few hours with her next to me. I cracked and now have the baby monitor.

All the reading I have done suggests putting them to bed in the same place you want them to wake up. We do that before we go to bed and we try and let her drift off on her own, sometimes she manages sometimes she needs comfort or a bit more milk.

stellabelle Tue 30-Jun-20 11:25:48

About 6 weeks - I did that with both of mine. Bath, bottle and bed , never had any problems. You've got a moniter -- no need for you to be there in person as well.

timeforawine Tue 30-Jun-20 11:31:23

About 10 days old. Cot was in our bedroom, we had the video monitor pointed at her so we could always see and hear her.
She napped downstairs in a rocker bed, took her up to bed at 7. She's nearly 4 now and still goes up at 7 ish

doadeer Tue 30-Jun-20 12:00:14

Not till after 6months for us. I liked having my son in our room where I could see him. We would just lie him on the sofa in lounge on sleepy head when we ate. I would go to bed about 9 and my partner would have some time with our son and bring him through when he needed next feed, usually 11.30ish. And from then he was in our room

newmum234 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:07:54

The NHS advises that it’s safest to have baby sleeping in the same room as you for the first six months to guard against SIDS. I don’t think a baby monitor can help prevent SIDS can it?

Caspianberg Tue 30-Jun-20 12:09:24

Baby is 9 weeks here. We just don't start bedtime until later.

If he is tired at 6-7pm he naps downstairs, in bouncer if we are making dinner etc.. That way we have no expectations of trying to get him to sleep and eat at the same time.

We take him up and start bedtime more like 9pm, with the aim we can all go to sleep together by 10pm. He gets washed, changed, into sleeping bag, has a play in the middle of our bed whilst we get ready for bed, then i get into bed and feed him. He either falls asleep being fed, or the other half the time he can be put into bedside crib half awake and falls asleep himself while I read.

So basically daytime here is 7-8am when he wakes, until 9-10pm when he goes to bed. Overnight room is dark and he sleeps well, usually waking just once now around 3am.
Anytime daytime he naps in light room and wherever is convenient. Pram, bouncer, on me, occasionally on bed if i want a rest also, sling.

Lockdownseperation Tue 30-Jun-20 12:11:35

DD1 6 months
DD2 10 months

My DH older brother died as a baby, not from SIDS but that may make me more determined to not risk my baby’s life.

DappledThings Tue 30-Jun-20 12:21:50

Stayed in our room till 6 months and 8 months. But both were in there on their own for a couple of hours from about 4 months. They both wanted to sleep in the early evening by then and they had no other risk factors for SIDS. It was a calculated risk.

glasgowgal6 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:21:58

My baby is also nine weeks @Caspianberg and we have pretty much an identical approach to you. When do you plan on trying to start bedtime earlier than 9pm?

Fudgewhizz Tue 30-Jun-20 12:31:53

Isn't being in the same room to do with oxygen exchange or something, as well as being able to see them? We kept DD with us til 6m and will do the same with DS.

happymummy12345 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:33:58

We only ever let our baby sleep upstairs day and night. We always had a video monitor and checked on him regularly. I never saw the need or point of them sleeping downstairs at all. So I didn't ever bother.

mindutopia Tue 30-Jun-20 12:36:57

From around 3-4 months. I'm not even sure 6 months was the guidance when mine were babies. I think I remember it being 3 months. But by that time, I needed a bit of an evening again. No way they would have slept downstairs. And I'd been going to bed at 7/8pm since birth (they would stay downstairs with dh while I slept). I needed to have an hour somewhere to sit down and eat my dinner not in a hurry and decompress. I felt comfortable with our sleeping arrangements otherwise and I don't think me being asleep in the same room would have made any difference to me being awake and actually listening for them downstairs.

Napqueen1234 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:37:38

My DDs were both in my room in until 5/6 months but went up to bed as it were from 6 weeks (lucky to have not fussy evening babies). Obviously we still have night wakings and a late evening feed for a long while (still going at 7 months 🥴) but it got the day/night pattern going and me and DH had our evenings back. We used a video monitor and it was fine. I don’t think it’s practical to have a baby sleeping with you every time for 6 months- they also always napped upstairs in their cot when home with the video monitor which I pottered around watched tv and ate chocolate . You need to assess what you feel is safe and workable but most people aren’t with their babies 24/7 until 6 months and those that are it’s often to the detriment of their MH!

Aworldofmyown Tue 30-Jun-20 12:38:06

tbh i wouldn't try making plans of any sort at three weeks! Just go with the flow you will find you go three steps forward two steps back.

Napqueen1234 Tue 30-Jun-20 12:40:38

@newmum234 I think that’s the case with babies a few weeks old but my babies once 4 months + would never have settled downstairs. They’re little people and in a lightish environment with us talking/watching tv/eating dinner they would have been disturbed all evening. Sleep is so important I found putting them in a dark quiet environment really helpful and the risks when safely put down for SIDS are minuscule.

Wallywobbles Tue 30-Jun-20 12:40:39

We did bath, boob/bottle, bed in the evening. Bath tired them out and they all had their longest sleep in the evening after the birth.

All sleeping was done in cot though not downstairs. If they rubbed their eyes or yawned they were in bed in the next couple of minutes.

Alarae Tue 30-Jun-20 12:46:22

My DD is 4 months tomorrow and has been in the next to me in our room since we took her home.

We have a Sleepyhead which she naps in downstairs during the day and sleeps in at night in her cot. She will tend to go for her long sleep at night from 7pm downstairs, then after we've eaten and had some time to chill we take her upstairs (in the Sleepyhead) around 9:30pm.

She will tend to wake up around 3:30am for her night feed, then goes back to sleep upstairs until 7-8am when the day starts all over again.

We have bought her cot so I'm toying with the idea of transitioning her to it for naps and then will keep the Sleepyhead for overnight stays away to see family.

Strawberrywaffles Tue 30-Jun-20 13:15:41

We gave up until around 11 months when Dd started sleeping through as I would just constantly take her into my bed anyway. If I did it again I would do bath and quiet time probably starting around 6 months as looking back DD was very overstimulated all the time.

Are you breastfeeding? If so I would say don’t worry about any of it yet. Especially with the 4 month regression coming. Although a couple of friends I know who bottle fed seemed to get the routine and long stretches of sleep quite early on so I think it does depend.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Tue 30-Jun-20 13:16:42

About 8weeks. Our bedroom was just off the living room. We kept the doors open, then I followed about 9pm.

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