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How many evenings out do you and your partner get? Pre lockdown

(30 Posts)
SS1987 Tue 30-Jun-20 07:08:28

We have a 2 year old daughter and we’ve managed around 5 nights out where she has stayed in grandparents houses and maybe another 5 or 6 where she has been babysat in our house and have had an evening out until around 11pm. I think that’s great considering her age and feel lucky we have that help. Husband wishes we could have an extra night or two out for a meal/show. Just wondering what others situation is?

OP’s posts: |
Imicola Tue 30-Jun-20 07:10:52

We had 2 at grandparents house, and maybe 6 or 7 at home. She's 20 months. We were planning a weekend away for our anniversary, but that's not possible now 😢

user1493413286 Tue 30-Jun-20 07:15:15

It sounds like you’ve done pretty well; I have a 3 year old and we’ve managed a long weekend away for a child free wedding, another 2 nights away for a big birthday, about 2 meals out and maybe 3/4 one night stays although 2 of those were when we moved house. My DH probably wishes we had more but we don’t really have anyone on the doorstep to babysit so it always involves an overnight stay which takes tome and organisation and didn’t happen until DD was well over 1.

FirstClassFlightHome Tue 30-Jun-20 07:16:17

We have not been out on a date since 2013, so 7 years. We just can't afford it sad.

BendingSpoons Tue 30-Jun-20 07:17:02

We have a 4 yo and a 1 yo. 4 yo has stayed at grandparents twice (before 1 yo was born). She didn't like it much so we didn't push it. Before DC2 was born we probably had an evening out together every 3 months or so. We went out separately with friends a bit more. Since DC2 was born we have had I think 1 evening out, although when lockdown started we were planning a bit more. My parents now live locally and now DC2 actually sleeps ok, we would probably aim for maybe 6 times a year but home by 10/10.30. Probably only once a year for later/overnight.

Emeeno1 Tue 30-Jun-20 07:17:11

One. In five years. But then we are both stay-at-homes.

Angelonia Tue 30-Jun-20 07:27:50

You'll get a whole range of answers OP, the important bit is finding a balance that works for you as a family. Is there a problem with your DH organising the night out that he'd like?

pannikin Tue 30-Jun-20 07:40:59

Me and my partner get every other weekend child-free as my son (7) goes to his dads EOW

ParkheadParadise Tue 30-Jun-20 07:56:07

Dd has stayed overnight 1 night a week with grandparents from birth. She also stays with my niece at the weekend sometimes. We do have a teenage neighbour who is happy to babysit and lots of family near by.
Last year we had several weekends and a couple of 5day holidays away.

HelloRose Tue 30-Jun-20 08:13:43

We don't have family nearby so we've only had dinner out twice since ds born when MIL came to stay. He's 1yr.
Now he's weaned & no longer bf, we're planning a few nice lunches where he can be looked after by relatives and hopefully we can even have a night away (when everything is open again).

BaronessBomburst Tue 30-Jun-20 08:18:18

Three nights out and DS is 10.
No family nearby and no suitable babysitters. We just take him with us.

winniesanderson Tue 30-Jun-20 08:20:56

We have a 2 year old and she's never been looked after over night. We've had the odd meal out maybe twice. Plus my mum will come and sit with the children while I have driving lessons. I also have an older child who had lots of sleepovers, at least once a month, at my mums from a pretty early age. I was a single parent and didn't go anywhere but really appreciated the down time. My mum would love to have my youngest, but her circumstances have changed which makes it tricky, plus my youngest is a very different child, especially by night 😂

Saladd0dger Tue 30-Jun-20 08:25:05

When I had 2 DC my parents were happy to have them over night when ever I wanted to do something. Now I have 3 DC I haven’t asked as they can’t fit 3 DC in their house Overnight. Youngest is 4 now. Probably been out for 7/8 meals since. Mum dropped hints to DD4 last week about a sleepover at nanny’s soon. So maybe when corona is over we can go out out and 1 DC can stay at other nanny’s smile

notheragain4 Tue 30-Jun-20 08:30:29

We've always tried to go out once a month. We didn't live near family (do now) but I have the best mum in the world who helped us a lot. We have dinner reservations for next week!

SallyCinnamon3009 Tue 30-Jun-20 08:32:34

2.5 year old he's stopped out twice. Last time we went somewhere on our own on a night was April 2019. Sounds like you've done really well

IndieRo Tue 30-Jun-20 08:37:20

Last time hubby and I were out on our own was New Year's Eve 2018. I had just recovered from major surgery and my mother minded them in her house. It can be a bit upsetting when friends and other family members get lots of time together and seem to have no problem getting a sitter. My children are getting older now so in another couple of years they can mind themselves for a couple of hours. smile

ReturnofSaturn Tue 30-Jun-20 08:37:21

Zero. We have had one ages ago where we resorted to using sitters.com.
Cost a fortune and was a disaster.

CMOTDibbler Tue 30-Jun-20 08:39:48

Until ds was 12 and started going to PGL (though we book that for childcare cover when I'm travelling in school holidays), we'd had 2 nights without him. No family have him, and his friends don't do sleepovers. We pay a babysitter, but thats super expensive overnight

LisaSimpsonsbff Tue 30-Jun-20 08:46:16

We were going to have our first ever evening out just the two of us in March, as DS (nearly two, so then 20 months) was going to have his first sleepover with PIL. Unfortunately, that day turned out to be the first day of the lockdown so we're still waiting for our first date! Grandparents do have him for a day's childcare during the week while we work, though, which means that although I know they would I don't feel comfortable then asking them to have him at the weekend too.

pumpkinpie01 Tue 30-Jun-20 08:52:15

My ds probably stays with grandparents once every 3 months overnight. But I have older dc so we do try and go out for a midweek meal just the 2 of us once a month if we can afford it. Wouldn't expect them to babysit at the weekend.

Wtfdidwedo Tue 30-Jun-20 08:59:53

We have a 2 and a 3 year old, we've had one night away and about three evening meals together.

Abouttimemum Tue 30-Jun-20 09:40:01

DS is 15 months and he’s stayed out overnight once in January at his grandparents - we were hoping this was the start of an every other month thing and then lockdown started!
Prior to lockdown he’d be babysat by my parents in our house each month. We usually go to the cinema as that’s our preference - not bothered about drinking.
I haven’t really missed it during lockdown but it’s be nice to get some time alone with DH that isn’t in our house!!

mindutopia Tue 30-Jun-20 10:49:59

In recent years, none. We don't have any family help and because of my work schedule, bedtimes are later than they used to be, so it's quite a lot to ask a babysitter to put to kids to bed herself. Before that, I was bf youngest. But way way a long time ago, when we only used to have 1 dc and a babysitter was easier to arrange, we used to have one night out per month. Now we mostly have nights out separately so the other can be home with dc.

mindutopia Tue 30-Jun-20 10:51:24

I think once a month is great if you have grandparents who are able to stay with them, or have a babysitter. If I had that on tap, I'd definitely be taking full advantage of it.

KatnissK Tue 30-Jun-20 11:05:34

Together? 0. Individually, probably once or twice a month to see our own friends. Family live about an hour away so asking them to babysit for a couple of hours is quite tricky logistically. We have a 3yo and 8mo. I don't really mind though. I knew this would be the case when we had children and it won't last forever!

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