Feeding newborn advice

[JKDcot]

Hi guys

I am finding night time breast feeding relentless. My 3 week old feeds every 2-3 hours for 20-30 mins. It takes me 30-60 mins after feeding to nappy change and settle him to sleep. Then I try and sleep but the mat F s didn’t really work out and I’m awake again for the next feed.

Day times is ok but night times I feel broken. No point waking husband as I have to be the one to feed and he’s back to work so boo use being tired.

Any words of wisdom or advice? When do the feeding windows get bigger? Why can’t I settle him faster? He just seems so alert at night and harder to settle

Thanks

[glasshalfsomething]

Is the nappy change necessary every time? Try skipping it every second feed and see if that helps with quicker settling.

Any way of feeding to sleep at all to save settling time?

Can your DP do the feeds between 9pm and 1am to give you a few hours unbroken sleep? Or 5am onwards?

[amymel2016]

This sounds about right OP unfortunately, I would only change his nappy if he’d done a poo or if it was really wet. That may be waking him more than needed. How do you feel about co-sleeping? If you did that then you could drift back off as he is. If you’re not happy to do it then could your husband settle him whilst you sleep?

The gaps do get bigger and this is for a relatively short time. I’m currently up feeding my 2nd (5 week old) so feel your pain. You’re doing a brilliant job!

[JKDcot]

Thanks for your replies. Is so nice to know I’m not the only one awake. Maybe I don’t need to change his nappy every time. It’s just if he wont settle I think it might help?

He is sleepy after feeding but then wakes himself up with hiccups or something...! I can’t seem to move him from feeding to a sleeping place - bed, sleepyhead, next to me crib (I have them all...!). Feeling frustrated as he is over tired and I am exhausted

[Ginfilledcats]

2-3 hours is really good. My 18 day old Dd wakes 1hr and a half after I started the last feed without fail. Feed between 10-20 mins. I do nappy first as she often falls asleep on the boob x

[Loukifre]

Do the nappy change before the feed. Otherwise they'll get nice and sleepy from milk then you'll just wake them up again.

Also, Yes don't worry about a nappy change every time. I was the same, used to be so over the top with nappy changes every time i saw a blue line on the nappy. But newborn babies wee small amounts and often so you just end up getting through so many! Obvs if it's a poo change instantly.

The 3 hours is normal with a 3 week old. I was the same with not wanting to bother partner as breastfeeding so didn't see the point. But if you're tired, do the feed and if they won't settle straight after, wake him up to take over and get some sleep!

Mine was the same as yours, 20 min feed then up to an hour to resettle. She is now 13 weeks and sleeps 6 hours 10pm till 4am regularly. She drinks for 10 mins, falls asleep. I hold her upright for 10 mins, then pop her back with no probs. It gets easier, hang in there!

[IDontLikeMondays88]

I have a 3 week old too.

Is it worth trying always putting him down in same place? Rather than one of the options you’ve mentioned. Mine now seems to “get” that crib for sleeping and will drop off when put down there with low lighting, swaddling, white noise and rocking. I always put him down in crib though not a sleepyhead or in bed.

However I really think newborns only sleep when they want to! 😱

[Minesril]

I'd only change the nappy for a poo, nappies can hold a lot of liquid. My DS is very windy after feeding so i hold him on me for half an hour street feeding, then he goes back into his crib easily. But he only feeds for ten minutes which makes things easier. Could you do a shorter feeding time?

[Minesril]

After feeding!

[aimzxd]

My DS didnt know night from day at this age. He did learn maybe about 6 weeks.

[fool11]

Unfortunately some babies don't sleep..my SIL has a boy 5w older than my DD and he slept 10h from 6w old..my little one would sleep for 30min exactly and would wake up - i've tried everything. I would BF for 20min, had to hold her up for 20min because she had a reflux, then she would sleep for 30 and the whole cycle would start again..BF on demand was a killer, fed her like 18x a day..i don't know how we managed..when she was 2m introduced a formula as well, for a night feed as i couldn't cope anymore, I didn't have enough milk and she was constantly hungry. Formula at night time helped. She is 5y now and still does't like to sleep..every night she asks why she has to go to sleep, tells me she has lots of energy, she just wants a 'short sleep' etc..she just does't like to sleep and is up very early every day. We just accepted it and got used to it, it made my life easier. Every baby is different..i was obsessed with putting her to her cot after feed, get her used to some routine etc as many other mums kept telling me what i'm doing wrong or should try, nothing worked ...if you can after feeding just let him sleep next to you, so you can get some sleep too, for your sanity. Good luck.

[Somethingsnappy]

OP, can you feed your baby lying down on your side, with the arm you're lying on stretched out above baby's head. If you fall asleep whilst feeding in this position, it is perfectly safe, as the arm will prevent you rolling towards baby. This position is very restful and helps you get more rest/sleep in the early breastfeeding days. This is how I managed with all mine. And as PPs have said, you don't necessarily need to change the nappy unless it's dirty.

[JKDcot]

Thank you all for your advice. Really appreciate it. He naps so well during the day so I am just going to try and get sleep when he does for now and try not to get stressed during the night times. I know they can’t differentiate yet and he’s so young. Day by day...

[lifesnotaspectatorsport]

It's interesting you say he naps very well in the day. If I were you I would work on getting some longer wake times in the day - so after a feed try to walk him round, sing or talk to him to keep him awake a little bit. Differentiate day and night, keep the room dark for sleeping so he can begin to build that association. Agree with pp, at night check nappy on waking and change only if necessary before the feed.

[JKDcot]

Hi all

I’m really upset as I’m still the one taking the baby 11/12pm-6/7 am into the spare room to let my husband sleep as he is working.

This morning he tells me he’s had such a bad nights sleep and feels so tired. Erm. I was up for a feed at 12,2,4,6 and each time for 30-45 mins. I can’t be arsed to calculate how much sleep I got. He had 7 hours alone in a quiet room?? I feel he’s so insensitive to complain.

I am considering expressing and asking him to do one night himself with bottles just to get some perspective. Is that wrong??

[theproblemwitheyes]

No, that's not wrong at all! Tell him it's important to get the baby used to a bottle (trust me, it really is) and get him to do the night shift on Friday and Saturday when he doesnt work the next day.

Tbh when DD was that small, DH got up with me most times to help with nappy/settling. And he was teaching full time too.

[LiveFatsDieYoGnu]

Not cool from your husband! At that age DS was pooing at every feed and my husband did ALL the nappy changes so I could get as much sleep in as possible before the next feed. He was working full time, he coped! Your husband needs to pull his weight.

[Hiphopopotamus]

We try and tag team the nights here with our 6 week old - so I’m having to do the feeding because I’m breastfeeding. If DD settles straight to sleep after a feed then that’s fine, but if she won’t settle I pass her to my husband to settle her while I go back to sleep. It’s working for us. We also have my husband do the first night feed with a bottle (currently formula but we’re transitioning over to expressed BM) so that I come upstairs to get a headstart on sleep while he stays downstairs with DD until she needs the next feed. Just because you’re breastfeeding it doesn’t mean that your husband has to opt out of night duty completely. There are things he can do to ease the burden!

[Inthesky42]

Not good behaviour from your DH! It's his baby too. At that age my DH was doing every nappy change and holding the baby half the night so I could get some sleep (my DS had bad reflux and would not sleep on his back at all, we had to hold him on our chests the whole night) he'd then wake me up when he needed a feed and we'd switch so he could then get some sleep. It will get better and you will learn to cope on less sleep (my DS is 6 months now still wakes up 3-4 times a night for a feed!). Co sleeping can be an absolute life saver if you're feeling really sleep deprived. As other people have said only bother with nappy change if they've done a poo x