How dare she imply that my child id a bully!!!!

[GreatAuntieWurly]

Ok, got to school this morning and the new child in ds1's class came over with his mum. The mum said to me "look what your son has done to my boy", showing me an ulcer on the inside of his top lip. I asked ds what had happened and he replied "X was calling me fat while we was lining up so I pushed him" The mother jumps in saying "we've only been in this country for 3 weeks, he doesnt know what the word fat means" (i aint farking stupid love) So I asked ds to apologise to X and also said that I would be mentioning it to the teacher.

Anyway ds went in and I spoke to his teacher who said that she would speak to the 2 children together and also speak to the parent as "thats not how we do things in this school" as I knew nothing of the event until this morning. Anyway, I went to see ds who was putting his stuff in his locker and X is standing there waiting for him where the locker room is, so I made a point of walking him to his class so nothing else happened.

I'm so annoyed over this, DS is not a bully and has never had a fight in the whole time he has been at school, I think X must have annoyed his so much that he retaliated. I have walked home shaking.

[PandaG]

You have doen the right thing by bringing it to the teacher's attention. YOu must feel very shaken by it though.

[HonoriaGlossop]

Agree with Panda you did exactly the right thing to take it straight to the teacher. Hopefully the teacher has made the parent aware that she should not approach other parents in the playground but deal with it through the school.

If ever she was to approach you again with something I think you need to completely blank it - just let her know it's not appropriate for you to talk about it in the playground, she needs to tell the teacher so the teacher can help.

If anyone was acting like a bully in this whole scenario, it was the other parent for putting you on the spot like that.

[Hulababy]

Sounds like you have done the right thing in telling the teacher.

[GooseyLoosey]

Absolutely did the right thing.

From what you say, English is not X's first language. Ds and others had a lot of problems with a boy at pre-school who did not speak English well and the general conclusion was that the child was so frustrated at not being able to clearly say what he wanted that it spilled over into agression. The position improved as his English did. Not that this makes any difference to what your ds experienced, but if you think it might be the case, might be worth explaining to ds so at least he understands why this child is funny with him.

[GreatAuntieWurly]

thing is wha I have heard about X isnt very nice, he tried to strangle a girl in their class on his first day, and yesterday he told the teacher to f* off.

[seeker]

But i do think you need to make sure your ds knows that you shouldn't respond to an insult by pushing.....

[GreatAuntieWurly]

seeker, he has never had a fight, I'm not trying to paint my child as an angel cos I know he's not, he knows its wrong to fight and hit out, thats what makes me think that X must have really annoyed him that he actually retaliated. Will make a point of sitting and having a good chat with his after school.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

You did the right thing by informing the teacher.

Your DS still shouldnt push children though. It's an inappropriate and excessive response, irrespective of what this other child is like all the time.

Of course you know this.....

[HonoriaGlossop]

I agree that this other little boy will probably be finding school very hard if they've only been in the country 3 weeks. However that doesn't mean that your ds needs to put up with insults, but maybe when you have your chat with ds, ask him how he thinks he would feel if he was in a strange country and a strange school, etc; your ds can help this boy by telling you and the teacher if any further issues come up.

[Lorayn]

I think you did the right thing by a)making your son apologise and b)going to the teacher.
There can be nothing more annoying than the 'my child is an angel, yours is a little shit' parenting style of some people.

[chloesmumtoo]

God I had a simular situation the other day. My dd bumped into a friends child and cut her dd's lip. My friend was extremly quick to approach and tell me my dd apparently cut it on purpose. Shocked I said 'OH?' She never hits anyone so I was very suspicious and thats when my dd said 'it was accident'. only 5. I discovered she was not looking where she was going and bumped into her with her head, was not even playing with the girl. My friend swore blind her dd said mine done it on purpose. As if she would use her head! I was angry for the reason my dd could have been told off for it being her dd had lyed. Its all blown over but I hate it when these mums are so quick to jump down other mums throats. Now her dd is hitting mine at school so dd is told to tell the teacher and do I approach mum giving it the mouth 'no'. Causes nothing but trouble! Drives me mad.