Is second child worse than the first?

[Felicityfi16]

Hi all, I’m just interested as everyone has always said to me that my first child will be the easy one and the second will be a little monster! Was this true in your case or are people just following the crowd and saying this?

[starfish18]

We arnt risking it Hun...our little boy is 2 and he's golden apart from having the odd tantrum but I don't no what we would do if we had a 2nd child that was a devil 😂xx

[ncqtime]

First child perfectly content, smart etc. Second a clingy grumbler.
Few years down the line and dc1 is the nuisance while dc2 is far more considerate.

[FrugiFan]

My second child has been much easier so far but she is only 3 months old so there is time for this to change!

[userabcname]

Nope! Dc1 is a terrible sleeper, fussy, velcro baby, stubborn and very hard work. Ds2 is peaceful, content, sleeps well - genuinely thought he was ill when we brought him home from the hospital but apparently newborns are supposed to sleep a lot! Who knew?!

[Sevo7]

Not in my case. Ds my first was an easy baby until 10 months and then seemed to hit the terrible twos a year early which lasted until he was at least 6. Sometimes from the moment he woke up til he went to sleep would be one tantrum after another, day after day. He honestly nearly broke me. He’s very easy and perfectly lovely now he’s older though!

DD was slightly higher needs in that she wanted to constantly be attached to me but has always been very pleasant and easy. She’s 19 months now and if she does tantrum it’s for about 5 seconds and very rare. Maybe ask me again in a few years though

[BananaSpanner]

1st baby was a nightmare newborn. 2nd baby was v poorly at birth but v easy once home from hospital.

They now are different characters (5 and 8) who pose challenges in different ways so neither is easier than the other.

[Shinebright72]

I think this is true OP just not necessarily always in that order.

[nannyplumsmagranny]

I can categorically confirm this is true.

[CottonSock]

My first wasn't easy as a baby (reflux etc) but her sister is stubborn, opinionated, fussy and always right. We could tell from a few weeks old . However, she's also very beautiful, smart and funny.

[TheBabyAteMyBrain]

If the child has no additional needs then, no, the second isn't worse. What is hard for parents is the transition from one child to two. Splitting attention and attending different needs.

As it happens my first has additional needs and he was and still is much 'harder' than my second. I'm grateful I had them close together as we can generally match their needs better in the early years, for the rest of it, we'll all grow and learn together.

[sunflowersandtulips50]

I am not sure as with my first it was overwhelming, i struggled a little but times were different and I had to get back to work when he was only 4 1/2 mths, so only BF for 3 mths. By the time the second came which was 8 yrs later it was like starting again, she had reflux, screamed and screamed and refused the bottle so 2nd was tough...number 3 and 4 were a breeze although by that stage I was used to sleeping like a lizard

[isabellerossignol]

In my case this was very very true. First child lulled me into a false sense of security, had me thinking that I knew how to parent. Second child soon showed me I was clueless.

[Raffaroo]

My first was laid back, calm and easy going but not very independent and quite sensitive and shy whereas my second is loud, boisterous, very confident and fearless but clingy.

For us I do think that a lot of it could be down to the difference in how our parenting style changed over the years as there's a 7 year age gap and my second had health issues when he was born so I never put him down which is why I think he's clingy but also the fact that he has an older brother to fight with and boss round.

Saying that though I'm a second child and am much more high maintenance than my sister!

[olivo]

Nope, my second child is far easier. Every one of the 10 years!

[lorisparkle]

Ds1, ds2 and ds3 are all completely different and were all challenging (and easy) in different ways and at different ages. I found 'the baby whisperer' book very interesting as she described ds1 and ds3 perfectly. (Spirited and testbook) however ds2 has always been a bit random!

[Marlena1]

True in my case. Second one way more clingy/cries A LOT and will only sleep on me most nights ect (currently wondering if I can move). I think it's a huge amount of factors and chance though.

[Bluemoooon]

Second one easier in my case, third one a dream!

[nildesparandum]

I was a very smug mother with my first baby.The second one cured me of it.

[Theforest]

Not sure it's a certainty. Maybe it's just when people have an easy baby first and anything else is a shock.

Our first was a dream text book baby. Second was definitely more of handful for sure as a baby. He's lovely now though.

[Justajot]

I thought we'd used up all of our luck with DD1 and DD2 would be a real challenge. DD2 was just as easy as a baby - an absolute delight and a bit more put-downable than DD1. She is more self entertaining too. But she is a different child and one of the things I've discovered is that with 1 DC you can think you've mastered parenting, but actually you've only mastered parenting that particular child.

My DD2 isn't nearly as interested in pleasing adults as DD1. That means she does what she wants and ignores me when it suits her. It has been harder to work out what makes her tick. Some of that may be a birth order thing - she hasn't had the same adult attention as DD1.

[mindutopia]

My 2nd was much easier. It wasn't because they were my 2nd. But every baby is just different. I did exactly the same things - cosleeping, feeding to sleep, rocking, they slept in the sling, etc. The only difference was 2nd was bf and first was ff. But they just popped out an easy baby.

[Kaykay066]

Worse at what?...
Makes no sense no child is the same as a sibling. I have 4 all different, my first was strong willed and I was young, my second was a dream third similar to my first and hard work and fourth a dream until he was 4 but has additional needs so needs more time and support but all lovely kids,

[rhowton]

My second child is an absolute demon. Honestly, just the worst. My first is an angel! She's literally a pleasure.

[Bol87]

Second is only 3 months but she’s 100x easier than DD1 (thank god). DD1 had reflux, never napped, fussy, cried a lot & was hard to get a smile out of. DD2 also has reflux but we’ve got quickly on top of it & she’s not bother what so ever. You’d forget she was there. Sits & watches the world go by. Naps OK. Smiles all day long. She’s such a sunny baby! I’m enjoying the baby stage so much more this time!

Things will change I’m sure. DD1 has gone through stages of being a real delight & stages of being a horror and everywhere inbetween! Overall, she’s an easy enough child. Very independent & stubborn but funny, confident & well behaved!

[TheFormerPorpentinaScamander]

Ds2 was the easier baby and toddler (not that ds1 was difficult).
But 9-12 ish. My god. Argumentative. Stubborn. Unhelpful. Selfish. Fuck knows where he got it from (ds1 was still lovely most of the time).
Hes 13 now and genuinely delightful again, if a bit lazy ( asked him to Hoover the kitchen earlier but he didn't actually pick up anything that was on the floor, just hovered around it )