Baby is 6wks, I'm bf-ing but no routine - HELP

[Bhabs]

Hiya,

Am new to mumsnet so sorry if alredy a post similar to this??

DD is 6wks old - I'm bf-ing but have also given her the odd formula bottle a day so she is used to both.

Been difficult to have a routine so far and not really practical to have a strict routine as I'm indian and am constantly having to visit relatives etc...

DD is gaining weight steadily and is a content baby.

My problem is that there seems to be no pattern to her feeding and although I bf most of the time during the day, it sometimes seems there is not enough milk.
Would a routine help this?

Nights are okay - she wakes roughly the same times to feed and then goes back to sleep immed.

Be great to have any tips....

[BroccoliSpears]

At six weeks I was much the same. I think it's normal. They do nothing but feed and sleep! (And it feels like they do a lot more feeding than sleeping, even though you KNOW that can't be true.)

Trust your body - if your baby is healthy, gaining weight and producing lots of wet nappies then you have enough milk.

Breast milk is so specifically designed for babies that they digest it really easily and so need some more pretty soon.

[BroccoliSpears]

I should add - well done. Sounds like you're doing fab.

[evenhope]

My baby is 6 months and no sign of a routine

[edam]

Congratulations!

You and your baby are entirely normal! She doesn't yet need a routine - if you mean spacing feeds out. Some women find the odd bottle introduced very early might confuse things - suckling stimulates milk production. When she's having a growth spurt, she'll suckle more to create more milk. Obviously if she's getting a bottle for one feed, there's less stimulation. But some babies and mothers are fine with it, so don't worry too much. Night feeding is apparently the most important thing to stimulate more production, btw.

[beansprout]

They are not designed to be in a routine by this stage. At 6 weeks though, a routine may start to emerge and it sounds like it has as she is waking up at similar times during the night.

Feeding on cue is the best thing you can do for her at this stage, they are really just eating and sleeping machines but it will settle down soon.

Don't worry about the "lack" of routine, you are meeting your baby's needs. Everything will find a pattern soon enough.

[Blu]

Congratulations, Bhabs, and welcome to MN.

As far as i know feeding on demand is one of the best ways to maintain and develop your milk supply, and I'm sure your baby is getting enough.

They still have teeny tiny stomachs at that age, so need to feed often, and I was far happier to take it as it happened rather than stress out and try and create a routine.

Once your baby grows older and becomes a 'settled' baby rather than a newborn she will more than likely fall into something of a pattern of her own.

[funnypeculiar]

sounds like you're doign a great job
From what I understand (tiktok is the expert & will probably be along soon), as long as you are feeding often/on demand, you will have enough milk - it just might not feel like it to you. And the bes way to maintain milk supply is to do what you're doing - getting too rigid a routine too early can actually get in the way of your supply (Tiktok feel free to correct if I've got any of that wrong )

One thing that helped me to get a routine with ds was keeping a journal over a few days (you need at least 4-5 I think) of
-feed times (& was it a 'good' feed or a top up)

• sleep times (& times I felt he was tired but fighting sleep, iykwim)
  
• happy/contented times
  
• grumpy stretches
  
  After a while I'd start to see patterns that I hadn't realised existed.
  
  That said, I don't think he had any real routine until he was about 3-4 mths. And even then it was a bit patchy
  
  Dd otoh fell into a routine with no prompting just after she hit 6 weeks

[Bhabs]

Thanks for getting back to me!

When should I start settling her into a routine then?

Been thinking I should give her formula at set times so brest milk comes in when it should. Difficulty with that is if I am at a family do or have relatives round, I can't really breast feed so tend to give her a formula bottle and then try to brest feed her whenever I can.

[BandofMothers]

Can't you get the relly's to come and visit you instead?? I mean you do have a newborn so it's not unreasonable.
Didn't have a set routine with DD1 for ages, just kind of went with the flow really. Am more structured (slightly) with DD2 but only cos of DD1's schedule.

[moondog]

Hi Bhabs.
You are doing brilliantly.
Why can't you feed when rellies there?
If you're not comfortable with it,then go elsewhere but remember you and your baby are the priority here.

More breastfeeding makes more milk remember so go easy on the formula which could interfere with supply.

Six weeks is very early to be thinking about a routine.Best advice is to just go with the baby.

Welcome to MN by the way.

[Bhabs]

OMG refreshed my reply to the first post and saw all the other posts - it's so nice to have reassurance from everyone...

Thanks for all the tips - journal is a great idea - might try it.

Relatives do come round as well as me visiting them! am lucky enough to have my parents, siblings and grandparents down the road as well as in laws so have loads of babysitters - but having so many people wanting a piece of the baby is sometimes a mixed blessing :-s

Have been lucky in that she has a bottles, bf and a dummy but seems to have no problems with 'confusion'. think the tommee tippee closer to nature stuff is fantastic for that.

[massivebigpantsface]

Well this was me 6m ago!

Mt very first thread on mn was because I was stressed about how to get dd into a routine!
Mn straight away said to go with the flow, relax, let it happen. I listened and stopped worrying right away and another 6/8 weeks on dd had found her own routine. It is pretty much the same now, although certain things throw it out like teething, growth spurt at 5m, trips away etc.
Try not to worry and just enjoy this time

[BandofMothers]

You'll soon get used to getting your boobs out no matter who is around

[Olihan]

Personally, I found it easier to let them find their own routines. Feeding on demand is just that, regardless of whether they are bf or ff, they will demand food when they need it. I ff ds1 and dd and am now bfing ds2. The only real difference was that ds1 and dd would usualy go longer between feeds but they all became more predictable in terms of spacing feeds at about 12 weeks.

When you say you have to ff when you are at relatives, is that a cultural/respect thing or just that you don't feel comfprtable doing it front of them? (Sorry if that's an ignorant question.) I was just wondering whether you could bf using a shawl or some sort of cover up if needs be when you were out and about, so that you can give fm at, for instance, the early evening feed. Like you say, your body should then become accustomed to 'missing' that bfeed. I'm not sure how well established your supply needs to be for that to happen and whether 6 weeks is a bit early though.

Welcome to MN btw, and congratulations!

[Bouquets]

My kids pretty much set their own routine but my general rule of thumb is that a small baby who's been awake for 3hrs needs a nap. If you use it as time for a stroll in the pram or go for a drive and read a book, she might drop off.

[MrsBadger]

and don't feel that you can't breastfeed when you're out or have visitors - really, it's much less fiddle (kettles, bottles, coolbags etc) and no-one will mind - actually half the time no-one will even notice.
What was that clever phrase? 'Those that matter won't mind, and those that mind don't matter'...

[edam]

Don't drive and read a book at the same time, though!

[MrsBadger]

(my dd is 6wks too - no 'routine' except she tends to be alert and playful in the mornings, and to feed constantly and be grumpy in the evenings.
Big envy on the going back to sleep after night feeds though - dd is convinced that 4am is the perfect time to play...)

[Bouquets]

LOL, yeah I dozed off with a book on my lap in many a random carpark when my 2 were tiny. 5mins up the motorway and back did the trick.

[Bhabs]

Olihan - bit of both really - if for example its my family its cool but can't really do it in front of male relatives from hubby's side - not a problem if we are at someone's house but not so easy in temple or somewhere public for example.

thanks for all the advice everyone! feel relieved already - just gave dd a bath and massage and she has knocked out in her moses basket so maybe the start of a bedtime routine :-)

[Olihan]

What about a big shawly type thing that you can drape right round both of you so no one gets an eyeful ?

TBH, once they get a bit bigger and you don't have to concentrate so much on getting them latched it is a lot easier to do it discreetly.

A familiar sequence of events at bedtime is a good idea, that's how I started with my 3, but the time varied wildly for a good few weeks, 6pm some nights, 9pm other nights then gradually I began to notice a pattern and bedtime became 7pm every night. Ride with it for now and you'll soon see everything falling into some semblance of order!

[milliec]

Message withdrawn

[WinkyWinkola]

I wouldn't worry about routine, Bhabs. It sounds like you're doing just fine.

It's recommended that breastfed babies are fed on demand.

Enjoy your new baby. You're doing a wonderful job.