Talk

Advanced search

Unfair Fact finding

(2 Posts)
Zahra7473 Thu 25-Jun-20 01:29:22

Hi everyone,

I apologise I'm advance for the long post.

I was in a terribly abusive marriage with my narcissistic aspergers ex husband who I share a three year old son with.

I am so upset, my ex was very abusive and nasty. Initially when I left him, he asked I sign an agreement to hide all the abuse and protect his academic reputation and in return he would give up all custody of our son. I refused to do so. He also blackmailed for 50k in return of the divorce and said otherwise he would not agree to it.

Anyway fast forward a year later, he applied for contact suddenly through the English courts. I have offered contact from the day I left, I just asked the contact be with me or another approved family member present (as throughout the marriage he had been abusive to our son and they have no relationship). However he refused this and hasn't seen our son for over a year.

The case went to fact finding as it was abusive. My ex basically admitted to the judge he would lock me out off the house to punish me when he was angry and make me wait in the rain with no shoes on, he admitted he pinned me to the floor on one ocassion in the middle of the night as I hadn't followed one of his rules, he admitted to so many things. In the end the judge ruled that she didn't see it as abuse as I came across very confident and articulate
I am a lawyer by profession, so she said I was being overly clever and that she could tell by looking at me I was worldly wise and shrewd. She said my ex husband comes across as simple (he comes across as eccentric due to the aspergers) and she believes I would have been the more powerful one in the marriage. She also said as we are a MUSLIM couple she doesn't deem many of his actions abusive as it's part of our culture.

I am so shocked. I am floored. He literally admitted to the abuse and my barrister told me, even his barrister was perplexed at how such a judgement could have been made when my ex was such a bad witness. My barrister said it worked against me that I came across as strong and intelligent. Now I dread my son's future, the fact the judge ordered no contact centre despite the fact they haven't had any contact for over a year - she said straight to direct contact.

Has anyone else had a bad experience with fact findings?

OP’s posts: |
MooseBeTimeForSummer Thu 25-Jun-20 01:42:22

Can you appeal?

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in