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Am I neglecting my four month olds?(3 Posts)
This sounds like a stealth boast but I promise it isn't - I'm just a first time mum feeling a bit rubbish!
My four month old twins are little crackers - they rarely cry and when they do it's easy to settle them. I was prepared for a tough ride with two babies but it just hasn't been like that at all - I can still have daily 20 minute showers, cook every night and keep on top of the housework. But this is because I tend to leave the babies to play by themselves a lot of the time. They spend hours in their bouncy chairs or on the jungle gym. I chat to them every now and again, sing to them a few times each day and maybe look at a book or go for a walk but then I go and do something else that I feel needs doing...
Am I neglecting them or just very lucky? If the former then it's only because I have no idea what else to do with them (suggestions very welcome). Maybe a cop out but if it wasn't for coronavirus then we would probably be out a lot visiting family and friends. But as it is, each day is the same and I feel bad about it. I'd say I spend about four hours per day feeding and changing them and then one hour in total "playing". It doesn't seem like very much, but then they seem so happy by themselves (with me in close proximity obviously). They seem to be hitting their milestones. Please be honest with me, I'm feeling like such a crap mum.
That is fine, if they are happy leave them to it, just make sure they have plenty of attention and cuddles through the day too, as feeling loved, hearing language and learning the rhythms of conversation is imporant too. They are most likely also interacting with and learning from each other. If you look at Magda Gerber and Janet Lansbury's approach to raising babies and children you will find lots of people that try to create the situation you have found yourself in.
Be warned though, as they grow it may change!
Both of mine were happy to hang out and chill on the bouncer/jumperoo/jungle gym at 4 months, and in was able to get stuff done, surf mn, cook food etc. by the time they got to crawling, they required a hell of a lot more supervision. And my life basically got put on the back burner. I dont think you're neglecting them op, you're helping them to learn independent play, albeit as twins playing together. Enjoy it while you can.
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