Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

[Totallyawinetaster]

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

[SandieCheeks]

Stop giving in to tantrums. She's 6!

[Lockdownseperation]

Bin it. 6 is very late and I don’t think she is going to offer it up in time to prevent damage to be teeth. Has your dentist said anything?

[Jumblebumblemess]

You need to have a few weeks of pain and she will soon settle. There is no point in getting rid of it and then giving it back as soon as a tantrum starts.

You have to be firm from the outset and not give in as heartbreaking as that may be.

[BakewellGin1]

Bin it... I'm harsh I know but by 6 she understands no

[TooGlamToGiveADamnn]

Walk them out to the bin man to take and don't buy anymore.

[Teacaketotty]

Throw them away and be done with it. At that age you shouldn’t be trying to convince her to give it up or waiting for her to decide, as her parent you need to do what’s best and bin them.

Sorry if that sounds harsh x

[ThatBitch]

I think you need to be cruel to be kind. When I took my ds' I had to remind myself that every moment he had been upset and furious about it up to the moment I considered giving in would have been worthless upset if I gave in. Be strong. It needs to go. Can you put together a pack of 'big girl' things that a baby with a dummy can't do? A new craft set, film night where she gets to cuddle up 'late' on the settee with you, new bath bombs, new clothes/books/sylvanian families etc - whatever she would really like. Let her see it, tell her it is in exchange for the dummies and then ask her to put the dummies in the wheely bin outside. Do it in the morning when she is wide awake and not considering being tired, grumpy or wanting the dummy. Then let her play, have a busy day, loads of emphasis on her being a big girl, do some baking or cooking or whatever you think she would enjoy that is a treat. At bedtime, put her in bed without mentioning it. If she brings it up, act surprised she would want a baby dummy after the day she has had, remind her it's gone in the bin and say goodnight. No bargaining, no getting involved with the upset beyond a cuddle and 'it's bedtime now'. Let her help make plans for the rest of the week where she gets to choose a few things to do to look forward to.

[Totallyawinetaster]

I've tried binning them before, but she throws the most almighty tantrum, and I always give in.

The dentist always gives me a hard time about for her check ups, as she has an openbite because of sucking on a dummy. She'll agree that she'll stop having it when we are their, but as soon as she gets home she wants it again.

[bloodyhellsbellsx]

You need to not give in. Throw it away, deal with the tantrums and don’t replace it! Else you’ll be back in the same position in a few weeks time.

[Drivingdownthe101]

I don’t think there is another way except explaining why they’ve got to go (her teeth) and binning them. Then don’t give in.

[Sasaz]

Dummies will be the least of your problems if you don’t start standing up to her tantrums

[parietal]

Tell her that it is time for dummies to go, that it will feel odd for a few days and she will miss it but that she is a big girl. Maybe get a new cuddly toy or other comfort object to hold when she feels like she misses the dummy.

then bin them all and don't give in. when she cries, you can say 'I know you miss dummy, but you will get used to it. Let's be big and strong and watch this TV / listen to this story instead'. So acknowledge once & distract.

[LovingLola]

The dentist always gives me a hard time about for her check ups, as she has an openbite because of sucking on a dummy.

Please take this seriously. She will need braces if you don’t.

[Justmuddlingalong]

At 6 she's old enough to know that if she throws a tantrum, you'll give in and she'll get her dummy back. She's not really the problem here.

[Quibblewibble]

I cut the bit they suck with scissors put it back in its normal place and let mine find it broken when they wanted it and put it in the bin themselves.

[Teacaketotty]

Spot on @Sasaz

[LillianBland]

I’m sorry, OP, but I think you’re actually being very selfish. You give her back the dummy because you can’t cope with her throwing a tantrum, even though she is causing damage to her mouth. You’re supposed to make decisions for your children that will protect them, even if they don’t like it. You’re going to have worse issues than this if you don’t get your act together and parent your child.

[IncrediblySadToo]

Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy

She doesn't 'end up with the dummy' YOU give it to her.

She's 6 - get a grip now or you'll be battling her always. When you say NO mean NO, not now until you scream enough'

Tell her that when this one wears out, there won't be anymore and mean it!!

Then when you're ready, snip it (where she won't notice) then when she whinges remind her you said mom more' tell her screaming won't help, she's a big girl and big girls don't have dummies -End Of

However, is NOW really the time to be removing a comforter for a child?

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Cut the end off so it doesnt feel the same anymore. Then when she complains bin it and dont get a new one.

[Desmondo2016]

This is lazy parenting at its worst. Drives me mad.

[Justmuddlingalong]

No. Unless there's a medical reason, the time was a few years ago.

[LemonBreeland]

You need to sort yourself out and not give in. It's not her fault it's yours because you can't be bothered to deal with the tantrums.

[PrayingandHoping]

In the nicest possible way nothing is going to change her mind.... it's yours.... you need to decide enough is enough and you are going to live through the tantrum and not give in

[SandieCheeks]

Poor child, you really need to step up and be a parent here. You’re damaging her teeth because it’s easier for you.

[Totallyawinetaster]

I know I need to be tougher with her, she's is the youngest and she gets away with murder. With my older 2 I was much stricter, but DD is my last baby.

I guess you are all right and I just need to be firm. I've tried to get her to leave the dummies in her bedroom and only have them when she's going to sleep, but I've caved on that front too. She has about 9 or 10 dummies scattered about the house, so I can't wait for them to wear out. I'm also pretty sure there are more in the house so if I throw them away she could easily find another one.