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Getting rid of the dummy for a nearly 6 year old

(479 Posts)
Totallyawinetaster Wed 17-Jun-20 10:53:44

Hi all, I need some advice on how to get rid of my nearly 6 year old DD's dummy. We have tried everything to convince her to give it up and nothing has worked. I know she's really old to still be having a dummy, but now she is so attracted to it that she won't even consider giving it up.

We've been through the dummy fairy, giving it to Santa, the Easter Bunny taking it, we've read all the books, tried bribery, threats, we've lost it, forgot it going on holiday, everything. You name it we've tried it. Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy.

Part of me wants to believe that she'll stop using it on her own, but I can't see it anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice?

OP’s posts: |
SandieCheeks Wed 17-Jun-20 10:54:42

Stop giving in to tantrums. She's 6!

Lockdownseperation Wed 17-Jun-20 10:55:29

Bin it. 6 is very late and I don’t think she is going to offer it up in time to prevent damage to be teeth. Has your dentist said anything?

Jumblebumblemess Wed 17-Jun-20 10:56:05

You need to have a few weeks of pain and she will soon settle. There is no point in getting rid of it and then giving it back as soon as a tantrum starts.

You have to be firm from the outset and not give in as heartbreaking as that may be.

BakewellGin1 Wed 17-Jun-20 10:57:18

Bin it... I'm harsh I know but by 6 she understands no

TooGlamToGiveADamnn Wed 17-Jun-20 10:57:27

Walk them out to the bin man to take and don't buy anymore.

Teacaketotty Wed 17-Jun-20 10:57:51

Throw them away and be done with it. At that age you shouldn’t be trying to convince her to give it up or waiting for her to decide, as her parent you need to do what’s best and bin them.

Sorry if that sounds harsh x

ThatBitch Wed 17-Jun-20 11:03:33

I think you need to be cruel to be kind. When I took my ds' I had to remind myself that every moment he had been upset and furious about it up to the moment I considered giving in would have been worthless upset if I gave in. Be strong. It needs to go. Can you put together a pack of 'big girl' things that a baby with a dummy can't do? A new craft set, film night where she gets to cuddle up 'late' on the settee with you, new bath bombs, new clothes/books/sylvanian families etc - whatever she would really like. Let her see it, tell her it is in exchange for the dummies and then ask her to put the dummies in the wheely bin outside. Do it in the morning when she is wide awake and not considering being tired, grumpy or wanting the dummy. Then let her play, have a busy day, loads of emphasis on her being a big girl, do some baking or cooking or whatever you think she would enjoy that is a treat. At bedtime, put her in bed without mentioning it. If she brings it up, act surprised she would want a baby dummy after the day she has had, remind her it's gone in the bin and say goodnight. No bargaining, no getting involved with the upset beyond a cuddle and 'it's bedtime now'. Let her help make plans for the rest of the week where she gets to choose a few things to do to look forward to.

Totallyawinetaster Wed 17-Jun-20 11:04:17

I've tried binning them before, but she throws the most almighty tantrum, and I always give in.

The dentist always gives me a hard time about for her check ups, as she has an openbite because of sucking on a dummy. She'll agree that she'll stop having it when we are their, but as soon as she gets home she wants it again.

OP’s posts: |
bloodyhellsbellsx Wed 17-Jun-20 11:05:38

You need to not give in. Throw it away, deal with the tantrums and don’t replace it! Else you’ll be back in the same position in a few weeks time.

Drivingdownthe101 Wed 17-Jun-20 11:06:59

I don’t think there is another way except explaining why they’ve got to go (her teeth) and binning them. Then don’t give in.

Sasaz Wed 17-Jun-20 11:09:17

Dummies will be the least of your problems if you don’t start standing up to her tantrums

parietal Wed 17-Jun-20 11:09:54

Tell her that it is time for dummies to go, that it will feel odd for a few days and she will miss it but that she is a big girl. Maybe get a new cuddly toy or other comfort object to hold when she feels like she misses the dummy.

then bin them all and don't give in. when she cries, you can say 'I know you miss dummy, but you will get used to it. Let's be big and strong and watch this TV / listen to this story instead'. So acknowledge once & distract.

LovingLola Wed 17-Jun-20 11:11:11

The dentist always gives me a hard time about for her check ups, as she has an openbite because of sucking on a dummy.

Please take this seriously. She will need braces if you don’t.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 17-Jun-20 11:11:33

At 6 she's old enough to know that if she throws a tantrum, you'll give in and she'll get her dummy back. She's not really the problem here.

Quibblewibble Wed 17-Jun-20 11:13:41

I cut the bit they suck with scissors put it back in its normal place and let mine find it broken when they wanted it and put it in the bin themselves.

Teacaketotty Wed 17-Jun-20 11:16:33

Spot on @Sasaz

LillianBland Wed 17-Jun-20 11:19:00

I’m sorry, OP, but I think you’re actually being very selfish. You give her back the dummy because you can’t cope with her throwing a tantrum, even though she is causing damage to her mouth. You’re supposed to make decisions for your children that will protect them, even if they don’t like it. You’re going to have worse issues than this if you don’t get your act together and parent your child.

IncrediblySadToo Wed 17-Jun-20 11:25:32

Everytime it ends in a fit of crying and screaming, and she ends up with the dummy

She doesn't 'end up with the dummy' YOU give it to her.

She's 6 - get a grip now or you'll be battling her always. When you say NO mean NO, not now until you scream enough'

Tell her that when this one wears out, there won't be anymore and mean it!!

Then when you're ready, snip it (where she won't notice) then when she whinges remind her you said mom more' tell her screaming won't help, she's a big girl and big girls don't have dummies -End Of

However, is NOW really the time to be removing a comforter for a child?

Letsallscreamatthesistene Wed 17-Jun-20 11:26:13

Cut the end off so it doesnt feel the same anymore. Then when she complains bin it and dont get a new one.

Desmondo2016 Wed 17-Jun-20 11:26:33

This is lazy parenting at its worst. Drives me mad.

Justmuddlingalong Wed 17-Jun-20 11:27:12

No. Unless there's a medical reason, the time was a few years ago.

LemonBreeland Wed 17-Jun-20 11:28:24

You need to sort yourself out and not give in. It's not her fault it's yours because you can't be bothered to deal with the tantrums.

PrayingandHoping Wed 17-Jun-20 11:28:44

In the nicest possible way nothing is going to change her mind.... it's yours.... you need to decide enough is enough and you are going to live through the tantrum and not give in

SandieCheeks Wed 17-Jun-20 11:37:01

Poor child, you really need to step up and be a parent here. You’re damaging her teeth because it’s easier for you.

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