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When did your baby develop their personality?

(15 Posts)
HarryHarry Sun 31-May-20 23:47:33

When my son was born his personality was obvious from the beginning. He was always laughing, playing games, making jokes. Now thar he’s older he’s much the same (just with a few tantrums and occasional grumpiness). I thought it would be the same with my daughter. I didn’t want or expect her to be like my son but I thought we would start to see glimpses of her personality early on, as we did with him. I was really excited about finding our who she was and what she was like. Eight months later, I’m still waiting! She is still just a generic baby. She cries a lot, smiles a little, rolls about a bit, but doesn’t seem especially interested in anything and is really hard to play with and talk to. I hate to say this but it’s really boring and frustrating and sometimes I just want to give up and watch TV or something since she doesn’t seem to care whether I play with her or not. In fact most of the time she cries after a few minutes of playing/singing/reading. I feel so so so guilty about the fact that I don’t really enjoy her. I just wish she would start to develop a bit.

Did anybody have a baby like this? What are they like now?

PS Whenever I post on here I always get at least one nasty comment passing judgment on my parenting based on the little bit I’ve said. I hope this time will be different.

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HarryHarry Sun 31-May-20 23:48:13

Sorry for all the typos!

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Letsallscreamatthesistene Mon 01-Jun-20 08:14:59

Your newborn was making jokes?!

Maybe your son is just quite advanced in development. It does sound like your daughter is a 'normal' baby though!

Selfsettling3 Mon 01-Jun-20 08:18:19

Maybe this is your daughter’s personality. How is your mood in general? Have you bonded with her?

GrimmsFairytales Mon 01-Jun-20 08:24:28

She cries a lot, smiles a little, rolls about a bit, but doesn’t seem especially interested in anything and is really hard to play with and talk to.

I think you're looking back at your son with rose tinted glasses. It's easy to think he's always been the way he is, but I bet at 8 months he matched the description above. She's only 8 months old, give her time.

boymum9 Mon 01-Jun-20 08:33:40

I'd say this sounds similar to my first and second sons. I wouldn't say he was making jokes or things like that! But his personality was more apparently, he was more engaged with us from the get go, he had a very placid personality and was smiley and reacted more to us. Second son (2.5 ish years younger) was completely different, I did have some ppd, but he was completely different to ds1, he was a much more highly strung baby and also just didn't seem to react to us or show any personality that we could discern! He's now nearly 3 and in all honesty I think he was really over 2 before it felt like he "let us in" (sounds weird I know, but can't explain it any other way!) and his personality started coming out, I would never be able to explain before this to anyone what he was like as a child. He's now has just the most wonderful fun loving cheeky but kind personality, which I really couldn't even see was before before, it's come out the most in the last 4 months I'd say.

I can understand the struggle, but 8 months of very young, I bet there will be so much change over the next few months!

HarryHarry Mon 01-Jun-20 18:39:19

@boymum9 Thank you for that - it sounds like you really know what I’m talking about! I am desperately trying to make a connection with my daughter but so far she’s not bothered! It gives me hope that your son has turned out fine!

Obviously my son wasn’t making jokes as a newborn but from very early on. I know I’m not misremembering as I have read emails I sent to family members describing him. Perhaps he was just unusually communicative.

That was my question really - is my daughter just a normal baby or should her personality be more obvious by now? I have no idea what “normal” is as I can only base it on what my son was like.

@Selfsettling3 My mood is OK but I must admit that my anxiety over my failed attempts to interact with my daughter is getting me down. I just want her to be happy because I love her so much and it worries me that I can never tell if she is! She doesn’t give anything away!

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Letsallscreamatthesistene Mon 01-Jun-20 19:03:44

Just intrigued - what do you mean by making jokes?

HarryHarry Mon 01-Jun-20 19:11:04

He understood my jokes and copied them but also made his own. He would play little games or make little gestures and it was obvious that he knew he was being funny.

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riotlady Mon 01-Jun-20 19:22:00

I would say my daughter sounds a bit like yours at 8 months and a lot of that IS her personality. She’s very easy going, not really fazed by new people or places, quite independent. She liked being engaged with but she was also happy lying on a blanket watching the world go by.

The one part of her personality that cracked me up from a young age is that she looooves charming people. Even before she could talk she was always trying to make eye contact with people on the bus to get them to smile at her, waving at all the receptionist in the doctors, etc. She’s 2 now and I have to stop her chasing after strangers on our daily walk.

NuffSaidSam Mon 01-Jun-20 19:39:36

I think you have to remember when you only have one, they have all your attention and you notice every single thing they do. Everything is exciting and new. When you have a second one, you have less time and energy to devote to them, to notice everything they do. It's less excoting. You also have an older, more able, more interesting child so it's easy to think them boring in comparison.

penguinsbegin Mon 01-Jun-20 20:29:06

I think theres an element of pfb here. Not a judgement, I think the same of my 1st/2nd. Could also be that no.1 has full attention so you notice it more.

HoundoftheHighgatevilles Mon 01-Jun-20 20:43:07

Maybe this just is her personality (for now)? She may just be more chilled and prefer being calm than playing games and engaging? Is she more cuddly and happy to rest on you watching telly? Or doing more chilled things like sitting and reading? My first was a whirlwind of fun and games and just chilling was something we did briefly before naps. My second was calmer and more reserved for want of a better word so my memories of him are different. At the time I felt guilty because I thought he was missing out on being carried around the city farm looking at the animals, being lifted to feed the ducks etc but he just wasn't interested where as my dd at 6mths loved it!

HarryHarry Mon 01-Jun-20 23:21:57

I think this is what I need to hear. That it’s partly just her character and partly my perception of her, rather than there being something odd or wrong!

I would really like to hear more from people who had similar babies about how they turned out!

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HarryHarry Mon 01-Jun-20 23:23:20

@HoundoftheHighgatevilles Oh and no she doesn’t like to read. She likes to roll about the floor growling. I worry that I’m not stimulating her enough but she doesn’t seem to like my attempts to stimulate her!

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