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Is this neglect?

(60 Posts)
Lovepeaceandcoffee Tue 26-May-20 13:54:08

Hi, I left my other half at 1130am to help out my mother (I'm her carer) with full instructions on putting 19 month old to nap and what to give them for lunch etc. When I got home at 12.45 baby was sleeping. Great! However DP did not change baby's nappy. It hasn't been changed since first thing this morn. I'm really upset about it. But he doesn't get it. Would you say this is neglect?

OP’s posts: |
GreyishDays Tue 26-May-20 13:55:12

If it’s a disposable nappy they only need changing every few hours if they’re wet.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Tue 26-May-20 13:55:41

Not as a one off no it’s not neglect.

GreyishDays Tue 26-May-20 13:55:49

You only left the baby 1 hr and 15 minutes?

Purplequalitystreet Tue 26-May-20 13:56:34

It's not great but neglect is a pretty strong word

Destroyedpeople Tue 26-May-20 13:56:46

No not really.

Fanthorpe Tue 26-May-20 13:59:34

If the baby was wet and dirty then it’s cruel, ad it will lead to a sore bottom.

Is it his child? I’d be hoping for a bit more parenting if so. I think that’s what you really need to establish.

bloodywhitecat Tue 26-May-20 14:00:18

No, that's not neglect why would you think it is most nappy brands boast 12 hours of dryness, even if the nappy had leaked it is something that happens to even the most attentive of parents from time to time.

toomanyplants Tue 26-May-20 14:00:34

You're really upset about it? You were only gone just over an hour, calm down bloody hellfire.

Lovepeaceandcoffee Tue 26-May-20 14:01:36

By the time he wakes he will be wearing it for approx 6 hours. I realise neglect is a harsh word but I don't think it's fair on the baby. DP's reasoning: baby would have gone to sleep 5-10 mins later if I'd changed his nappy. !!

OP’s posts: |
TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 Tue 26-May-20 14:02:27

There was only 1hr 15 mins between you leaving and returning.

You were ok with not changing the nappy between 'first thing' and 11.30am, I'm not sure why you would be upset at your partner. It seems a tad 7nfair.

Mycatsmellsbad Tue 26-May-20 14:04:00

Do you wake the baby in the night to change its nappy op?

Purplequalitystreet Tue 26-May-20 14:04:56

I missed the part where you were only gone for an hour. Is it quite rare for you to leave him alone with baby?

Spied Tue 26-May-20 14:05:08

I'd not get worked up about this.

Temple29 Tue 26-May-20 14:05:56

It’s not neglect, my baby is in a nappy for 12 hours at night and has never had a rash. It would be best to change it before a nap but only a big deal if it was a dirty nappy as opposed to a wet one.

Pacmanitee Tue 26-May-20 14:06:35

Lazy, yes. Neglect? No confused. If it was leaking or if soiled (not just wee) then that's different, but honestly its a bit offensive to call it neglect.

GoBackToPartyCity Tue 26-May-20 14:08:25

This wouldn’t even be on my radar. Fair enough if the baby had sat in his own poo for all that time but it seems to me you’re looking for an excuse not to leave the baby with him again.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo Tue 26-May-20 14:08:46

Is it hell.

pilates Tue 26-May-20 14:08:53

The nappy probably needed changing before you left for your mum’s and no it’s not neglect if it’s a one off.

SandieCheeks Tue 26-May-20 14:09:04

No it's not neglect! Neglect is something that actually causes a child harm.

Has the nappy leaked? If not then it's fine confused You're being ridiculous.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow Tue 26-May-20 14:10:12

Do you usually let your OH take care of the baby? Does he get to spend time with the baby regularly?

grisen Tue 26-May-20 14:11:04

Wait so why didn’t you change the nappy in the first 5 hours the baby was warring it?
Honestly with instructions on how to put the baby to sleep I’d expect instructions on everything.

AStarSoBright Tue 26-May-20 14:11:41

You were gone for an hour and 15 minutes and left 'full instructions' on lunch and nap time? Your partner was probably to worried about not sticking to the rules to add a nappy change in. Have you never left your baby before? It's not neglect, at worst it's a bit lazy.

Onekidnoclue Tue 26-May-20 14:11:42

It’s not great but far from neglect!
Unless the nappy was dirty?
It’s definitely better to change the baby more often but leaving him in a wet nappy for little more than an hour longer than you deem acceptable is a bit tough.
Is he neglectful in other ways? Seems a bit like you’re fishing for a reason to be annoyed with his parenting.

Lovepeaceandcoffee Tue 26-May-20 14:12:18

Looks like I'm getting worked up over this. Thanks for reassuring me all. It's just that I've looked after baby all morning, made their milk, read them a book, changed their nappy, clothed them, made them breakfast, did some colouring in, took them for a walk had a go on the swings. (I say 'them' as there are 2 of them-twins. I'm exhausted. And all he had to do was feed them and put them to sleep. I would have at least expected his nappy to be changed. No I don't wake baby up in the night to change his nappy and no the nappy wasn't dirty, just wet. And yes DP is the father.

OP’s posts: |

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