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would you want your really good friend to tell you that their 16yr dd had a bf,for a few months now?

(24 Posts)
brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 18:58:59

We've alwasy told each other things about our dd's who are good friends.
My dd told me my friends dd has been going out with a boy.She's been seeing him for a few months now and still hasn't told her mum.I know this is normal behaviour and have until now not wanted to say anything incase I upset her dd.

My dd has said to xx "why don't you tell your mum?" and is answered with "I will soon".

Her dd is quite shy with adults (not with me) and very private .So in a way I don't want to invade her privacy but if it wsa my dd I'd wnat to know. What would you do?

Cammelia Wed 19-Sep-07 18:59:52

Absolutely nothing. Its none of your business.

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:06:40

right-that was a bit snappy!

whomovedmychocolate Wed 19-Sep-07 19:07:57

Oh god, I read that as that the 16 year old had breastfed for a few months and was shock!!!!

blush

louii Wed 19-Sep-07 19:08:10

Definately none of your business.

whomovedmychocolate Wed 19-Sep-07 19:09:22

But I'd mind my own business. Although I might say to my friend 'I'm concerned DD is going to start dating soon and how I'll handle it', she may actually reply: 'oooh yes, it is tough, my DD is seeing someone'.

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:11:20

her mum definately doesn't know.
X admits she hasn't told her.

ok I agree it's none of my business.

whomovedmychocolate Wed 19-Sep-07 19:13:43

Just make sure your DD knows about contraception etc. in case she is asked for advice (and are you sure your DD doesn't also have a bf you don't know about?) hmm

Cammelia Wed 19-Sep-07 19:18:22

Sorry to sound snappy ggirl, wasn't intentional. I feel very strongly that an unrelated 16 year old girl should have her privacy. The information isn't yours to deal with iyswim.

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:18:36

yes pretty sure my dd doesn't yet,but there's always room for error.

I'm not judging my friend because she doesn;t know,I just know she's want to kow.She has asked me to tell her if I find out ,but it feels wrong to me now.So I am relenting on a promise to my frined ,but really I am doing the right thing ...aren't I?

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:19:36

camelia-what if I knew she was taking drugs though?

Cammelia Wed 19-Sep-07 19:20:08

Don't change the subject grin

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:22:24

grin I know ,naughty= of me,but these things do crop up.

tigermoth Wed 19-Sep-07 19:24:17

I think you should let it lie, unless you have real worries.

You could start a conversation with your friend about daughters and boyfriends, just to give her the opportunity to tell you anything if it is on her mind. Perhaps she already suspects or even knows that her dd is seeing someone?

ProjectIcarusinhercar Wed 19-Sep-07 19:24:52

<so did I wmmc>

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:30:03

I know my friend doesn't know,we are very close.

Cammelia Wed 19-Sep-07 19:31:00

Ok, would you expect her to tell you should the situation be reversed?

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:32:27

yup

Cammelia Wed 19-Sep-07 19:33:52

Then there's your answer.

I just have a bit of a problem with the fact that the person is 16.

FioFio Wed 19-Sep-07 19:34:33

Message withdrawn

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:35:03

my dd is still 15,does thta make it any better ?

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:35:59

I am not fussing!

Just asking.

I have decided not to say anything.

Cammelia Wed 19-Sep-07 19:37:03

Its one of those moral dilemmas ggirl, there probably isn't a right answer

brimfull Wed 19-Sep-07 19:47:37

yes you're right.thanks for your help everyone.

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