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Child's photo sharing and privacy problems

(5 Posts)
motherwhocraft Sat 16-May-20 20:41:31

Hi mums,

I have been troubled by these problems since a while and finally I thought it might be good idea to share it with you guys and see if I can get some advices from you all.
My husband is sharing some photos of my child to his friends and family, this was never a problem for me until months ago something happened in the family.
A while ago, we have planed a family holiday to another country to visit my side of the family as some of them has not met my baby yet since he was born and we only have shared this plan with my husband's side of the family, not long after, we received someone's report from the child service, saying I have been reported going to a holiday with my husband, and we decided to leave the baby alone. We are still not sure what purpose it serves. Shocking for me as a mother to receive this tho, but it was easy to explain to the child service that we have planed the holiday for all of us three, we sent our tickets, bookings and it was fine after all. Due to this reason, we had fell out from the family, my husband was kicked out by his parents along with some other issues in the past. Not long after, one of the family members sent us a letter which is 20 pages long full of hate, wishing me and my husband to split. It was disturbing and confusing for me to acknowledge someone could ever do this to us , especially, from a family member. Since then, I have discussed with my husband, we do not share our personal plans, photos and important information in case something else like this would happen.
My main concern was make sure my child is safe, living without any this sort of the strange battles. I and my husband was married not to long ago, and we live far away from his family so I only met his family 3 times, it was sad however I felt I barely know them, so I am not too bothered by this situation. Like this, without much contact, then few months after til now, my husband is sharing all the photos we have again, which brought me to have a chat with him. He was not happy to share what they were discussing which I fully respect, but I mentioned only please do not share my personal information and our child information without letting me know in case something happens. Well, what I got was my things smashed on the floor by him and being shouted at for a while, he shouted he can say and share what the f* he want to anyone, it's none of my business. I don't really mind how he reacted to me, I fully respect his privacy, he might just feel not be trusted at that moment so he reacted overly. However, I'm not comfortable about what he told me, he shared a lot of photos, especially all the photos of our child.

Is there any law and privacy protection that I can seek for my child over this? Or I can only shut up about it like my husband said and wishing nothing bad will happen again?

Thank you for your time.

OP’s posts: |
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow Sun 17-May-20 15:02:24

OP, you made a very reasonable request of your husband, and he destroyed your property and screamed at you. This is abuse, and it is INCREDIBLY damaging to both yourself, and your child. You need to get you and your little one away from this man as soon as possible.

ZooKeeper19 Sun 17-May-20 17:14:11

Hi @motherwhocraft. I am so sorry to hear this. It is very upsetting to have people wish you such bad things. I agree, children's information, photos or anything personal should not be shared without both parents agreeing on this and even then it has to be shared in a safe way only.

However I do agree with the previous post, your husband is a dangerous man and you need to find a way to save your baby from him. If he smashes your things, what will he do if the baby makes him angry? Will he smash his things? Hit him in anger? Nothing can make this go away sad

Growing up in a house where you have to be careful not to make your husband angry otherwise you will be in trouble, that is not good for any child. Hope you will find a solution.

motherwhocraft Sun 17-May-20 23:22:53

Thank you both aboveflowers, it sounds depressing but since we married I do find the huge difference between us, the marriage life became kind of like co-living, I barely request anything like this, or ask for any help from him because I always knew as soon I have a different opinion, or sometimes I want to discuss something he did could do another way, things won't end up well, so I stopped talking my feelings, thoughts a while ago, a bit like just to avoid making him angry. I hardly feel this is my husband rather than someone just sharing a house, we just do our things alone most of time in peace. We are so different in many many ways, luckily I don't feel threated or abused most of the time, however, I really do wish this won't happen to anyone else, married supposed to be beautiful.
The only reason I talked to him is that it matters for my baby, after my first try I'm certain I won't talk about it again with him. I also looked up online about laws related to this matter, hopefully one day, if I decided to step out from this marriage or something bad did happened, I could protect my child from it.

OP’s posts: |
ZooKeeper19 Mon 18-May-20 09:24:52

Oh @motherwhocraft sad

It is sad to read that you luckily I don't feel threated or abused most of the time

Any relationship should be a safe one, where you share all your feelings, happy or unhappy ones. If you cannot do this because it would upset your husband, it is time to leave. Emotional abuse, psychological one, is just as bad as physical one.

I know of people who did this in a non-angry way, just pack up and say you do not feel this is working.

But consider this. If it gets worse, your child will become a bargaining chip. He will take him away from you. Fight you in court over custody. Hurt you the worst possible way a mother can be hurt - by taking away your child.

I really hope this does not happen and that something magical will happen and he will be nice to you. If you ever feel unwell or just want to chat, message me any time smile

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