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Toddler behaviour during lockdown(4 Posts)
DD is almost 3, also gave a 3 month old.
I am obviously aware that both having a new sibling and being in lockdown are huge adjustments for her, but I am shocked at how much her previously lovely personality is changing.
Just this morning alone she has drawn all over her playmats (i went to the loo for literally 2mins), she has hitme when reprimanding her, has told me multiple times she doesn't love me, I will ask her not to do something and she will deliberately do it, if I need to make a phonecall she will follow me around shouting at the top of her voice so I can't hear what the other person is saying, and she just threw her lunch all over the floor.
She has always been a really kind, affectionate little girl who never hits and to be honest has never really been naughty.
I feel like I'm constantly telling her off and counting down until bedtime. I have always had insecurities about how good a parent I am and that her previously being so good was just luck, or from her modelling behaviour from others, and now shes stuck indoors with just me, her behaviour is deteriorating and this must be a reflection on my parenting.
It all just sounds like she's desperate for attention, which is understandable with the new sibling (plus lockdown).
You need to break the cycle of bad behaviour getting attention. Ignore the bad behaviour wherever possible. If it can't be ignored use 'time-out'/naughty step/thinking step.
At the same time, really shower her with attention when she's being good. Sometimes when you have a good one you forget to praise all the good behaviour because it's just normal! So, go back to noticing everytime she does something you 've asked/she behaves nicely/she's helpful etc. You should be praising more than reprimanding no matter how naughty she is, so you might have to dig deep at first. It can be 'great putting your socks on DD' or 'you're walking so nicely next to the buggy DD' or 'you're sitting on your chair so well DD'. Just praise her up constantly.
Try, if possible, to find time to actively do stuff with her, preferably something new or special (maybe a new craft activity or baking or a new puzzle/game).
Tell her in advance if you're going to be ignoring her for a bit and also tell her what will happen next, so for example 'Im going to make a phone call now and I need you to play quietly so I can hear what X is saying. After my phone we can make cupcakes'.
It’s the terrible two’s or threes depending on who you talk to. My 2.5yo is just starting it. My older kids all had a defiant period at some point between 2-3 when they pushed all the boundaries.
It’s nothing personal that’s for sure. I’ve run toddler groups for a decade and almost every parent has been through it.
Just stick to your guns as much as possible, make your life easy by not being super strict and then having to follow through. Repeat “it’s a phase” on loop and count the hours until bedtime. It’s normal I’m afraid and you’ll have it all again in 2 years time .
No specific advice, but could have written your post-you are not alone! Have a newborn and a 2 year old and the latter has become so naughty in all the ways you describe.
I think it’s age, sibling adjustment and lockdown affecting us all. It’s hard, but try not to take it personally.
I think we probably all look forward to bedtime in lockdown..... Sadly that’s when my baby’s witching hours start.
Things will get better (presumably 😂)
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