Hiya! I'm a new mum with a 3 week old DS! I have found myself feeling a little down and sort of cut off/zoned out! It's been more the last week or so, and the first week i was just so exhausted i cant really remember it!
My OH has been amazing and i know if I need him to do anything he will I just need to ask, but have found myself getting annoyed that he takes him time with some things such as getting up to make a bottle during night feeds! I'm really really struggling when DS is howling crying because hes hungry and find myself in tears because I cant soothe him quick enough and get even more frustrated when OH sits up and checks his phone before going down to do a bottle!
I dont have bad feelings towards the baby but at the same time I dont feel 'besotted'with him as everyone said i would. I wouldnt say I was overly maternal and I hadn't had any experience with a baby before having my own so I assumed maybe that was why! I dont avoid seeing to the baby but do find myself having to give him to OH when I've exhausted my methods of trying to soothe him, which in turn makes me upset thinking I'm failing as a mother.
I am also struggling with lockdown as my family live 50 miles away, so obviously haven't met the baby, and as I had a hard final trimester I haven't actually been down since xmas eve! And now I cant get down there! My dads a bit of a dinosaur with tech so no SM and I order printed photos to his house so he can see the baby but I feel rotten! I cried when he grew out of his newborn sleep suits because my dad had sent us those and now he'll never get to see him in them or while hes that small ever! I'm an only child so this is first grandchild for him and my mum passed away when I was young so hes on his own through all this too!
I'm trying to focus on other things, we're getting married next year and I want to order the stationary and stuff ready and just find it exhausting trying to do it! It's taken us a week and we've still not put the order in because I keep losing focus in it! I feel my partner deserves someone better both for him and the baby!
I rely dont know if its just as I've been stuck in, just still over tired from everything or if its PND kicking in 🤷♀️ I'm just at a loss!
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Feeling down, baby blues or PND?
5 replies
staceymarieox · 14/05/2020 23:15
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