Advice please - six year not nice to another child

[Michronrub]

Hi, can anyone offer any insight into a very frustrating situation with my six year old. He has many friends, very outgoing and only child I often think too confident, although he is very kind and looks after little ones, helps etc. Seems to play better with older kids and looks up to them. New friend in street and although he asks to play with him all the time, he doesn’t seem to share well with him at all, In fact everything is a competition and play time never ends well. He doesn’t seem to want to play with him unless it’s 100% on his terms and despite talking to him, getting very angry and trying all sorts he hasn’t changed his attitude. The other kid is the same age but emotionally and physically younger, he seems like he just wants to be friends although a lot of little quirks seem to annoy my kid . I don’t like the behaviour my kid is displaying and I feel we both need to know what’s going on. Any advice please?

[SomeoneElseEntirelyNow]

What's he like at school? Does he have friends his own age?

[SnuggyBuggy]

It could be that they aren't very compatible

[SeriouslySoDoneIn]

Your son sounds like a typical 6 year old

[Weemanr]

Thanks for replying. He has lots of friends his own age and older, very sociable very outgoing and on the odd occasion these two play nicely but it doesn’t last long and I wonder if they’re seeing too much of each other . He won’t share very well and doesn’t seem to like him in his space unless he invites him , but he is not like that with anyone else. Usually like a puppy dog for any play time . It’s so frustrating I can’t work it out and not nice for us mums .

[SomeoneElseEntirelyNow]

It could be that he just doesn't like this kid. And that's absolutely fair enough! There are tonnes of people i don't like (some for good reason and some because we just don't click) and I'd probably pretty pissy if i was forced to spend time with them. At 6, he probably doesn't have the emotional maturity or the vocabulary to express this to you, or even to himself. If i were you I'd accept that they don't mesh well and stop putting them together. Like if you didn't get on with a colleague you wouldn't invite them round for tea.

Just because he's a child doesnt mean he shouldnt get a choice in who he's friends with - if he's good socially overall, I'd just let this one go.

[Sally872]

I tell my child she doesn't have to be close friends with everyone, if there is someone she doesn't get on with she should distance herself by not playing one on one if it isn't working but don't exclude them from group games.

In your case I would tell ds "if you can't share with xxx then don't take the toy out. Share it or leave it inside"

[Weemanr]

Thanks everyone. It’s only because it’s quite unusual to see that behaviour from him. Advice we’ll received , thank you kindly for taking the time to respond .