Planning for 2nd baby

[Pumpkinangel]

Hi, me and hubby have been talking about when is the best time to try for our second baby, our little boy is 18 months at the moment. I and 37 this year and hubby is 40 but we don’t want to leave it too long to wait as we aren’t getting any younger, also I know there is no right or wrong time to plan. Just feeling a bit wary at the moment with everything going on with corona lockdown, think I just want some advice really if people waited till their first born was a bit older or if they found it easier at a certain age etc. I also have to consider nursery fees too as I pay £700 for my son at the moment for 3 days, he will turn 3 in November 2021 so will be eligible then for some free hours which would help a lot. Think I worry about the money side of it too. I know it’s silly really and I shouldn’t worry about these things but just can’t help it.

[Pumpkinangel]

[OneTooManyBathtimes]

I got pregnant just after DS turned 1, and was 2 months short of him being 2. For me, it was a case of "if we wait, we're never having another child" because I had such a horrible pregnancy and didn't want to go through that again. I knew that if we put it off, it would never happen.

I still had a horrible pregnancy, like I knew I would. I still don't want another one. DH and I are looking at doing flexi or part time work each to help with nursery fees etc, but DS will be entitled to free hours in January, so it will mostly be DD that needs most of the watching

[Pumpkinangel]

@OneTooManyBathtimes thanks for your reply :) yes we feel the same that if we don’t try soon it won’t happen and would be nice for my son to have another sibling not too far apart in age. I’m currently working 4 days a week and 2 days I do my normal job and the other two days I’ve been seconding to another role as lot more opportunities career wise but I just worry that as the seconding job gets more into it and intense that it may start to take over so I’m not sure if I should continue with it as if we trying for another baby I don’t want the stress of it to affect things and want to enjoy the time with my son and possible future 2nd baby as much as I can as won’t get the chance again with them being little so feel I may need to put my career plan on hold. Since being in lockdown we have had a lot of time to think about things and the future. Would love to progress in my career and make more money but i feel its can wait for now and I should focus on my little one(s) I also had a horrible delivery, had forceps
In the end but was quite traumatic so I worry about this too but I know it will be worth it if have similar again x

[givemecrisps]

I am 37 weeks pregnant and my son is 14 months old, it was a bit of a surprise but at least it's done and dusted. I wanted to wait until he was 2ish we could go to the free childcare. Have you considered a childminder rather than nursery? My son goes 2 days a week and it's £304 a month from 6:15-15:30. My husband an I both work shifts so it needed to fit with our hours.

[givemecrisps]

I also had a forceps delivery and lost quite a lot of
Blood so can understand the trauma aspect of the birth you had!

[Intastellaburst]

It might be nice to time it so you start the second maternity leave when your oldest gets the free nursery hours. That way you can have them in nursery and focus on your newborn. That was my plan, it was going well and then lockdown happened :(

[Pumpkinangel]

Yeah we did think about that but the only prob leaving it till he is 3 is that he isn’t 3 until Nov 2021 so. Quite a way off but if fell pregnant in next few months it may work out :) so that when I plan to go back to work after may leave he will be getting the free hours then too and can then afford for my 2nd baby to go nursery too :) so much to plan and think about

[Intastellaburst]

Yep, if you do want to go back to work afterwards then waiting a little longer makes sense, unless you are a high earner the cost of having two at nursery must really add up. Even when the oldest is at school there’s still before & after school clubs to pay for unless you can get flexible hours or family can help out with the pick ups. The clubs are usually much cheaper than nurseries though.

[Intastellaburst]

But like you say also have to bear in mind how long it takes you to conceive, how long it took you last time might be a clue. And that pregnancy/babies get more tiring as you get older!

[Pumpkinangel]

Thanks everyone :) really appreciate all your advice :) hope u are all keeping well with ur littles ones