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Is your parenting changed with your OH during covid crisis? (Those in 2 parent households)

(11 Posts)
Zenlifeforme Tue 07-Apr-20 18:23:24

How is everyone doing in terms of parenting with other halves who are home more? Specifically asking primary care givers (like myself) if your other half is wfh or if they have been furloughed (or even just that they are around more) how is it working out in your home?

Are you finding it a good thing, bad thing, or is it hard to say? Are you finding you are having to compromise on how you parent as they are doing it their way? Have to bite your tongue? Is it causing problems or are you finding it a blessing (like than nhs emotive advert that went round saying how lovely it is that kiddies have got both parents around). I know domestic violence rates have gone up so it ain't no bed of roses for some....

Just wondered how people's parenting has changed during this covid crisis and if its become more equal or less?

Selfsettling3 Tue 07-Apr-20 19:11:45

I’ve found DH is suddenly making up rules that we have never had confusing me and DD1. The weekends have been a nightmare and he seems unable to sling the baby and entertain the 3 year.

Chocaholic789 Tue 07-Apr-20 22:26:18

We are both WFH but less hours than we would be at work. I feel like I'm doing more than my share of childcare / housework etc at the mo though. His work involves phone calls and meetings so is at set times. Mine just involves tasks, no set times and so I feel he is making out my work is less important. The default parent most of the time is therefore me. I'm also trying to clean the house (which is dirtier due to us being in it more), think of homeschooling ideas, tidy up etc. It's now starting to cause arguments. I would like to draw up a sort of timetable of who works when, who has kids when, who does jobs etc but I fear the suggestion of this will cause another argument!

KenDodd Tue 07-Apr-20 22:30:09

Don't know about my child care changing but my personal hygiene has gone downhill now I'm not going out to work all day.

wavecatcher Tue 07-Apr-20 22:31:26

Husband is now working from home he's helping out more and has shifted his hours so I can get more morning sleep some days as our youngest is teething. The children love seeing him more we've says today will be sad when he goes back.

waspfig Tue 07-Apr-20 22:47:01

@Chocaholic789 I am in exact same position as you. My work can be completed any time within the week and is significantly less than normal workload whereas DH is on calls or in meetings most of the day. We agreed this week to try a schedule of
I work - 6-9am
He works 9-12
I work 12-2ish unless he has meetings
He works 2-6pm

We're mostly sticking to it and I am having a chunk of time this weekend while he is on annual leave to catch up.

QueenBlueberries Tue 07-Apr-20 22:52:22

Parenting hasn't changed but is taking a different routine. DH has to work from home (and go in once a week, he is a teacher). I can't work at all at the moment, so I do most of the homework setting for DSS and supervise, encourage them to do PE, we cook / bake together, etc. DH tends to take over from 4pm onwards. It took a few days to settle in to the new routine but I wouldn't say parenting style has changed.

Chocaholic789 Tue 07-Apr-20 22:52:48

@waspfig it's good to know I'm not the only one. Do you have kids too? I'm really struggling to fit everything in. I feel like the expectations from work are unrealistic with having 2 kids to looks after too.

waspfig Tue 07-Apr-20 23:00:59

@Chocaholic789 yes a baby and a toddler. I was actually supposed to return to work the week of lockdown! My employer are being surprisingly understanding for now but the situation could change at any time. I'm a teacher and so may be expected back to work soon. At that point I've no idea how DH will work and look after the DC.

OP to answer your question, DH is definitely doing more than he has been whilst i was on mat leave, but not any where near 50% like he would if I was going out of the house to work. I do think we have more time together as a family as there's no time lost to commuting and obviously we aren't visiting anywhere.

Chocaholic789 Wed 08-Apr-20 06:58:53

@waspfig I have a 3.5 and 5 year old. I am also a teacher. My workload is go8ng to massively increase after the Easter holidays as I will be teaching all lessons again, just virtually instead. I too am dreading the thought of DH looking after the kids whilst working. It'll be hard working when I can hear what's going on in the next room!!

Zenlifeforme Sun 12-Apr-20 20:51:29

Thanks for all your replies. It sounds like a lot of families are doing schedules like that. But also heard of men who have v set work things so women's job seen as less important...
I wasn't due back til oct so i'm still doing the usual being the one jobfree but my OH is pitching In loads as he is home and sees it all happening in real time.

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