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Help please for a very tired mama...

(18 Posts)
S082018 Fri 14-Feb-20 08:31:15

Hi all

My newborn is now a week old. We were in hospital for the first few days of his life so we have actually only been at home for two nights.

He seems to sleep brilliantly in the day in his Moses basket. Wakes up himself every 3 hours for a feed (I am breastfeeding). He sleeps in his Grosnug sleeping bag as he takes to swaddling really well.

The problem comes at night. We do the usual, nappy change, feed, sleeping bag and bed. The only problem is, the minute I put him in his side sleeper cot, he becomes so unsettled to the point where I have to pick him up again, rock him until he settles and put him back down. At the moment he is waking at least every hour.

I gave in and used a dummy last night to try and soothe him. The aim is to take this out once he is asleep - it works in the sense that it quietens him down but when he turns his head to the side it just falls out! And then he gets unsettled again.

I'm wondering whether I should ditch the side sleeper cot and just use the Moses basket for now. My other option is to try out the sleeping nest I have (similar to the leading brand Sleepyhead) and place this in the side cot if it works well. But I've heard mixed things about safe sleeping and whether this should be done.

I know it's only been two nights at home and it's really early days but I am exhausted and would love to get even just a block of 2-3 hours at night.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

nocluewhattodoo Fri 14-Feb-20 08:35:40

If he sleeps well in the Moses basket then I would try that in your room. We used a sleepyhead type thing in a snuzpod cot, lasted a few days before I couldn't deal with the picking up and putting down routine. My DD was an awful, awful sleeper so we ended up cosleeping, but that's not for everyone. Can your partner/husband watch the baby during his 3 hour naps and you nap while he does to help your recovery? Whatever you can do to rest, do it. Sleep deprivation is hard flowers

annie9876 Fri 14-Feb-20 08:38:03

It could be that at the minute with him being so small the Moses basket feels more secure. Maybe pop him in that at night until he's a little bigger and then transition to the side sleeper.

Also not sure if you have one but Ewan the sheep has worked wonders for us. The heartbeat sound settles my DC down a treat.

mynameiscalypso Fri 14-Feb-20 08:44:29

DS definitely slept better in his Moses basket for the first few weeks. I think it was because it was smaller. When he did finally start going to sleep in his cot, he would always wriggle into the corner so he was squished in there. I'd go with the Moses basket for now - it won't be too long until he gets a bit bigger and more used to the outside world.

HoneyBee03 Fri 14-Feb-20 08:45:43

Can you try co-sleeping? My DS was like this until 10 months old and co-sleeping saved me. He still woke up regularly but was much easier to settle and breastfeed. My husband ended up sleeping in the spare room which we hated but made it all feel safer to do. Admittedly we waited until he was about 3 weeks old to co-sleep, he felt a bit too small before then.

I was a total zombie for a long time and was begging for a 3 hour stretch of sleep, so I totally sympathise. DH would take DS off me in the morning after the morning feed to let me have a lie-in and it would usually mean I could get a good 2 hours before he needed another feed. Hang on in there! Stock up on good coffee and get naps in the daytime when the baby naps.

hairyxmasturkey Fri 14-Feb-20 08:46:17

Google fourth trimester. Totally normal but it's HARD.

Beseen19 Fri 14-Feb-20 08:51:46

Have you tried swaddling? I never did it with my first and he was a clinger, fed hourly, never settled anywhere but my bed. My second is 3 weeks old and admittedly nothing like his brother so could definitely be a personality thing but he has been swaddled from birth and settles great in his side sleeper cot.

S082018 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:44:03

Thank you all for your suggestions ☺️

I think I'm going to ditch the side sleeper cot for a little while and use the Moses basket for daytime and nighttime sleeps and see how I get on. Fingers crossed for a better night tonight! 🤞🏽

ReallyLilyReally Fri 14-Feb-20 13:50:38

Our wee girl didn't like the next to me crib when she was brand new - we put the moses basket in it for nights and she slept much better. After a week or two, we started moving her back to the crib, putting a tshirt that smelled like one of us over the mattress, warming it with a hot water bottle, etc. She got used to it after a few days and now she's 14 weeks she sleeps there perfectly

Ullupullu Fri 14-Feb-20 13:51:51

He is one week old and does not know night from day! For the next few weeks you and dp need to take it in turns to sleep.

Hairwizard Fri 14-Feb-20 15:14:40

We used a rolled up towel lenthways down each side of moses basket and hood up on it to make it snug. Along with a wee hot water bottle in for a bit before putting our first ds in to sleep. We took that out once he went in though. We did have to co sleep first then once he fed put him in basket.

snowybean Fri 14-Feb-20 16:00:23

My baby is six weeks old. I experiment as much as possible when it comes to the night. Sometimes we co-sleep, other times we use the moses basket during the night, but most of the time she just sleeps on me.

During the day she'll sleep wherever, but nights are far more challenging. Good luck finding something that works for you and your baby!

Itsmommy Fri 14-Feb-20 16:05:30

The early days are soooo hard, hang in there. 2-3 hrs is not terrible for 1wk. We had the same situation as you (days fine, brutal nights) for both DCs for the first year and am dreading it happening again v soon! It’s really hard to get used to the sleep deprivation but you will. It gets a bit easier once you get to know DC better. Also when their schedules start to appear around 3-4 months and their tummies can hold more milk. White noise, dream feeds, swaddle, switch hitting mornings/evenings w DH, have DH change DC and bring you a clean baby to feed or give DC to DH to settle after a feed, get help for early evening feeds so you can sleep early or early morning help so you can feed DC and go back to sleep, nap as much as possible...just switch to ‘survival mode’ and be kind to yourself.
And once the sleep routine is ok, teeth appear, sleep regressions, nightmares, potty training ... so the parental waking in the night never really goes back to pre-DC levels. Sorry :/

Warsawa31 Fri 14-Feb-20 19:10:52

To be honest a routine just develops over time. My only advice to you at this age would be to pick a time - we did 8 pm - sun rise and designate that “night time” that means you keep lights low voices quiet minimum screens. Keep nappy changes and feeding short and to the point, don’t stimulate the baby. Then during the day times be loud and interactive etc. It helped our DD her into the Rhythms.
It’s very tough for the first few months, just try not to stress thinking you need to solve anything - you can’t. Just go with the flow, you will get used to being tired 💤 it gets easier I promise

NearlyBaked Fri 14-Feb-20 20:31:04

I think some babies just love to be really close to you at night when they're tiny.
My daughter initially slept on my chest, then in the crook of my arm in a safe co-sleeping arrangement, then in her arms reach co sleeper. Took 2 or 3 weeks to get her there.

Jazzycat84 Fri 14-Feb-20 21:07:55

You will adjust to the lack of sleep. Baby should feed every 3 hours. That’s not 3 hours from when you finish it’s 3 hours from when you start feeding. So by the time you have fed, changed and settled the baby and yourself back into bed. You’ll be lucky to get 2 hours straight. Babies don’t sleep so start managing your expectations about sleep.

S082018 Sat 15-Feb-20 10:04:14

Thank you all for your helpful suggestions! I decided to use the Moses basket last night rather than the side sleeper - worked like magic! 😁 I'll just be using this from now on and will eventually transition him to the side sleeper when he is a little bigger.

Thanks again to all of you! X

bookish83 Sat 15-Feb-20 11:01:11

Hi we are feeling the same with our 2.5 week old.

We put the moses basket in the side sleeper (cant see his face without sitting up but can still hear him) and i honestly think he prefers it. More contained? We are going to keep trying it anyway x

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