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Terrible Two Here

(4 Posts)
coclala Thu 13-Feb-20 19:05:06

Hi ladies,

I don't know where to start. I think my message is about 3 things:

1.Does DD want too much attention?
2.How do I make myself less tired?
3.Do I need to change my mindset of parenting and my tone while speaking to DD?

1. My DD is 2 years and 5 moths today and despite I think she's quite advanced in many ways, she's a total nightmare. Every week day I took her to a different class in the morning. She never changed and is always the only one who is running around outside circle of all of us. She stops once she heard something interesting. Then off she goes to some other discoveries in the class room. If I stop her she will scream. I normally let her run, and try to follow the teacher's instructions like a good student. I ignore her because I guess she does running all the time because she wants attention. It's just my interpretation. Am I right? Any better advice? I don't want to pay for 5 classes a week for her to run which we can do it for free in the park.

2. I have a great bond with DD. She like to do things around me. Playing, reading, eating, sleeping... She is only away from me for 30 minutes per week for her ballet class where she runs around circles. She naps after lunch. It's usually the time I am on my way back home. That means she naps when I can't but I really need. After we are back home. She will soon wake up and stop me resting. I get really annoyed. It's impossible to explain to her not to touch me while I am sleeping. Sometimes, I deliberately keep my eyes closed and ignore her. Wishing she get bored and play toys or read book herself but it never happened. Experienced mums, any secret weapons?

3. In my questions, I said to change my mindset and my tones. What make me think about these are that I constantly find my DD annoying and I want to send her to nursery or give to a nanny. When I tell her not to do something, I use nice voice explain to her first, and DD won't listen of course then after a few rounds I raise my voice and even myself don't want to listen. It's always turn to a crime scene when I am on the phone. She will do the worst she can to get my attention. There is a Starbucks which I will never go back again because DD standing on the table and knocked down a cup of hot chocolate all over the sofa seat and I was furious. I follow the authoritative parenting advice and I blame myself get angry, not patient and not communicate with DD well enough. At the same time I feel very upset that I take DD terrible two behaviours personal. I believe it's a mindset. I need positive energy. I'd like to think my DD is going through a normal period in her life. I'd like to take it easy. AM I making myself suffering?

Selfsettling3 Thu 13-Feb-20 20:17:06

1) Maybe it would be better to take her to the park or something else she would enjoy more like an unstructured toddler group.
2) You can’t leave a 2 year old unsupervised while you sleep. Why are you so tired? Why do you need a nap?
3) Try reading so how to talk so little children listen. If a child is being a danger to themselves or other then pick them up and move them.

NameChange30 Thu 13-Feb-20 20:35:39

If she's not enjoying the groups and not engaging with them, don't take her.

My DS has never really sat quietly or followed instructions, he likes the kind of groups which are unstructured and relaxed, and allow him to run around and play with whatever he wants. I take him to a play group in a church which has lots of space and different toys and activities. And to a "gym class" at a kids' gym which is not really a class at all, they let them do what they want, play on the equipment (trampolines, ball pit, soft gym equipment). And I take him out on his scooter or bike, take him to the park, give him opportunities for fresh air and freedom.

So I would advise you to stick to relaxed groups, soft play and outdoor activities. Go out reasonably early, get back home in time for an early lunch, then put her down for a nap in her cot. This means you get the full benefit of a proper rest at home. While DS was still napping, this was our daily routine and it worked really well.

As a PP said you can't nap while she's awake, it's irresponsible.

NameChange30 Thu 13-Feb-20 20:56:40

PS I recommend the book "how to talk so little kids will listen" by Joanna Faber (not to be confused by the similarly named book for older kids by Adele Faber)

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