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If you could afford to would you put your DC into childcare so you could have a break? (SAHP)

(94 Posts)
PointOfTipping Thu 13-Feb-20 16:12:51

I'm currently a SAHM on maternity leave, I'm planning on going back to work but not sure when. It will be within the next year. DD is one and we don't have family support nearby.

DH is a fairly high earner and thinks we should put DD into nursery three days a week to give me a break. I would quite like to do so but feel guilty about it too. I'd use the time she was at nursery to do housework, exercise and generally recharge my batteries. If you were in a situation to do so would you?

RB68 Thu 13-Feb-20 16:15:44

I don't see an issue with it - shorter days perhaps if you can say 9 till 4 - its educational, its good from a social point of view and you get time to sort some life stuff and do jobs you can't do with a smallie around. If its easily affordable go for it - maybe try half days and see how DD goes

winterbluues Thu 13-Feb-20 16:18:57

DD goes to Pre school two afternoons a week. She absolutely loves it and I get time to myself to get stuff done in the house. It's beneficial for the both of you and it'll help your little one socialise. Tbh I wish I'd put her in sooner, no need to feel guilty at all especially if you can afford it.

Iliketonamechangealot9876542 Thu 13-Feb-20 16:20:53

It would make transition of going back to work easier, it would mean you could also do applications / job interviews etc

PrincessHoneysuckle Thu 13-Feb-20 16:21:02


Lucylivesinamushroomhouse Thu 13-Feb-20 16:24:17

If you can afford it then go for it!! I’m a SAHP and have always had kids at childminder one day a week for a break.... we’re otherwise very frugal but we do spend money on this as it’s the one thing that most improves my quality of life. I’ve now got another baby so it’s not quite the break it used to be but before he was born I used this day to catch up on jobs, exercise, nap when I was pregnant, meet friends for coffee etc. I’m a better mum the rest of the week because of it, and we have more quality time at weekends as a family because not so many jobs to catch up on.

Also our childminder is wonderful and our kids absolutely love her, so zero guilt 😊

It’s a great idea.

Aureum Thu 13-Feb-20 16:25:12

YES. I have my DC all the time and I literally don’t exist as a person any more. I have no time for self care or things I’m interested in. I never experience a sense of engagement or flow because I can’t get absorbed in anything since I always have to keep my eye on DC. Time drags because I can only ever be superficially interested in anything due to frequent interruptions and only being able to give half my attention. I would kill for even one day a week to be myself, never mind three.

Disfordarkchocolate Thu 13-Feb-20 16:27:49

I think it's a great idea. Me, I'd probably be happy with 2 days but that's just me. I like this stage.

Think of all the books you could read (that might be just me too).

TwitcherOfCurtains Thu 13-Feb-20 16:27:59

I did and it was marvellous.

Can't see what there is to feel guilty about tbh.

EmotionalEllie Thu 13-Feb-20 16:28:11

I'd probably start with two days a week rather than three but otherwise yes I'd totally do this.

SquigglePigs Thu 13-Feb-20 16:28:14

We did a couple of months before DH went back to work. A couple of mornings a week to begin with then increased a little. Chance for some free time for DH and some time to get jobs done.

saraclara Thu 13-Feb-20 16:30:38

When my kids were small 25-28 years ago, it was the norm for kids to go to playgroup for two or three mornings a week, from two and a half/three yrs onwards. Yep, part of the deal was that parents would help out maybe once a month, but it was cheap and how kids socialised and mums got a break back then.

So yep, by putting your child in day care for a day or two a week is no different (though potentially more expensive) than what every child had in those days.

totallyradllama Thu 13-Feb-20 16:30:47

Do it - your child doesn't know whether you're at home or working!

But if he is clingy at all you may find it harder to leave him than if you're working which might not be good in the long run so you need to be totally decided it's the right thing to do

bengalcat Thu 13-Feb-20 16:31:30

Do it .

Juanmorebeer Thu 13-Feb-20 16:33:47

Hell yes

OhLook Thu 13-Feb-20 16:35:52

I did this and don't have any regret or guilt about it at all, which is more than I can for a lot of other very very minor parenting decisions!

Grandmi Thu 13-Feb-20 16:36:22

I did and it kept me sane !!

Betterversionofme Thu 13-Feb-20 16:38:38

Absolutely. Not to do housework though, you can get a cleaner for that. You don't have justify how you spend your time when you are not with your child. It's ok not to do anything. You don't need account for every minute 24/7 of your life. Going to nursery will expose your child to more kids and you will meet other parents.

lyingwanker Thu 13-Feb-20 16:46:10

I've been on single parent benefits for a couple of years now and never got a break from the youngest 2 kids. As soon as I could afford childcare I sent them. There were times I was at breaking point and really struggling, if I'd have had enough money I'd have paid a childminder but I couldn't afford it. Luckily at 2 years old there's a little playgroup for £6 a day for 2 hours, it's been my saviour!

TwitcherOfCurtains Thu 13-Feb-20 17:07:50

* You don't have justify how you spend your time when you are not with your child. It's ok not to do anything*

Totally agree.

PointOfTipping Thu 13-Feb-20 20:48:34

Thanks everyone I feel so much better reading your responses! The reason we are saying three days a week is because there's an excellent new nursery local to us and that's the minimum commitment. I would send her slightly shorter days though, maybe 9am - half four once she's settled in.

I feel really excited to get a bit of time back but worried I was being selfish because she's only just turned one. However at some point she will need to go to nursery four days a week when I start working.

JamesNesbittsBrows Thu 13-Feb-20 21:17:49

I wish I'd been able to do this. Make sure you do something you love, something that makes you feel like you and not 'Mum'.

Heartofglass12345 Thu 13-Feb-20 21:42:58

It's a brilliant idea, especially if she needs to go when you go back to work anyway, at least you can sort out any teething problems now rather than when you have to worry about work as well. She'll love it, most kids do!

Pipandmum Thu 13-Feb-20 21:50:40

My son went to childcare at five months when I returned to work. I gave up work when pregnant with my second, but kept my son in all day nursery two days a week. Then when my daughter was one she went two days and he went three days. They both enjoyed it, had fun, made friends and I got time off. I think it's never too early to learn the rules of the playground, and it made the transition to reception (which was all day from day one) a breeze. It cost more than I would have earned but my husband earned enough and we considered it well worth it.

KellyHall Thu 13-Feb-20 21:58:40

In a heartbeat, yes!

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