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Stay st home mums rant

(15 Posts)
oldhen Fri 31-Aug-07 15:45:14

Got to get it off my chest ... why do people think I sit on my * doing nothing all day just because I do not have a PAID job? I have my "little" home business which no one takes seriously but which gives me a lot of pleasure, run around after 2 kids & a hubby who is rarely home, yet people still think they can "give" me jobs to do like mending their PCs, sewing, cleaning etc as they are "too busy" because they work ?!
So tell me what I should say to the next person that says "those who stay at home all day doing nothing ..." 'cos I am having a hard day !

sweetcat Fri 31-Aug-07 15:51:06

what people ask you to do their jobs then?

Next time, tell them to bugger off, or ask them if they'd like to swap jobs!

mishymoo Fri 31-Aug-07 16:03:32

Well said Sweetcat.... tell them to sod off!

LazyLinePainterJane Fri 31-Aug-07 16:07:13

well.....if you will let people walk all over you....

mishymoo Fri 31-Aug-07 16:11:35

You should read pyjamagirls thread title Only Joking: Just a mum from 29th Aug! It will make you smile.

I would have copied the link in here but I don't know how to do it! Tried and it wouldn't work.... doah!

Bex24 Fri 31-Aug-07 16:20:28

Ask them if they would ask a paid nanny/cleaner/cook to do their jobs for them and if not, why is it any different for you?!!

Or if you're not that confrontational, just cry a little bit and tell them your blood pressure is getting really high...

oldhen Fri 31-Aug-07 16:35:48

"what people ask you to do their jobs then? "
Neighbours, family & friends ...

"if you will let people walk all over you"
Maybe I need some assertiveness training. Maybe it says doormat on my forehead. Maybe they are all too stupid to sew, mend their own pcs & clean their own mess.
Maybe I need to set an hourly rate & tell them I will bill them?

"why is it any different for you?!! "
It would appear my time is not precious & not worth as much as theirs. I almost feel like going out to work so I can say "I'm too busy/tired; I work !" but I love staying at home looking after my kids & doing my own thing. I am wondering if some people are just jealous that I can make this choice in life.

"pyjamagirls thread title Only Joking: Just a mum"
Done a search - can't find it but would like to read it. Was it censored?

claricebeansmum Fri 31-Aug-07 16:37:31

DS (11) asked me today whilst we were out shopping why I didn't work.

Nearly pushed him down the escalator but counted to 10 and explained it was me or a nanny.

He has been very nice to me all day! grin

It is depressing oldhen when there is the assumption that I just sit and eat chocolates all dy infront of the TV.

oldhen Fri 31-Aug-07 16:47:30

Ok - push them down the escalator, tell them to buggar off & sod off ... what else?
How can I get out of the doormat zone?

RGPargy Fri 31-Aug-07 16:56:50

Oh i cant wait to be a SAHM when this baby comes along. I am DEFFO going to be sitting in front of the telly watching Jezza Kyle and eating chocolates, because EVERYONE knows that's ALL SAHMs do every day anyway.


mishymoo Fri 31-Aug-07 19:10:52

Hi Oldhen

I have found the thread but still can't insert it I cut and pasted it - so here goes.......


A woman, renewing her driver's license at the Motor Registration office, was asked by the counter clerk to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is," explained the counter clerk, "do you have a job or are you just a ...?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.

"I'm a Mum."

"We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," Said the clerk emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Medicare office.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to isagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mum." Motherhood!

What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations"
And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?"
I think so!!!

I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."


fizzylemonade Fri 31-Aug-07 19:27:18

I renewed my car insurance recently and they didn't have 'housewife' in the drop down box for occupation so I had to choose 'unemployed' hmm

LazyLinePainterJane Fri 31-Aug-07 20:24:10

To expand on my point, if people give you these jobs to do, and you do them, then it follows that people will think that you have plenty of time on you hands.

Simply refuse and tell them that you have enough to do, raising a family and running your business.

People will respond to the way that you represent yourself. Do not let anyone put your business or your SAHM status down. Be loud and proud about it, other people will fall in line.

pointydog Fri 31-Aug-07 20:33:10

Your neighbours and friends ask you to sew and clean?

That sounds a bit odd. Charge 'em.

Sidge Sat 01-Sep-07 09:50:22

Fizzylemonade - I usually put "work full time" in those situations, because I do!! (Anyone who thinks a SAHM isn't working FT has never done it grin)

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