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Out of curiosity - could you leave an 8 week old baby to go away for a few days with DH?

(272 Posts)
helenelisabeth Fri 31-Aug-07 09:39:39

This is not for me by the way! My friend has just had a baby 8 weeks ago and I was gobsmacked that she has left the baby with her parents and gone away already. Is this normal and I am too over the top with my children to think that leaving them this young is not right? It's not her first child but even so, does anyone else think this is a bit young to be left?

fillyjonk Fri 31-Aug-07 09:40:47

no i couldn't

WideWebWitch Fri 31-Aug-07 09:41:40

No, it's not too young imo. Some people would, some people couldn't or wouldn't want to but if she wants to and has lovely childcare in the form of the baby's grandparents, whyever shouldn't she?

I had a lovely weekend away with my dh when our dd was very small. We needed it.

lulumama Fri 31-Aug-07 09:41:43

don't think it is a question of normal / not normal. IFYSWIM, but i personally could not have done, nor did i
we all have different comfort zones

fillyjonk Fri 31-Aug-07 09:42:14

i don't know if its RIGHT or not though

I suppose whats right depends on the individual

for example, some mothers are hospitalised after birth due to (am going to spell this wrong) puerparal psychosis (?) .

In the US I think maternity leave is only about 6 weeks.

So I think it depends.

WideWebWitch Fri 31-Aug-07 09:42:29

And it's only a few days.
Why are you 'gobsmacked'?
Are you inviting us to judge her perchance?

WideWebWitch Fri 31-Aug-07 09:43:18

So I guess in answer to the OP, yes, I could. But I understand not everyone would want to and that's fair enough.

FrannyandZooey Fri 31-Aug-07 09:43:35

I couldn't, no

is it always wrong to judge people on how they treat their children?

CountessDracula Fri 31-Aug-07 09:44:06

I went away for a week with dh when dd was 4 months

so shoot me grin

I came back a new person who had recovered from her 9 hour general anaesthetic and 12 litre blood transfusion and was capable of being a good parent to her dd rather than a zombie...

CountessDracula Fri 31-Aug-07 09:45:21

No franny, not if they are abusing them

If they are leaving them in good care and they are warm and fed and loved then yes it is wrong, everyone can make their own decisions about how they live their lives (not that it will stop mnetters judging of course)

moonshine Fri 31-Aug-07 09:45:27

I think it's actually easier to leave them at this age than when they are older and notice your absence more. As they long as the baby is fine and being fed and loved where's the problem?

helenelisabeth Fri 31-Aug-07 09:46:51

Wickedwaterwitch - I was "gobsmacked" because it is something I could not do! I would never "judge" anyone else's actions over how they deal with their DC but I was surprised that she "could" leave such a young baby. Just something I would not do hence I was wondering whether I was abnormal! Don't get me wrong, a few days away would be bliss!

JeremyVile Fri 31-Aug-07 09:49:22

I probably 'couldn't' have done it myself but if I could have then I'm sure it would have done me the world of good.

Good luck to your friend, she'll probably miss her baby loads but I definitely dont think she has done anything wrong.

helenelisabeth Fri 31-Aug-07 09:50:41

Also I think if you have grandparents who are willing to mind your two DC for a few days makes all the difference. My parents do not have the health and my MIL would never do it in a million years - probably one of the reasons why I could not do it, my mind is programmed not to even ask!

FrannyandZooey Fri 31-Aug-07 09:51:08

Well I do make judgements about other people according to what they do with their children

it is a very important part of who they are IMO and you can learn a lot about a person from observing how they are with their children / what decisions they make about their care

so shoot me

hippopotamouse Fri 31-Aug-07 09:53:28

I went out for dinner for the first time about 8 weeks after my first child was born and cried for a whole hour before going home! Couldn't leave him at all!(PFB ALERT!blush)

I think if it's not her first child she knows that the baby will be fine if she leaves it with GP's for a few days, something I didn't!

Now I have two I'm always trying to get someone to take them wink and dream about going away for a few days!

expatinscotland Fri 31-Aug-07 09:54:00

No, I couldn't do this.

WideWebWitch Fri 31-Aug-07 09:54:25

F&Z so would you judge me and CD then? We both left small babies with loving grandparents and went off with our husbands. Fair enough to judge people who beat their children or <insert heinous crime here> but going away with your dh for a few days? Hmm.

EscapeFrom Fri 31-Aug-07 09:55:26

I personally couldn't, but I don't feel there is anything wrong with it.

Actually, I would have happily left ds2.

FrannyandZooey Fri 31-Aug-07 09:55:57

Yes I judge everyone to some extent according to what I see them do in their lives and I think it is bollocks to say that most people don't

I haven't said what my opinion would be about someone who does this, but I would form an opinion about it, yes

WideWebWitch Fri 31-Aug-07 09:57:35

yes but the fact that you're talking about it F&Z makes me think though that you would and do judge anyone who did this! Which seems like a resonable assumption on my part...'you would form an opinion' - hmm, what opinion would you form or aren't you prepared to say?

Pruners Fri 31-Aug-07 09:58:08

Message withdrawn

JeremyVile Fri 31-Aug-07 09:58:32

Do you really think that this scenario is evidence of anything? I cant see how it can provide you with an opinion on the mother/parents.
They have gone away for a few days, felt able to do so, so did. What more than that can be assumed?

shreddies Fri 31-Aug-07 09:59:05

I would be gobsmacked and there is no way I could have done it. But if she is desperate for a break then I sort of understand. Sort of hmm

mm22bys Fri 31-Aug-07 09:59:14


I thought I could, but when the time came, I couldn't do it.

It was our tenth wedding anniversary when DS2 was 6 weeks old, and our parents were here, and we thought it would be OK for DPs to look after the DSs, for only two nights.

When the time came, we just couldn't do it, even though it was our 10th, it would be our parents looking after the DSs.

Each to his / her own, but WE just couldn't do it...

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