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Please help!

(4 Posts)
xxxbabyno1 Tue 14-Jan-20 23:54:00

Hi all,

I'm having a seriously hard time with my ex partner - my baby is 5 and a half weeks old, I have given my ex set day & times to visit which suit around his work schedule. When he's here I run to the shops, shower, nap or watch tv in bed and let him spend time with his son.

However, he won't listen to me about my sons routine etc he always has to 'be right' and if I ask him to do something he hits back with it know what I'm doing' - bear in mind he spend around 16 hours a week with the baby where as I am here 24/7 so I know all his little quirks etc.

Anyway, he's constantly late - sometimes calling an hour before he's meant to be here saying he'll be 2 hours late or walking in 15 minutes late with a take away for himself which he sits and eats before even looking at the baby. I've asked him repeatedly to stick to the routines which I have put in place as I do every night myself and it's easier for me when the routine is solid and little one sleeps longer. He ignores me and does his own thing hitting back with 'he's my son, I know what I'm doing, stop telling me what to do'
Also told him several times to stop 'co-sleeping' as he regularly falls asleep with baby on his chest or cuddled in on the couch, a couple times I've had to shake him to wake him up as he's in such a deep sleep with baby pulled in tight. And again the reply is 'I'll do what I want and I'll continue to sleep like this with him' even though I've literally begged him not to.

Please help, I don't know what else to do I've gave him so many chances but I simply don't trust him with my baby!! He plays dad of the year saying he fights to see him but I've never once stopped him from seeing him I just want a routine, sticking to times & for him to listen to me when I say what's best for my son.

Really hope someone has the answer on here!!

TheSheepofWallSt Wed 15-Jan-20 00:01:13

You need to arrange a health visitor visit for a time when your ex is there.
Ask the health visitor to talk to him about safe cosleeping.

The rest (ignoring routine etc) is annoying- but not negligent.

Deliberately co sleeping unsafely is negligent and I’d be telling him you will deny access if needs be.

TheSheepofWallSt Wed 15-Jan-20 00:04:12

Oh and make a point of telling the HV, in front of him if you can trust that he won’t become violent etc., what’s going on with him, explicitly.

GreenTulips Wed 15-Jan-20 00:04:30

No wonder he’s an ex!

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