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Potty training toddler refusing to poo

(7 Posts)
Smurfy23 Tue 14-Jan-20 09:58:43

We started potty training dd 2.5 three and a half weeks ago. All was well at the start- the odd accident here and there but was going well for the first two weeks with both wees and poos. Then last week it all seemed to go wrong and I dont really know why- she just started refusing to do a poo even though she clearly needed to. You can see her straining to hold them in and she ended up soiling herself a few times last week as she was clearly unable to. All she will say is that she doesnt want to or it's too hard for her and then starts screaming. I gave her some lactulose over the weekend as it had been 5 days since she had done a proper poo and that has cleared her out and I thought would help her get over her fears as it made it easier to poo but it hasnt and we seem to be back to square one again. I've tried bribery and praise. I've tried putting emphasis on her trying rather than pooing. I tried to just ignore it and let it happen. None of them seem to work....

Any tips?! I'm finding it really hard to stay calm on this one!

For info- she is a really articulate and strong-willed toddler (no idea where she gets that from....grin).

rbmilliner Tue 14-Jan-20 11:32:07

I had a similar experience with my dd. She's always been a bit touch and go with pooing anyway and like you I was worry - and still do (never thought I'd be so concerned about another persons bowl movementssmile)
I don't know if this could work for you but we resorted to old fashioned bribery and said that she could watch the octonauts on the i-pad whilst she was on the pottery but the i-pad would only work if she tried to have poo. It seemed to work but realised probably the best form of encouragement.
Also tried it with a magazine that she really liked and left it in the loo so could read when she went for a poo. Had to sit with her and read it to her but I think it was just sitting for a while in that position that made it unavoidable.
It has taken a while but she has become a lot more relaxed about it and even goes at nursery so try to stay calm - i know it's worrying.

KidCaneGoat Tue 14-Jan-20 11:33:36

Have you seen Poo goes to Pooland? I used to only let my DC watch it when he was on the toilet.

INeedNewShoes Tue 14-Jan-20 11:46:14

Firstly, mainly posting for solidarity as potty training can be tough going! We are in a similar situation. DD is 2.8 and we started potty training (too early) at 2.1. Wees are sorted and she is happy to wee in the potty or toilet and that side of things is easy to manage now.

Poos have been tricky since day 1. We had a phase of a few weeks of her sitting on the potty 'trying' and then within ten minutes of giving up she was pooing in her knickers. I then became worried about her starting to withhold pooing so I decided to back-pedal the potty training for poos and give her the choice of whether she does it in the potty or in a pull-up. I now leave a pull-up by the potty so she can go and choose which she's going to use (she's independent - something I've learned is that she is more likely to poo if I'm not in the room).

I actually posted my own thread on here a few days ago as I was at the end of my tether as waiting for her to do a poo before we go out or before bed has started to take over our lives and I completely lost my temper with DD (after months of being very patient) after yet another bath went cold while we waited for her to do a poo.

I am completely horrified that I shouted at her so horribly and immediately afterwards regretted it and was sure it would make things worse but she's since done poos in the potty three days in a row, so something I said perhaps got through to her. I do NOT recommend this as a course of action though. What I do recommend is keeping it as stress free as possible - if your DD doesn't want to poo in the potty, let her use a pull up. Staff at nursery say that kids often take a while to accept using potty/toilet for poo.

Smurfy23 Tue 14-Jan-20 20:29:06

Thank you all. Glad to know its not just me at least!!

It's so hard to stay calm when a 3 foot tyrant with skid Mark's in her pants is screaming at me that she doesnt need to do a poo!! grin

Had some success today- We were out and I could see her wincing so bribed her to go to the loo and less refused to leave til she had done one. Had downloaded poo goes home to poo land so we watched that (and bickered a bit about how she clearly did need to go) and then she finally did so high 5's all round. Tomorrow is another day though and am under no illusions this is solved!!

chocolatelover9 Tue 14-Jan-20 22:16:08

My DD wouldnt do a poo on the toilet either but I got her favourite teddy and did a little voice as if the teddy was talking and she held the teddy's hand and she eventually done a poo so myself and the teddy cheered and clapped hands and she has no problem going now. Also if it hurts when she goes maybe try giving her orange juice smile

MiniEggAddiction Wed 15-Jan-20 08:55:05

Bribery is one way but might not work when kids get super anxious about pooing.

Try putting a nappy over the potty so they're pooing into the nappy. Have them sit on the potty watching a show or something when you suspect they need to go but don't put pressure on to actually poo.

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