My son says no one wants to play with him

[LineDad]

My 5 year old son came back from reception today and told his mum that no one wants to play with him. My wife (his mum) asked him why and he response was that they’re scared of him.

It’s quite upsetting for all of us. He has had speech and language problems diagnosed from the age of about 3. We’ve gone through the normal procedures and he has had therapy however his progression has always been quite slow. He is very emotional. He cries at the smallest thing and can have outbursts where he shouts if his little brother happens to interrupt his play or does something that annoys him. I’m wondering whether this behaviour is the reason other kids are scared of him.

He’s a lovely boy but I think because of the speech delay he may be having trouble integrating with the class. I’m not sure if he may have just had a bad day because he has two friends and whenever I’ve seen him with them they get on like a house on fire.

Has anyone had any experience similar to this? I’d be grateful for any feedback or advice.

[BackforGood]

Obviously we can't judge as to a) that is actually what is happening b) if it were happening, if that is why it is happening, (his perception may be very different from what adults are seeing) so you really need to make an appointment to go and talk to his teacher, and maybe ask if the SENCo can attend too.
Where a child finds it difficult to make them self understood, it can be incredibly frustrating, and often can lead to challenging behaviour.
You say your ds is emotional ? I would ask the school about his, and about how he responds to situations and if there is an support the school can give to help.

[LineDad]

My wife is going to speak to his teacher in the morning about having a meeting. We have had appointments with his consultant paediatrician who although isn’t overly concerned about him but is pushing for an Edpsyche assessment. She fees there may be signs of high functioning autism. The whole process is very slow though.

I can see his frustration sometimes when he is trying to explain something but he can’t find the words. He kind of explains things in a jumbled way, and I can often understand what he is trying to say but others may not understand him and that must be incredibly frustrating for him.

[Claire543210]

I have no real advise for you but I really feel for your little boy. It must be so frustrating and upsetting for him. Like others have said liase with the school and maybe ask if you can start to have a weekly chat with his teacher, bit of a progress report. While I can understand these outburst are for him completely warranted, you must let him know this is not acceptable behaviour because if this is the reason why kids are scared of him it needs to be addressed (for the sake of your boy). I hope it all works out

[BackforGood]

We have had appointments with his consultant paediatrician who although isn’t overly concerned about him but is pushing for an Edpsyche assessment. She fees there may be signs of high functioning autism. The whole process is very slow though.

Really annoys me when Paediatricians suggest things like this to parents, without understanding the system, or the criteria.
Why would the Paediatrician be pushing for an Ed Psych Assessment if she feels your little one has autism ? An EP can't diagnose a medical condition - that has to come from the Paediatrician.

The EP can lead an assessment of Educational need, but the school will need to priortise the children on the waiting list, and will need to demonstrate what they have 'been doing differently' to meet your ds's additional needs.
This is why you need to sit down with the Teacher and the SENCo and ask about which areas specifically he is struggling with, and how they are differentiating to meet those needs. This should all be recorded, to start gathering evidence now of how much or how little progress he makes with the support the school can give, to see whether he will, in the future, need further support than that , or if he 'catches up' towards his peers with that additional support within school.