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Is it wrong to tease?

(11 Posts)
auntysocial Mon 27-Aug-07 19:53:46

My 8 year old son has recently become a huge fan of harry potter although he's only seen the first film.
Anyway I noticed him watching it over and over again but fast fowarding to the bits with Hermoine in...so naturally my other DS teased him saying he only likes HP because he fancies Hermoine lol

I laughed along too and said something like "she's pretty, no need to get embarrassed" and he pretending to attack me but was laughing too so I assumed he was taking it in good humour.

Anyway today he mentioned her and I said "oh yes, your girlfriend" and he laughed and attacked me (pretended to) and my mum said I shouldnt tease him about stuff like that as it will give him "issues" when he's older and may stop him confiding in me.

Is it wrong to tease when the "victim" knows you're only playing?

(as I type he's watching the film again, fast fowarded to part where they get on the train lol)

beansprout Mon 27-Aug-07 19:55:04

I would have thought that the whole girlfriend bit is going to become a fraught area soon enough, so teasing him isn't really going to help.

dustystar Mon 27-Aug-07 19:58:07

We tease a lot in our house. Most of the time the children like it and take it well but sometimes they make it clear that they don't and we stop. Sometimes its the subject matter sometimes just their mood. If he isn't upset by the teasing then i doubt there's a problem

OriginalUglyBetty Mon 27-Aug-07 20:00:06

They can become sensitive about it, although im sure he was aware that you were only playing.

If he's doing it again it obviously didnt bother him too much grin

I do the same with Daniel Craig's beach scene in James Bond so to me its only natural! blushsmile

LucyJones Mon 27-Aug-07 20:01:43

When I was an awkward and painfully shy teenager I had a brace and therefore had a lisp for a while. My mum used to do a really bad impression of me in front of her friends. The fact that I still remember speaks for itself....

But i think in this instance it was fine as your ds took it well.

EscapeFrom Mon 27-Aug-07 20:03:34

funny you shoudl bring this up, my parents NEVER teased e about any boys, and I thought it must be completely unacceptable to them for me to fancy boys - a gentle tease could let your son know it's ok to have a crush and that you know all about it.

dustystar Mon 27-Aug-07 20:04:12

I think that the audience thing is partly it lucy. its one thing to gently tease behind closed doors but teasing in front of others, like friends, is very different.

heifer Mon 27-Aug-07 20:07:11

nothing wrong with gentle teasing in my book..

Agree not in front of others though.. what can seem funny inside the home, will not get the same reaction outside..


I can tell with my DD (3.8) if she is happy for me to tease her or not, so go by your instincts.

Your DS sounds as though he liked it and knew you were only joking etc.

professorplum Mon 27-Aug-07 20:09:30

I think teaseing a boy about girls could blow up in your face. In a few years he will be full of testosterone and sexual energy. Its a hugely confusing time and he might want to feel he can talk to someone without them taking the piss.

pointydog Mon 27-Aug-07 20:14:46

I think teasing is a very individual thing. We tease in the Dog family for a bit of fun but I pick up very quickly (or am told in most crabby terms) if the teasing is not appreciated.

As long as there is love and humour and sensitivity behind it, it's fine. We enjoy it.

However, NEVER tease in front of other people. That is strictly VERBOTEN. That never ever goes down well.

cornsilk Mon 27-Aug-07 20:24:09

My dad used to tease me about liking boys and I hated it.It made me reluctant to bring boyfriends home as I felt he didn't take me seriously. I don't think it's a good idea.

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