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Two year age gap - how difficult is it?

(15 Posts)
Lordashley Sat 25-Aug-07 13:43:14

Have just found out that I am expecting no.2. DD will be a month off two when it is born (assuming all goes well). The small age gap was a bit of accident - we did want a second but hadn't quite meant to do it all again so soon. DD was a VERY difficult baby, so the thought of going there again is filling me with dread. Can anyone give me some reassurance about having two so close together? How was it for you?

Bubbaloo Sat 25-Aug-07 13:52:52


I've got a 22 month gap and I love it.Ds1 has always been a good baby/toddler and ds2 seems to be following in his fargrin.Must admit ds1 didn't take any notice of ds2 for quite a while(he's now 19 weeks old),but now he'll sit and play with him,give him toys,and talk to him.He's also quite happy to sit and have his picture taken with him too,but refuses point blank to kiss him goodnight but also says good morning to him,breakfast time.I was honestly dreading a small gap,but it has turned out really well and we're even thinking about ttc again,fairly soonshock.

fawkeoff Sat 25-Aug-07 13:56:01

my sil had her 2nd dd 13 moths after 2st dd....she coped, you just have to.dd was nearly 3 when i had ds and i did everything differantly than with dd as she was a complete nightmare.experience is on your side and its all fresh so dont worry x

moodlumthehoodlum Sat 25-Aug-07 13:58:33

I have a 15month age gap between mine and it is hard work, but I have never known anything else so assume this is the only way! I think that a close age gap is good in the long term, mine are now 3.4 and 2 and are great mates - as someone in the same situ said the other day - its like having a friend to play with all the time. The good thing is that even if you have a boy and a girl they will soon like more or less the same toys. But this is also the downside as they squabble over everything because they both want it. I buy two of everything - from dolls to trains - and they play beautifully most of the time!

Good luck!!

moodlumthehoodlum Sat 25-Aug-07 14:00:34

Oh, and dd was quite a difficult baby, but ds was a dream. Ate, slept and generally was brilliant all through the difficult bits! I think dc2 usually do, as they just have to fit in!

nailpolish Sat 25-Aug-07 14:00:41

my 2 dds are now 4.5 and 2.5 (2yrs and 1 week difference) and they relly are the best f friends. they even sleep together in the same bed
(although they have their own!)
they have lots of fun together (although they argue a lot too) and they miss each other (especially now dd1 is at school)

i am 24 mhts older than my brother and we are very close so i kind of planned to have the same age difference with my girls

dont worry about it at all! it hard at first, especially if you are a sahm and have both of them all day every day, both in nappies, you worry about buggis etc (i ahd a single buggy and a seat-to-go) but it gets better as they get older

Lordashley Sat 25-Aug-07 14:08:22

Thanks for the v. quick replies! I'm feeling more positive already.

I have no experience of small age gaps, and neither does DH - 12 years between my brother and I and 5 years between DH and his sister. I am not very close to my brother, and DH and sister are not best pals either. I do think it will be really good for DD to have a sibling so close in age.

But I was so hopeless at coping with DD when knackered during the 1st 6 months. Mind you, the second one can't be any harder - DD fought sleep, was a terribly fussy BFeeder, had reflux, wouldn't nap for more than 45mins in the day and only in the sling...!

AnnieOleHouseElf Sat 25-Aug-07 14:17:34

You will be fine! As everyone else said, they will be great pals. My two are 15 months apart and just adore each other. The first was just young enough too to know no jealousy, it's as if there's always been two of them.
It is hard, but it's already hard anyway with just the one, so it's not any harder with two!
And you are much more prepared this time round, therefore more relaxed, therefore an easier baby (Promise!)

Best of Luck

funnypeculiar Sat 25-Aug-07 14:50:19

ds & dd are 25 mths apart ... and it was FINE - honestly, really fine. Ds was a crap sleeper, and tbh, dd hasn't been brilliant, but I coped SO much better with the second one - partly, you know some 'tricks' and partly you just have some perspective on it - you know that at SOME point they will eat/sleep etc etc.

Ours was a bit of an accident as well, but I can only remember two incidents when they were both crying simultaneously & I regretted it grin

alipiggie Sat 25-Aug-07 14:59:44


My two boys are fabulous together - 18mnths apart and that was planned. It was hard work to start with, but is now well worth it and has been for at least the last 2yrs. They are the best of pals and I hope remain so for the rest of their lives.

For the first few months, just make sure you accept any help that is offered .

blissieblue Sat 25-Aug-07 21:19:30

2 years and 10 days between my two DSs and it is hard work but then DS2 is only 20 weeks old and of course it's going to be hard at first.
DS1 was very upset with me after DH went back to work following paternity leave and he realised this was for real and the squawking bundle was here to stay. I had a tough couple of months but things have settled down beautifully and I'm really looking forward to them being good friends and playing together when they are older (hopefully).
DS1 was also a very difficult baby and i have surprised myself at how well I have coped with DS2 who has been a nightmare at times too. I'm just much more relaxed and as someone else has said you know this time passes so quickly that you just get on with it and remember to enjoy it too.
Good luck - you won't ever regret it.

faylisa Sat 25-Aug-07 21:26:17

I have 21 months between my DD and DS. DS is now 10 weeks old and to be honest it was really hard work to start with, but I'm sure it would've been just as hard work if the gap had been 3 years. But, just as it did with DD, it is getting easier now DS is settling into slightly more of a routine.

And DD thinks he is wonderful - keeps kissing him, asking where he is and telling me that she loves him. There is also the odd kick or poke but mostly to get my attention not because she dislikes him!

I'm really please I had them close together as they will have each other to play with as they get older. Good luck smile

melpomene Mon 27-Aug-07 00:22:49

Almost exactly 2 years between my dds. Before dd2 was born, I was expecting it to be very hard, but it turned out to be a lot easier than I'd expected. I made the most of the time when dd2 was sleeping to get things done with dd1, and also used a Huggababy sling to carry dd2 (and even bf her) whilst playing with dd1 or out and about.

We had a few hairy moments (simultaneous leaky nappies / tantrums) but dd1 enjoyed being a big sister.

The hardest period was when dd2 started to crawl. DD1 seemed to feel threatened by this, now that dd2 was more of a competitor and interfering with her toys. However, we got through that sticky patch and when dd2 was 18 months or so they started to really play together; they are now real friends and companions. Of course they have their squabbles and frustrations, but there is a real bond and it warms my heart to watch dd1 trying to teach dd2 something, or to watch them dancing together holding hands, or to hear dd2 saying to dd1 "I love you VERY MUCH!"

loler Mon 27-Aug-07 03:58:36

I've got 22 months between dd and ds - agree with most of what's been said on here. dd was a dream baby ds was a shock as he wasn't so I did find it harder the second time. However in the grand scheme of things it's only for a short time.

Also found the point at which ds could walk tricky and also now buy 2 of everything. Find that they either squable or gang unp on me! But the gap can't be that bad as being induced with no.3 tomorrow (ds now 2.3).

Congratulations and enjoy your pg before the work really starts!

Lordashley Mon 27-Aug-07 20:19:38

Thanks for all the happy words! I'm now really looking forward to having two close together and am simply bracing myself for the first few months.

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