Parents of older children - did you have a "gentle" toddler, and how did they turn out?(14 Posts)
No mine was a mad lunatic but is starting to quieten down now age 12.
ds1 very gentle around other children in terms of toys but severely autistic so not much comparison. He's starting to stand his ground now aged 8 thak god.
DS2 very gentle, aged 5 is still a bit of a wuss at time (still likes things to be 'comfy'- he's like an old man) but because completely boyish and very competitive when he started school. He seems to get on well socially at school with older and younger children, his teacher said she thought it was partly because he's quite enthusiastic and laid back, so he tends to get on with others.
DS3 is a nutter. Although ds2 can be a little bit sly at times. So ds3 will fly off the handle, fly through the air and punch ds2 (literally) but 9 times out of 10 it's because ds2 has done something out of order, just very quietly. He only does that with ds3 though, presume its standard sibling stuff. I tell them both to behave (i.e. I don't assume that ds3 has always acted unprovoked).
I am sure that he will be fine. He will learn to use language to negiotate with children rather than fists.
My DS (now 24!!!!!!) was a quiet, gentle boy but he could and did stick up for himself if he needed to. This was rarely when someone took a toy, which just didn't bother him, but if someone hurt his little sister or another of the smaller children he'd get very agressive! He'd defend himself as well though he didn't seem to mind being thumped as much as if a smaller child was thumped IYSWIM!
He was always popular with the smaller children, mainly because he was very gentle and caring of them but he could and did make friends with his peers too!
During his teenage years he developed more of a temper but he tended just to shout and stomp about rather than resorting to physical stuff.
Now he is a devoted and cuddly dad (though he can still be quite shouty when it comes to disapline!)
I'm very proud of my gentle DS and I don't think it has ever caused him a problem!
DS1 was like that too - he was very quiet and wouldn't fight back at all - if anything he didn't have enough confidence.
He's nearly 7 and now - and thankfully his confidence is growing - but still very laid back and quiet - but was very popular at nursery, and even more so at school.
I had a gentle toddler, who is now a gentle little boy of 7. It's lovely.
Had a gentle toddler and he's now a very sweet and gentle and lovely ten yr old !
DS was the most gentle of toddlers/little boys. Used to spend literally hours with DD2 when she was a baby (couldn't move 'cos she was in a hip spica). I used to prop her up and he would bring toy after toy and pull funny faces and generally caper and cavort around to get her to giggle (and was absolutely delighted when he succeeded). There is only 19 months between them.
Only once, at nursery, did he show that he could be tough when neccessary. An older boy had DD2 pinned to the ground and was knocking seven bells out of her and he pushed the lad off and proceeded to give him a "taste of his own".
He is 14 now and, in some ways he is a typical boy, ie he enjoys watching sport (but does seem better playing the ones which are not so aggressive, tennis/cricket rather than rugby/hockey.) He has, however, proved to have a very artistic temprement.
All my kids are talented musicians (probably owing to there always having been so much music in the house) but he is the only one I would tentatively describe as "gifted". He could make me cry when playing his 'cello when he was only 7.
He is quick to sympathise with others in trouble and argues very eloquently rather than fights with his sisters when in conflict. He is always the first to notice if I or DH are looking tired or worried and the first to offer help or solace if he can. This doesn't mean that his sisters are uncaring, far from it, just that he is most receptive and "in tune" (no pun intended) with others around him.
All in all, I couldn't wish for a better son and I love him to bits. DH was a little worried that he might turn out to be gay and did try occasionally to get him to "toughen up" but he's now taking more than a keen interest in the opposite sex so no worries there (though it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest!)
My gentle toddler is now a sweet, witty, popular, intuitive and independent 12 year old.
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