DS is 14 mths. DH is usually brilliant with him, plays with him, loves him to bits. But now that DS is moving into the toddler stage with some of his behaviour, DH loses his temper really quickly. In the past few weeks he has smacked DS twice, although I am VERY anti-smacking, which he knows and agreed to before we had DS that we would never smack. Both times I believed that l that DH was smacking because of how angry he was rather than because it was a parenting strategy and we had a row about it both times. We talk about it, but it ends up being confrontational - DH saying I'm too soft on DS, and makes it clear that he thinks it's me who (quote) 'just sits there doing nothing while he tears the place apart' - but I don't think there's any point doing anything other than distraction, 'no', and in very strong cases, a 1 minute time out eg for biting repeatedly after being told 'no', and most of the time I genuinely believe that the best thing to do is ignore it & remain calm. It's stressing me out - I'm trying to make everyone happy and I can't... It also makes me sad because my parents used to hit me in anger, which is why I'm so anti-smacking. I feel like I'm not protecting DS enough, but DH is nothing like my Dad... I just feel so conflicted, and there is this undercurrent in my relationship with DH now. eg yesterday he said 'You're so much better with him than I am, I just get so angry' which was plainly a peace offering. And I replied 'Yes, I heard you call him a 'little bastard' yesterday when he threw the Calpol at you. Just remember where he heard that word when he comes out with it at nursery.' Urg, what a mess. Is this just me?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
DH loses his temper with DS, and I feel caught in the middle (long)
14 replies
thebecster · 23/08/2007 14:43
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.