Struggling with two under 3(6 Posts)
Hi guys! I'm really struggling to cope at the moment. I Have a 14 weeks old baby and a three year old son. All I seem to do is shout at him. I feel so awful, before the baby came along I loved having days off with him but now I just can't cope. I feel like I don't have the time to enjoy both of my children. I will be feeding the baby and my son will want a cuddle but I can't, I'm feeding so he will go off and be naughty and I'll loose my temper. Really he just wanted a cuddle. my partner works nights and my son hasn't ever slept very well and will always come in with me half way through the night but sometimes he won't go back to sleep then the next day he's terrible. My fuse is so sort. I'm not fun for him at all anymore, I feel like I just push him away. I'm a terrible mother. Honestly I'm really struggling. I would never regret having my baby but I do miss the days so much of when it was me and my son. I'm so lost and not the person I use to be.
Hi meandmy2, please don’t worry, I had 21 months between my two and I felt exactly like you have said above in a nutshell. I promise it will pass but it is a tough time for everyone especially you because of lack of sleep. If you have anyone to help you just ask for as much help as you can, that’s all you can do. It’s really not easy. Take care of yourself. X
Hi Op exactly as PP just mentioned there's 23 months between my two and it was hard going I was exactly the same with my DS when DD was born early this year it was such hard work trying to juggle the two in the early weeks and I felt like I was constantly telling and shouting at my little boy more it does get easier specially when baby is a couple of months older
My children are 28 months apart so dd was 2 when ds was born. Felt completely the same as you. Until lo can crawl and interact a bit with elder one its hard- although let's be honest every stage has its challenges. Does your son go to nursery? If not I'd put him in 5 mornings or 2 full days etc. Gives you time to sleep when baby does and get a bit organised for eldest one coming home. I had a special box for when I was feeding with colouring toys jigsaw etc in to keep eldest occupied. The lack of sleep alone is torture so if u can work on that do it..... but I had a cosleeper too at that age. I survived... just! But honestly they're a few years older now and the best of friends- it does pass xx
It is tough!
At that age, I got my ds to get a book and we’d spend feeding the baby time as reading too.
Have a little ‘family cuddle’ so you can use one hand.
Go out as much as you can as the baby will probably just sleep in the pram and you can chat with your ds and let him get a bit of fresh air and a runaround. It will be good for all of you.
We would go to parks, see the ducks, the library and play groups. I n m are friends at the playgroups who had a similar set up so they would happily meet up at the parks too.
Anyone would find that hard. Take a deep breath and don't panic, you're doing fine.
Pile on the positive reinforcement for your son. Any time he behaves well, really pile on the praise about how good he's being, what a great big brother he is, how helpful he is to you.
Have designated baby-free cuddle time, just for the three year old, so he's still getting a bit of one-on-one time during the day. Make that your first priority whenever you get the baby out of your arms - just a few minutes.
My two were 19 months apart. It was pretty bad at first but I promise you, it gets much better. Now that they're 9 and 7, we're really glad that they're so close.
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