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12 year old boy and lies

(10 Posts)
ang87 Sat 30-Nov-19 22:58:42

So I've recently found out lots of things my sons lying about, he was a "good" kid until year 6. He seems to be struggling with making friends in his new senior school, and the friends he does have (I say friends more aquaintances) tend to leave him hanging or take the piss out of him through text and things.
But he's just completely changed his personality, he was a happy boy and now he is sneaky and devious. He hides so much and I'm at the end of my tether I just want him back to who he was.

Is it hormones? Is it that he's unhappy? I have tried talking asking how he is, if anything is wrong. I just don't know how to help. I've taken away his PS4 and phone, I've grounded him for lying etc but it never works....... any ideas, tips to get my happy boy back??

BillHadersNewWife Sun 01-Dec-19 06:47:08

I'd start at school. It sounds like he's being bullied OP. Make an appointment asap...he needs support.

ang87 Sun 01-Dec-19 09:10:35

That's my thoughts but he won't open up, so school here I come xx

Charles11 Sun 01-Dec-19 09:59:15

The thing is, if you start punishing him, he’ll just find more ways to be devious to avoid punishments.
He’s obviously having a hard time at school so don’t add to it at home.
Spend more time with him.
Would he be interested in any after school activities? Like sports and scouts? Maybe he can make new friends, boost his self esteem and have an outlet for his emotions.

Charles11 Sun 01-Dec-19 10:02:27

Of course, that’s in addition to going to school and find out what’s going on there.

ang87 Tue 03-Dec-19 09:14:13

I've tried after school things, he gets interested for a couple of weeks then looses all interest! I've been spending more time with him. Trying to get him to open up but he's so closed off right now. Thanks

BillHadersNewWife Tue 03-Dec-19 09:20:25

Has he got a phone? Have you gone through it recently?

HandsOffMyRights Tue 03-Dec-19 09:21:43

It's worrying that such a transformation has happened. I have two 13 year old boys and this looks like more than 'hormone'

You can't 'fix' this until you address the root cause, which I suspect, stems from school.

Please don't punish him as he could be being bullied as pp stated.

Good luck. It must be such a worry for you all and I hope this can be resolved soon.

HandsOffMyRights Tue 03-Dec-19 09:26:08

Oh and what Bill said too.

ang87 Wed 04-Dec-19 14:32:10

@HandsOffMyRights yes the change is crazy, at first I was thinking it was hormonal. But recently I've been trying to keep him and his phone for walking to/from school, and yes I've been checking it. His so called friends from senior school asked him to meet them and then sent him all around town before telling him they weren't there.
He can be to trusting with people he thinks are friends..... how do you explain not everyone is a friend? I've been in contact and waiting for an appointment with school so for now maybe I could start walking him and meeting him fro school? X

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