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I need everyone's advice... (please)

(11 Posts)
pearluniverse Fri 29-Nov-19 09:33:42

Hello everyone. So here is my situation. I recently moved into a one bedroom flat in central London with my husband. The plan was to wait to have a child in a few years time so that we would have saved up enough money to then put a deposit down for a bigger place.

However..... I feel like I just cannot wait anymore. I am broody all the time and I want a child of my own so badly so am now ttc. My only fear is that my flat is too small. Our bedroom only just fits our bed in it and I am worried, worried, worried. So here is my question: would it be unfair of me to bring a child into a small flat? How long do you think I would be able to sustain it for? Am I being selfish? I am open to every opinion.

Please note that there is a chance for us to "upgrade" to a bigger flat but that would have to be done through the council and nothing is ever certain with the council.

HellonHeels Fri 29-Nov-19 09:36:06

Er does your husband know you're TTC or have you made a unilateral decision?

imaflutteringkite Fri 29-Nov-19 09:40:43

Initially you would be fine in a small flat as babies don't take up much space. However I think a bigger issue is does your DH know you're TTC?

GrandmaSharksDentures Fri 29-Nov-19 09:41:08

What does your husband think?

pearluniverse Fri 29-Nov-19 09:53:12

@HellonHeels @imaflutteringkite @GrandmaSharksDentures sorry forgot to mention that yes, my husband is aware and we are both TTC!

El2El Fri 29-Nov-19 09:58:03

Personally think it's wrong to put yourself in a position where you'd be relying on council housing if you don't need it. That's not what the welfare state is for. How long would you need to wait to move?

greeneyedlulu Fri 29-Nov-19 10:04:46

How old are you? Plus I don't agree that babies don't take up space, they may not but all the stuff you need does, cot, pram etc. You said your bedroom just fits your bed so where will baby sleep? Basic stuff like this needs thinking through. And what if you have twins?

If you are both ready then keep trying but be very realistic, babies turn your world upside down in every which way possible, emotionally, financially etc. If you're going on maternity leave your wages will be shit unless you have a fab job that pays well so that will take you longer to save for a bigger place. Good luck x

Allotmentgarden Sun 01-Dec-19 20:07:08

We had our baby whilst living in a static caravan until they were 8 months old, because we were renovating our house. It was fine.

We had a next to me type crib but never used it- just coslept from day 1. They really don’t need much until older.

mommytheilig Mon 02-Dec-19 14:39:15

Well, about the space issue; when I had my son we spent a lot of money and time getting an apartment with two rooms, setting up a nursery, etc., and I don't think we ever once used it. He ended up sleeping in a little bassinet attached to my side of the bed, we usually just changed him on the floor on top of a towel, and the main thing that took up space was the toys and equipment, so very young, I don't think they take up much space, although you should know that a baby takes over everything anyways, so expect baby clutter in every corner. Best of luck to you both!

Cadburymarbles Mon 02-Dec-19 14:49:52

How old are you?

Do you work and do you have time to work on your career and save some money before? I understand you’re broody but tbh I’d put getting financially secure ahead of my feelings (did this myself so I do get it) for now. I only say this as you mention council housing - You are putting yourself in this situation, of needing a council flat, when you don’t need to. Especially if you’re young.

Also babies don’t take up much space. Prams etc.. do though. I presume you don’t drive due to where you live so a decent pram and bassinet will be a must.

Madaboutthem2 Mon 02-Dec-19 16:21:36

You would manage fine in a small flat with one child for a year or so. You would just have to consider things like space saving. Is there room for a cot? Is there room for a pushchair. Is there a space for a highchair? You can ask family and friends to only buy small presents for birthdays etc. You'd be surprised how much toys take over the house. When they are small you can always buy some cheap canvas draws for clothes.

When they get nearer two it might be a pain if there is no garden and not alot of space.

Talk to your partner and see what he thinks. If you are ready then you are ready. It's sometimes better to not overthink and wait. As long as there's space for essentials and you can afford a child.

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