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Terrible twos - please God help me

(12 Posts)
LoveAngel Mon 20-Aug-07 19:42:20

My son has turned into a monster in the last few weeks. He is tantrumming non stop over every bloody thing and I am really losing the will to live. All those bloody stupid parenting guides have just confused me. What's the best way to deal with a tantrumming, physically very strong child who gets so angry he frightens me....? Anyone?

LoveMyGirls Mon 20-Aug-07 19:43:11

Ignore him - easier said than done. The sooner you ignore the sooner he will learn there is no point and will give up.

LoveMyGirls Mon 20-Aug-07 19:44:51

Just think to yourself he's only doing it because he's two and thats what they do, its not because he is a monster its because he is two and its a phase he needs to get through. As long as he isnt hurting anyone then you leave him to it. If you are out and he starts strap him in the pushchair if at home leave him and he will soon calm down.

Can you elaborate on things he does? why does he frighten you?

LoveMyGirls Mon 20-Aug-07 19:46:05

Some people say to start doing something they like doing, like playing with trains, if you go and start having lots of fun playing with trains he may forget about the tantrum. Dont say come on look at these trains still ignore but talk to the trains or yourself iyswim?

LoveAngel Mon 20-Aug-07 19:50:59

Ignoring doesn't seem to work. He screams and kicks and has made himself physically sick on a few occasions.

He frightens me because he is so strong. I struggle to get him in his buggy, or to lift him up in order to remove him from a situation and bring him to another room to calm down. He lashes out, hits, kicks and screeches so loudly I dread to think what my neighbours think is going on. And the tantrums can last for an hour or more. It's absolutely wearing me down. He has only been like this for a few weeks. He has always been strong willed, but never so angry all the time.

Biglips Mon 20-Aug-07 19:54:01

is he tired when hes tantrumming? as my dd who is gonna be 3 in October tantrums when she is tired and when she does it i ignore her. Sounds horrible but it so i dont get all wounded up and wind my dd up even further.

Biglips Mon 20-Aug-07 19:54:39

or put him in his bedroom with no toys.

UCM Mon 20-Aug-07 19:55:45

Can you put him in his bedroom? I used to do this when DS was tantrumming. It was the only thing I could do as he would bang his head and all sorts.

mustrunmore Mon 20-Aug-07 19:58:14

Ds1 always has a tantrum when he's tired, and he's been doing it for maybe 18 months or so now. Only you can tell if a suggestion might work, but over the months we've done naughty step, holding and cuddling quietly till he stops(no talking), ditraction with toys etc. Not sure how we'd remove all the toys from their room for Biglips suggestion Do you have all the toys downstairs then Biglips? That would drive me insane!

LoveAngel Mon 20-Aug-07 19:58:14

Up until a few weeks ago, we always dealt with tantrums by ignoring, and if it got too bad, putting him in his room for a short period to calm down. Now ignoring doesn't work - he screams and screams until he is hoarse and wretching. Putting him in his room has a similar lack of effect. If I don't lock the door, he comes straight back out. If i lock the door, he kicks it and becomes even more hysterical. Its worse when he's tired, but can happen at any time. Today he has literally tantrummed on and off all day. God, what am I doing wrong? I can't understand why he is so angry...

Biglips Mon 20-Aug-07 20:03:07

yes most of the toys are downstairs but my living room is massive, and there are a few in her bedroom. It works for me everytime

GooseyLoosey Mon 20-Aug-07 20:06:48

With ds who was large and wriggly, assuming we were at home, I would not put him in another room but walk away myself and tell him that mummy wanted to spend time with him but not while making that noise so I was off to have a cup of coffee. I would go and sit in another room enjoying myself as conspicously as possible. Ds could not come into that room until he had calmed down.

Avoided any stuggling or shouting. Worked well with ds. Should say, did not work so well with dd who would happily scream outside door for some time.

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