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Smoked during pregnancy and now I’m terrified of SIDS.

(124 Posts)
Jlp1234 Wed 06-Nov-19 15:36:59

It’s not something which I’m proud of and beat myself up every single second of every single day worrying about SIDS and the potential health implications which I may of caused through my own selfish actions during my pregnancy.
I am due to have my baby at the end of this week but have smoked pretty heavily throughout the duration of my pregnancy due to stresses of home life, a house move and renovations. There is no excuse I know before I’m hounded by tons of judgemental mothers who tell me how selfish I am - but it’s to late for me to change this now unfortunately. I am making myself extremely ill constantly obsessing about SIDS etc and wondered if anyone else has been in this position before and could offer some reassurance or advice sad

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 06-Nov-19 15:39:38

Are you still smoking and do you plan to continue?

Wildorchidz Wed 06-Nov-19 15:39:48

How much did you smoke?
And what does your midwife advise?

whiskersonkittenss Wed 06-Nov-19 15:41:31

Not judging but were you offered the stop smoking service by your midwife/gp? I found this to be very helpful and they gave me all of my nicotine replacements for free, you should give it a go

Celebelly Wed 06-Nov-19 15:43:57

Have you stopped now? The SIDs risk will be hugely exacerbated if you continue smoking once your baby is here.

Confusedbeetle Wed 06-Nov-19 15:45:27

You cant change the past. Do your best to stop smoking. Get help from whoever will give it.

Russell19 Wed 06-Nov-19 15:47:20

Definitely don't co sleep. I'm pretty sure advice is to not do sleep if you are smoker and I'm guessing it's the same with a next to me crib due to the close proximity.

I'm not going to judge at all, you have made the choices but why don't you try and relieve stress in another way?

PotteringAlong Wed 06-Nov-19 15:47:35

I am making myself extremely ill constantly obsessing about SIDS etc and wondered if anyone else has been in this position before and could offer some reassurance or advice

The advice is to stop smoking. Every day without smoking is better than one when you do.

Celebelly Wed 06-Nov-19 15:48:26

As for reassurance, unfortunately no one here can really tell you if your baby will be unaffected. Smoking heavily during pregnancy can cause a range of issues and you should be discussing it with your midwife, assuming she knows. But you can stop now and do the best for your child from now on. There's no point in looking back as it's done, but you need to stop right now if you haven't already.

Jlp1234 Wed 06-Nov-19 15:48:47

I have managed to not smoke now for 2 days and don’t plan on continuing no, but I have smoked roughly 8-10 cigarettes a day for the past 20 weeks or so so the damage is already done at this stage. I feel beyond guilty and like I have failed at being a mother to my baby before I’ve even had the chance. I’m not sleeping or eating properly because I’m so scared of what I may have caused or the thought of SIDS. My midwife or doctors don’t actually know because shamefully I’ve always lied and hid it. :/

PinkBalloon123 Wed 06-Nov-19 15:52:21

Think of how many women (I know of one of them and both her babies were perfectly healthy) who have both smoked and drank alcohol way down the line because they didn't even know they were pregnant. I'm not saying I'd recommend it or that it's okay, I'm just pointing out you're not the only one to have done it and others have been okay

Celebelly Wed 06-Nov-19 15:52:24

You need to tell your midwife. They shouldn't judge but they need to know. It can lead to birth complications.

Gemzee Wed 06-Nov-19 16:18:57

Please read Allen Carrs easy way to stop smoking. I smoked heavily for 15 years, read this book and haven't touched a cigarette for 6 years now.

runoutofnamechanges Wed 06-Nov-19 16:24:50

What's done is done. Stress is bad for your baby too so try not to worry too much. You need to tell your midwife and stop smoking now but, to put things in perspective, SIDS is very rare. There were 0.26 cases per 1000 live births in 2017. Smoking does increase the risk (approx 3 times) but tripling a tiny risk is still a tiny risk. It wasn't so long ago that some doctors recommended smoking during pregnancy to make sure that the baby was small for an easy birth hmm You can do things now to decrease the risk so concentrate on doing that rather than worrying about things you can't change.

Newbie1981 Wed 06-Nov-19 16:36:51

@PinkBalloon123 a bit different, she knew she was pregnant and did so for 20 weeks. I hope your baby is ok and you find the sense to quit

PenguinPickup Wed 06-Nov-19 16:40:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trustmeimamidwife Wed 06-Nov-19 16:42:26

Think of how many women (I know of one of them and both her babies were perfectly healthy) who have both smoked and drank alcohol way down the line because they didn't even know they were pregnant

PinkBalloon123 Wed 06-Nov-19 16:44:40

@newbie1981 I'm well aware of that, I can read. But advice isn't really useful now for the OP so all we can do is try to reassure her.

mumwon Wed 06-Nov-19 16:52:57

my dm generation virtually everybody smoked & we had coal fires & town gas works down the road(its a wonder we didn't come out like kippers!) my dsisters & I are still here - you did decrease smoking - breast feeding is suppose to be helpful against SIDs - isn't it? Could you try to stop before birth & not smoke once baby is born? Don't get to anxious or guilty about smoking

PenguinPickup Wed 06-Nov-19 16:55:12

And get yourself some proper rest and start eating properly. You will need plenty of energy for the birth and for looking after the baby.

RoseToes Wed 06-Nov-19 16:57:57

you can’t change the past. But I’d stop now and after baby is born, and be as healthy as possible for now. I’d also tell your midwife and get advice from them.

chamenanged Wed 06-Nov-19 17:00:12

* I co slept with both of my DC, one of them from the beginning.*

I know pp was trying to be kind/offer reassurance but this is a dangerous thing to say to someone who is clearly having problems exercising good judgement/willpower right now. OP, please don't co-sleep while you're a smoker (to any extent), no matter how tempting it is when you're tired. You need to tell your midwife and access smoking cessation support.

PenguinPickup Wed 06-Nov-19 17:00:53

Which is what I said!!!

PenguinPickup Wed 06-Nov-19 17:08:47

I have reported my post and asked for it to be deleted.

Jlp1234 Wed 06-Nov-19 17:09:07

There is so much scaremongering online in regards to SIDS etc - I haven’t researched on any statistics of it but it’s basically made out that if you have smoked full stop your baby is destined to fall a victim to this. I already barely sleep before she is even here so Christ knows what my anxiety will be like once she is. I deeply deeply hope that my stupidity and selfishness hasn’t affected her sad

I’m not perfect and don’t pretend to be and like I have stated above, I beat myself up daily for smoking whilst pregnant I’m far from proud of it but I’m looking for NONE JUDGEMENTAL ADVICE and reassurance from any mothers who have or are currently going through similar situations so if you aren’t able to offer this newbie1981 then please don’t comment as you only make me feel even worse than I already do.

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