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Parenting

11 week old will not stop crying

21 replies

Newbiemumsy66 · 31/10/2019 23:32

My DS is just about to drive me up the wall. It’s now 11.30pm and I have been trying to settle hims since 8pm. This has now happened every night for the last 2 weeks. He cries constantly when he is awake, maybe 10 minutes a day (if I’m lucky) he is happily kicking about under his baby gym. He has reflux but seemed to be coping with it at about the 7 week stage and showed now symptoms so I’m pretty sure it has settled down. Since then he has been a nightmare. I can’t go anywhere or do anything as he just screams all day. I have tried the following:
Breastfeeding constantly
Not breastfeeding as much in case he is too full
Dummies (he won’t take them)
Rocker
Bouncer
Infacol
Skin to skin
Singing
The car
Dark rooms
Night lights
Mobile and shushing
Pacing up and down
The usual humming shushing
Cuddles (which he seems to hate)

I want to let him cry it out but he will never stop and he is probably too young for that anyway? The only thing I have had some small success with is sitting on a gym ball and gently bouncing but if I replicate the bouncing on a chair or standing he still cries. The minute I put him down Even when he appears to be asleep he cries again. Is there something wrong with him? I want to see the GP but how do you explain what’s wrong??

I’m genuinely about to have a breakdown...

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stargaz · 31/10/2019 23:37

Does your ds sleep well throughout the night?

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Newbiemumsy66 · 31/10/2019 23:38

There are lots of other things I have tried too like bath before bed etc etc. I’m not sure what I’m asking people for. I guess I’m just totally fed up and exhausted. I’ve had 4 hours sleep in the last 4 days.

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Newbiemumsy66 · 31/10/2019 23:40

He used to. Just waking twice for feeds and going straight back to sleep. Now he sleeps whilst feeding and when I try to transfer him to cot he wakes instantly no matter how gently I do it

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Blahblahblahnanana · 31/10/2019 23:42

Do you wind him during/after a feed and sit him up once he’s BF?

Have you tried hand expressing to see if the issue is to do with the flow being too fast when he first latches on?

Are you letting him empty one breast before offering the other breast?

Is he having plenty of wet and dirty nappies?

Can you try a sling to carry him?

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Blahblahblahnanana · 31/10/2019 23:44

If he’s sleeping whilst feeding, try rousing him by changing his nappy, tickling his feet and blowing on his face.

Also wind him and sit him up for a bit as he has reflux.

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Newbiemumsy66 · 31/10/2019 23:45

I have tried expressing by hand and by pump but for some reason I can’t get any more than 20ml. I know I’m producing enough when he feeds judging by the amount of sick sometimes.

I wind him lots but he hardly burps sometime doing it for 20 mins. Perhaps I’m not doing it right?

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stargaz · 31/10/2019 23:47

Im pretty sure my dd at 3 months went through a change in behaviour, babies get growth spurts here and there

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NeedAnExpert · 31/10/2019 23:50

13 weeks is the point at which babies should be born (ALL human babies are born premature). There’s a massive brain development leap at that time.

Have you checked him for a hair tourniquet?

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Blahblahblahnanana · 31/10/2019 23:52

I meant try hand expressing a little before a feed, it could be the flow of milk that is too fast at the start of the feed that is giving him wind/causing reflux.

Expressing by a pump or by hand isn’t as efficient as a baby breastfeeding, so don’t worry about the amount you’re expressing.

I find putting baby over my shoulder easier when winding, just make sure you’ve got a muslin over your shoulder...

Also try sitting him up a bit after feeding.

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Rubyduby26 · 31/10/2019 23:53

My DS was like this when he was younger and in our case I think it was just a case of overstimulation and being overtired.

I used to do the 5 S's, if you Google it it will explain. Once I learnt about this everytime he started I did the 5 S's and he would nearly always go to sleep rather than cry for hours on end. I had to hold him though, I couldn't put him down!

Things improved when he got to about 4 months old where I would just put him in a sling and he would go to sleep. He seemed to cope better with everyday stimulation as he got older and by 6 months I could put him down whilst he was napping, he has always had white noise on though and still does now at 18 months!

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Blahblahblahnanana · 31/10/2019 23:54

Also when he falls a sleep on you, give him 20 minutes before putting him in his cot so he’s in a deeper sleep.

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Blahblahblahnanana · 31/10/2019 23:57
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PlinkPlink · 01/11/2019 00:01

Oh bless you. I know exactly how you feel (aside from utterly exhausted).

DS was a colicky baby. I couldn't leave him in his cot for 5 minutes. He constantly wanted to be near me. It was stifling.
He was also an upright baby, never laid down for cuddles. And we bounced him in the ball regularly just to get him to nap.

Here are some things we did which you could try:

White noise - needs to be continuous. It still works a treat now and he's 2 and a few months now.

Colief - his colic was awful and Infacol/Gripe Water/Dentinox didnt even touch it. Colief was like a miracle. I breastfed so all I did was mix a few drops in a bottle with some briefly expressed milk and voila, he'd get that down and then have breast for the rest of the night.

Wonder Weeks App - this saved my sanity when I couldn't understand why DS was being super clingy on certain days. Mental leaps accounted for his grouchiness and his lack of sleep, as did his physical development leaps.

We didnt bother with a moses basket in the end. No fuss night feeds and lovely co-sleeping. We still do it now and I wouldn't change it for the world.

It can be such a depressing and exhausting time though. I remember it so well. I remember how drained I felt and how I would have given anything just for half an hour to myself.

But it will pass I promise.11 weeks is still so so young and all he's ever known is to be a part of you inside the womb. This will pass.

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Blahblahblahnanana · 01/11/2019 00:05

Have you tried BF lying down, so you can get some rest? Just remember the co-sleeping safe sleeping advice if you do.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

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Newbiemumsy66 · 01/11/2019 00:07

Thanks all, I know everyone goes through it to some extent so I hate to complain. But it seems so much worse when you are living through it x

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BadgertheBodger · 01/11/2019 00:17

Really really hard. There’s a lot of possible explanations and some good things to try but the winding jumped out at me - if he has reflux he will be in a lot of pain if he can’t bring any wind up. My DS was exactly the same with constant crying and just awful, awful lack of sleep for everyone. He is lactose intolerant and his poor tummy used to swell up and he’d be writhing, then wanting to feed because it soothes him, then writhing again 20 mins later. I was a wreck. When he was finally diagnosed at 6 months it was like someone had handed me a different baby the first time he had a lactose free feed. Something to try? I know it’s crap to have cut stuff when you’re BF.

Winding: have a look on YouTube as there’s lots of techniques. Over your shoulder is good, I used to find this plus quite firm big circles on his back was good. My sister is a perinatal mental health nurse and works on a unit so lots of little babies about, she has a great technique where she leans the baby against her body with baby facing forward and sitting up, then she raises both baby’s arms above their head - I’ve never seen her not get a massive burp with that one! Best of luck. Get your partner to wind and settle after feeds every other night so you get a minimum 4 hour block otherwise you’ll keel over Flowers

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TryingToBeBold · 01/11/2019 08:13

Try not to put him down as soon as hes asleep.
A key thing for me was learning the length of their sleep cycle. And at what point they are in a deep sleep and unlikely to be woken easily.

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Abouttimemum · 01/11/2019 21:29

It’s really really hard. We couldn’t put our boy down until he was 3 months old because he screamed and screamed and screamed.
He was premature so came home after 6 weeks in special care and the day his feeding tube was removed he wouldn’t stop screaming. He squealed and squealed during feeding.
Thankfully we had a good gp who said they thought it was silent reflux. They called our boy’s paediatrician who prescribed omeprazole and this resolved his issue overnight.
We had wind to deal with and dentinox drops worked for him with regards this issue.
The trouble is all babies are different and you need to try things for days at a time to see if they work but when you’re living the nightmare it’s almost impossible to think straight!
Although we managed to put a stop to the constant crying he has always been a generally fussy baby and I think his whining is worse than his crying ha!!
It does get better, I promise!

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Kelloggs94 · 29/06/2020 19:35

@PlinkPlink how old is your baby if you don’t mind me asking, sounds so much like my DD so curious as to when this ended for you x

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PlinkPlink · 29/06/2020 20:28

@Kelloggs94 he's 3 now but his colic resolved around 4 months? Hellish 4 months but it did end thank goodness.

The colief drops were a god send.

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Persipan · 30/06/2020 09:11

How does he do in a sling?

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