ff and bf groups

[jeepster]

There seems to be not many groups in my area for people with young babies. Ds is too young for alot of groups. I am desperate to get out so want to know if it would be acceptable to go to bf group to talk to people even though ff? Know it seems a really weird thing to do but don't have anyone to talk to. Would people think this was weird/taking the piss etc?

[belgo]

I'm surprised there are seperate bf and ff groups.

I think you should go along.

[jeepster]

there aren't any ff groups at all. I mean this is bf support group. Is this fairly informal chit chat with help if needed? Or do you sit in circle and discuss?? Obviously dont know these things.

[belgo]

maybe you can phone up the organiser and ask?

[jeepster]

will try that. Go to one group where everyone bf and HV asked me if I wanted to go to bf group so told her I was ff and she just tutted and moved on. It was in front of whole group so just felt a bit embarressed.

[belgo]

that's shame that you were made to feel embarrased.

[belgo]

not everyone is like that HV, most mothers I know are very accepting.

[jeepster]

No mother has said anything to me but sure there are a couple who think I'm a bit rubbish for not bf. There was a comment on mn that 'maternal suicide' ws the only excuse for not bf! I have seen some disapproving comments here but think they are probably in the minority. Just worried people will think i'm inappropriate. Perhaps if I breeze in and say 'i'm just here for the craick!' or some such thing?

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

i dont think there are any ff groups. it's either bf groups or mom and baby groups. if the group is anything like the one i went to they will welcome you with open arms. just explain why you are there!

[belgo]

jeepster - I think you should breeze in and say that ! I think people who make disapproving comments are in a minority, and aren't worth listening to anyway..

[jeepster]

Thanks. I suppose if I was going to a ff group and a bf turned up, I wouldn't think that was particularly strange.

[Reallytired]

I think that the health visitor was really mean to you. She could have made some constructive suggestions.

Do you have transport? There might be a baby massage class or prehaps you might like a baby signing class or a baby swimming class. If you tell us your nearest large town then maybe mumnetters can make suggestions.

Have you tried the NCT? They often organise coffee mornings for all young mums. Alternatively churches often organise mother and baby groups.

I think that it would be a little weird for a formula feeding mum to turn up to a breastfeeding group. You might feel a little out of place. I suggest you phone up the organise to ask them first. Even if the breastfeeding group is not the right place for you the organiser might be able to suggest ideas to you.

[jeepster]

Thanks. The one group I have gone to is babymassage. i actually live in London but doesn't seem to be alot near me and I don't drive. However, I have just signed up for swimming lessons! so making progress! I did visit a local gym also to book in a mother and baby class so will see if the hooligan behaves... therefore have had a constructive morning . Feeling quite pleased with myself.

[cockles]

Is there an NCT new mums group in your area? Worth contacting them to see. I think the bf group is probably a support group where they talk about bf problems & have a counsellor to sort them out, so it might be weird. Try hanging out on park benches near likely mums - people do start talking usually! Or do you have any surestart centres near you - they have loads of stuff.

[ladymac]

Where in London are you jeepster?

NCT operate in most areas of London. You can find local co-ordinator by logging on to main NCT website.

[Reallytired]

I'm really surprised that you say there is very little in London in walking distance. I suppose the problem is knowing about groups.

Have you tried asking people in the baby massage class? You could look in your local library. Our library runs a nursery rhymne singing group for babies once a fortnight. For older toddlers there is a story and craft hour. The best thing is that its FREE! The library also has plenty of ads for local groups.

[jeepster]

I'm in Islington. Would think there was a NCT but think most people do the antenatal classes and meet from there. Will try the library. Seems there are a few things but have to search for them.HV only knew about the council run things. Chanced upon the gym when walking past. We do share things at babymassage - we were all going to go to a buggy push but they have stopped doing it now! Hope people don't think I am stalking them in the park
Probably would feel a little uncomfortable at bf group even if there are lovely people like you guys there.

[ladymac]

Jeepster, sorry to make you be more specific, but where in Islington? Are you anywhere near Tufnell Park as there is a really good group in that area. I lived in Islington until a few months ago so if I knew where you were I could maybe make some suggestions.

[ladymac]

There is also a Hackney and Islington branch of the NCT.