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Just sent DS to bed...am loosing control!!!

(36 Posts)
Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:03:12

it seems like no matter what I do with him his behaviour is horrendous. Am I a bad mother???? I have turned into this screeching banshee as he completely ignores me any other time.
He has been with FIL for 4hrs today and was great, in a lovely mood so I brough him home and decided to make cakes with him as he asked yesterday. So we make the cakes, all lovely and we were sitting watching power rangers. Next thing he just starts acting up and hasnt stopped since. I was trying to talk to him calmly, I was putting him in time out for hitting his sisters, screeching, telling me to shut up etc etc etc. He asked for spaghetti on toast for tea so I did it but he then refused to eat it.I said thats fine but there is no pudding unless you eat cue more tantrums. More time out where he started throwing things at me which was the point I shouted at him. I just dont know what to do with him anymore and it is reducing me to tears, where has my lovely little boy gone??? Instead he is replaced by this demonic 3.10yr old.

Scootergrrrl Thu 16-Aug-07 18:05:59

You are horribly sleep deprived and coping very well as far as I'm concerned.

Roseylea Thu 16-Aug-07 18:08:37

Put the kettle on. Make a cup of tea. Give yourself a break. Then go and try to talk resonably to him. If that doesn't work, leave him in his room for 3 mins and do it again. And again if needed. THat's what I'd do, anyway.

You sound like a great mum, doing lovely things with your ds. It sounds like he's the one who's lost it, not you.

Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:10:44

scooter I know I am sleep deprived which isnt helping but I just dont know what to do. I have done everything I can think of and nothing is changing. I can hear him banging a drum in his room so he obviously isnt too bothered

ClareL Thu 16-Aug-07 18:14:41

My DS (3.5) is exactly the same. Most people think he autistic because he is such a live wire. I spend my entire day with him repeating everything back to me over and over. He can be so lovely for other people - well behaved and really loving - then for me he is an absolute little brat. I love him dearly but I really do lose my rag with him sometimes. If I send him to his room he will lay on the floor kicking the door. I now take his cars off of him. He loves Lighning McQueen and King from cars (carries them everywhere). I take them off of him and he soon calms down. He is now rolling his cars around on the floor whilst my DD (7) is trying to watch High School Musical. He is making as much noise with his cars (laminate flooring) as he possibly can. He drives me nuts.... What can you do.... Some days it's easier to cope with than others...

Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:18:05

clare I used to take toys off DS and now he is at the point where that doesnt bother him either. There is nothing he particularly cares about. There were concerns he was borderline autistic but dont think he is as of the stuff he seems to have grown out of.I think I find it harder as we have a lot going on as usual like MIL is in hospital so every night Dh has gone there after work so isnt getting home till after 9pm instead of after 7pm. Also none of the DC sleep and DD1 is copying some of DS behaviour.

ClareL Thu 16-Aug-07 18:36:10

The ice cream man once asked me if I had any "problems" with my DS. How embarrassing is that??? I have had concerns about autism but I know he isn't autistic - but he definitely isn't one of the nice calm relaxed children. He really has a sting in his tail - and even though he does everything with a smile on his face - he is still an absolute little rascal. Due you think it's the age. My DS is 3.9yrs old. He is 4 in Nov. His communication is ok but not brilliant. I have convinced myself that it's all down to communication and once he can argue back and get his point across then he might calm down a bit. When I am shouting at him he then shouts back at me but negatively. I might of asked him to go the the toilet before we go out and he might not of gone, so I ask him again and then again.. he will then should back "no you go to the toilet" he does that a lot. Some of the things he says I know he hasn't got a clue what he's talking about.

ClareL Thu 16-Aug-07 18:39:14

Also my children see their dad most nights for about 15 mins tops. We are lucky if he is in from work by 8/8.30. Most mornings (as it's school holidays) he is up and out before we get up. My days are so incredibly long that I find that as the day goes on he gets away with more and more. Like sitting her now - I should be getting them ready for bed. But not had an adult conversation all day - need some contact with the outside world.!!!

Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:39:57

Clare that sounds like DS, he is 4 in oct. He is under a SALT for speech and lang problems so he talks more now but he still gets very confused.I am hoping that going to nursery 5 mornings from sept might help his behaviour as it has gone worse since playgroup finished which he went to 3mornings

Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:43:06

you could just be me!!! Your last post is like my life, DH leaves for work at 7am, all the children usually get up then or before. I do 90% of childcare alone as I tend to put them all to bed before DH is back.I also think having all 3 so young makes it harder as DD1[20m] copies ds and dd2 is 7mths and extremely clingy.

ClareL Thu 16-Aug-07 18:48:48

I don't know how you cope. My DD (7) can be quite helpful when she wants to be. I still put them to bed at the same time though. Because I have to have an evening. The later they go to bed the later I stay up. Had to pick hubby up from the station at 8.25pm last night - and he said he'd come home early so that I could go to the gym... How do you work that one out!! Early??? My Bruv/SIL had 3 children really close in age my niece was only 15 months old when they had twin boys. But my bruv gets in from work at 3.30 everyday and he doesn't go to work any earlier than my hubby.

ClareL Thu 16-Aug-07 18:50:41

My DS starts full time nursery in Sept. 5 afternoons - he did 3 sessions at pre school. He went for speech therapy once but they said he was fine. I wasn't sure if I should go back to the Docs and get referred again.

FluffyMummy123 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:51:25

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ClareL Thu 16-Aug-07 18:52:52

I am now going to go and run my kids a bath and will revert back later.....

EscapeFrom Thu 16-Aug-07 18:53:20

Nemo, it is a HIDEOUS AGE and you are coping ADMIRABLY.

And, IME< when they are being really foul, the best thing to do with them is send them to bed.

FluffyMummy123 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:53:54

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Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:55:19

pmsl cod you just made me laugh out loud as queen of all that is nice!!

Will be chucking them all in the bath in a minute, ds came down and apologised after 40mins in his room!

FluffyMummy123 Thu 16-Aug-07 18:55:49

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Nemo2007 Thu 16-Aug-07 19:00:15

now do you know I bloody might!!

EscapeFrom Thu 16-Aug-07 19:00:35

There was a lot of umming and ahhhing about ds1 - (It's col ditz here!) - as he was similar at this age and is still always the fastest object in any given room that doesn't have a maddened whippet in it.

FluffyMummy123 Thu 16-Aug-07 19:00:47

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harpsichordcarrier Thu 16-Aug-07 19:03:09

aha a Bad Day
me too
I found myself shouting "STOP SHOUTING DD2!!!"
which makes no flipping sense does it?
anyway, It's His AGe. as you know.
also possibly your age

FluffyMummy123 Thu 16-Aug-07 19:03:39

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FluffyMummy123 Thu 16-Aug-07 19:03:46

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harpsichordcarrier Thu 16-Aug-07 19:05:38

oooh grumpy old fish
I yelled at dds when they were playing a game called throw the carrot
and scraming with hysterical laughter
dd1 said I think you are being a bit rude today mummy

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